


Blood and Sand

by Joey_Westwife



Category: Home and Away, Westlife
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anonymity, Anxiety Attacks, Boys In Love, Cheating, Coming Out, Drug Dealing, Drunk Driving, Drunken Confessions, Escape, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fear of Death, Fear of Discovery, Fist Fights, Flirting, Foiled Confessions, Gay Sex, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Instability, Murder, Paranoia, Police, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Rape Recovery, Regrets, Repressed Memories, Secrets, Sex in a Car, Shooting Guns, Staged Crime Scene, Tears, Therapy, Threats of Violence, Witness Protection, blood and sand, home and away - Freeform, police dogs, police sting, sligo, strandhill, the river boys, westlife - Freeform, whistle blowing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2019-05-24 23:23:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 64,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14964200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joey_Westwife/pseuds/Joey_Westwife
Summary: Aussie boys Darryl and Heath Braxton take over Strandhill and form The River Boys with Mark, Kian and Shane. Police are working hard to bring down the drug mafia but when an officer is murdered, Nicky is brought in to help Jack with the investigation. Keeping his own dark secrets, he falls in love with bad boy Shane and convinces him to blow the whistle on the gang, offering protection and anonymity but their secrets catch up with them and a shoot out sees the end of life as they all know it, leaving broken Mark with nothing and no one.**Major character death isn't a WL boy.Home & Away/Westlife cross over.





	1. Chapter 1

It didn’t look like they did in the movies. No chaise longue across from an armchair with a coffee table in-between, cup and saucer, flowers, pamphlets. No bookshelves full of self-help reads or weird, colourful splodges on canvas rendered 'artwork' on the walls. No scary, grey haired man with glasses propped at the end of his nose, hands folded under his chin with elbows on arm rests, analysing the situation with standard questions... It was very clinical this room. A simple, small, magnolia painted room with a white board, 2 blue chairs either side of a low wooden table with just a box of tissues in the centre. The usual routine of filling in the questionnaire had been done, stuck to the clipboard resting on his knee. The shrink smiled warmly as she always did, empathetic with soft features, wearing an office dress and pretty blazer jacket with court shoes, her long brown hair swept to the side, probably in her late 40s. 

“Your score is slightly better this week Mark. That’s good to see. Are the pills working do you think?” Roo offered an open smile as she signed off his results. 

Mark shrugged. He’d not been on them long. Took a few weeks to start making a difference he was told. “Maybe.” He mumbled, avoiding eye contact as he hung his head, staring at his toe scuffed shoes. “Stayed indoors.”

“Anxious or caring for your boyfriend?”

“Kian’s... We broke up. Said I’m too broken and he needs support himself so I’m no good to him.” Mark tried hard to hold back tears for longer than he usually did but the break up was fresh, only happening 5 days ago. His life was shattered. He had nothing and no one. 

“I’m very sorry to hear that. Would you rather we talk about project panda instead today? If project dolphin is too raw.” She suggested, using Mark’s chosen code names for each event ruling his suffocating mind. “We were up to the part where the offender...”

“I know!” he snapped, slapping both hands on his ears to drown out the sound of her voice. Even the mention of project panda hurled him into a mental fit more so than the recent dolphin fiasco. Digging his nails into his scalp, pinching his lobes with his thumbs, rocking back and forth in his chair as he rode out the demon dragging its sharp knuckles down his spine. 

“Remember to count Mark. It’s OK sweetheart.” Roo had to be patient every time, knowing this was his normal reaction. It only lasted half a minute then he’d settle, apologise and carry on. It was only his 3rd appointment.  
**

May bank holiday always brought locals to Strandhill. Mainly due to the fact the surf carnival was on otherwise it’s a pretty quiet, sleepy estate by the beach about 8km from Sligo town. A caravan park up yonder, a stones throw from the tiny airport, housed the visitors taking part and spectating the annual sports competition, many pegging up a tent for a full ocean fresh airing to the lungs during their stay. Martha Mackenzie helped run the place; a beautiful, smiley lass in her early 30s, always dressed in pretty dresses to catch any glint of Irish rays to look as sun kissed as possible when the surf dudes came around. The local stone built pub The Strand Bar had recently been bought out and reinvented by Australian brothers Heath and Darryl Braxton, Darryl taking the name Brax as the oldest. They’d kitted it out to look cool with an Aussie theme and offered light bites on the menu. It was situated next door to the surf club, also owned by Brax but managed by local, blonde surf nut Kian Egan.   
Although the fresh new feel to the area had been welcomed just over a year ago, locals weren’t so keen on the company Brax chose to socialise with. They’d been known to throw a few late night beach parties, reeking havoc in their drunken states, disturbing the otherwise quiet spot on the upper West coast of Ireland and their bad attitudes were beginning to gain them few too many enemies.   
The arcade house next to the bar hadn’t been much to look at before but Heath was working on expanding the joint and investing in some new games machines to attract more of a seaside feel; nothing like Blackpool or Vegas but just a little distraction of a weekend evening. 

Whilst the residents were happy to attract a few more visitors they weren’t keen on the commercialisation Brax was trying to bring. Too many piss heads at a weekend disturbing the peaceful ambiance it had been known for, extra vrooms and tissing of power exhausts on the back of shitty chav-mobiles and choppers riding in for gang shindigs on the rocky beach, too many loud mouths in the cosy little off license and corner shop campaigning for a Spar shop or Tesco express to be built close by despite the house count being low and there only been one bus stop for miles around offering an hourly service. It was only a 10 minute drive to the main town so it wasn’t out in the sticks too far that anyone was ever stuck for necessities. There was a fish and chip shop on the promenade and a small souvenir store selling magnets, bucket and spades and the normal tacky crap kids like to whine for. 

To the left of the sea front there was a huge golf range, providing stunning views of the coastline and greenery. But the best trekking was available on Knocknarea, a huge mountain overlooking Strandhill and the surrounding areas; a breath-taking panoramic view. It was kitted with a trail made from wooden plinth steps with a handrail to walk through the wood side and up to the top where a suspicious mound of stones lay, a historical standing that no-one cared enough to read into anymore. All in all Strandhill was a beautiful corner of Sligo and building in popularity this weekend for the fun event. 

“To the left, up, no too much, down...”

“C’mon Brax!” Kian complained as the big boss directed exactly where the promotional poster should stick on the window offering beginners a cracking deal on surf lessons. Brax laughed and gave him the thumbs up. “Finally.” The blonde rolled his eyes with a sigh, pressing the sheet down into the glass before he slipped. 

“Dust the shelves will ya. Make sure everything is clean. Wanna make a better impression than last year.” 

“Last year was a bomb site because you took over 2 months before the carnival and wanted to modernise. Everyone knows that. It’ll be grand.” Kian patted his hand on Brax's shoulder for reassurance and set off towards the till to cash on. “So Heath has the gear yeah?”

“It’s coming in this arvo. Shane ready to do the honours? It’ll be teaming with cops and we can not afford a bust on this one.”

“Shane’s the most vigilant and Mark will help. He’s got an innocent face. Lock in tonight?”

“Sure thing. Find some skirt yeah?” Brax knew Kian hated chatting up the girls so he deliberately made him do it despite the fact he was gay. “Get Shane to flash his smile too. He’s better looking.”

Kian laughed but agreed. “Harsh but true. This aching great scar across my face doesn’t help my case. Just as well Mark knew me before I got it.”

“Don’t know what he sees in you.” Brax grinned, teasing his number one staff member. “Don’t know how you can have a cock up your arse. It’s just wrong! I’m so glad Shane isn’t gay. Might put the pressure on today and get him to strike his player game. I want girls falling over each other in the bar tonight.”

“He loves the chase. Heath doesn’t do bad. He’s a hot favourite.”

“Idiot doesn’t surf either though. What kind of image is that?! He’s on the pumps later. Once the girls are in, they’ll stay for him. He’s got to drive to The Glen to load on first. Oh try and get Martha in if you see her, I’ve gotta go.”

“Laters.” 

It was only 8am but the skies were cloud free and the wall to wall sunshine forecasted was already prevalent. Excitement filled the streets as early birds claimed their spot on the rocks to watch the heats and entertainment throughout the day. Bunting was strung from post to post across the main road and sea front with an occasional bundle of balloons tied up high for decoration. Tables and chairs sat outside the surf club, bar, fish shop and arcades, many with parasols to shade the needy. With temperatures ready to sore to 26 degrees, Co. Sligo was in for the hottest carnival they’d ever experienced.   
**

Jack Holden was one of Sligo’s cutest, nicest and most respected Gardaí at the age of 34. He’d been on the beat there for 6 years keeping the peace on the streets with his partner Charlie Buckton until her sensational disappearance 3 months ago. Her dead body had been later found washed up on Cullenamore beach to the south of the golf course in Strandhill, blood stained from a stab wound to her stomach. It had hit Jack hard and he was determined to get justice for the beauty, suspecting Brax and his gang had something to do with it. They’d been on the boy’s case for 9 months after a sudden influx of drug use had swept the area resulting in the deaths of 10 youngsters having taken an unknown illegal high. He suspected Charlie had gone out alone to track a drop off and got caught in the crossfire but there was little evidence to suggest it so he was working hard on trying to crack the River Boys, bringing down the right guy. 

In her place, Nicky Byrne had been transferred from Dublin. A 36 year old, blonde, pretty boy who’d been on the force covering the North-East precincts of the city for 4 years, starting at the academy at a later age than Jack who’d trained in Cork at the age of 21 and served there and Tralee before moving up to Sligo himself. Officer Holden seemed to enjoy the calmer atmospheric coastal towns to the hustle and bustle of Dublin and protested any offer of a transfer to cover big cases in the capital. Nicky was the same. He’d been happy to move up to Sligo. He didn’t know the area well but he’d visited during the summer 5 years ago after being made redundant from his mundane bank job, taking a month or so to chill and decide what he wanted to do next with his life but all the thinking time had driven him to despair and one night in a drunken slot machine game he’d lost all his money leaving him skint and desperate with a drinking habit to feed. His time in Sligo hadn’t been as helpful and liberating as he’d hoped until he hit rock bottom, did something he shouldn’t have for a while and felt the only way to redeem himself was to save his cash to get back to Dublin and sign up to the guards. 

During a night out to bond with his new partner a few months ago, Jack had introduced Nicky to Martha, the caravan worker. They hit it off immediately and Nicky went on to ask her out. It was casual but the couple had been seeing each other for 2 months now and Nicky still hadn’t been to Strandhill to see her at work. He’d been remotely working on Charlie’s case for 2 weeks now after dealing with a stash of open petty crime files she had left behind but now was the time to get up on his feet and join Jack at the beach party, patrolling the streets of surfers. He was excited about finally having the time to put faces to names and places Martha had told him about but he was especially nervous about meeting the River boys. He’d heard so much about them lately and the description of Brax and Kian alone scared him. Still, if he took a leaf out of Jack’s book and remained nice and polite, he’d gain the same respect... He hoped!

Cruising up the R292 through Scarden towards the carnival, Nicky asked for the lowdown. 

“The Braxtons own the surf club, arcade and bar. Darryl is the top man and his younger brother is Heath. Heath seems to keep a low profile during the day but he’s always the most inebriated of a night. The gobby one, the good looking one. Cheeky as fuck. Then there’s the surf club manager Kian. He’s always been a trouble maker before the Braxtons even made it to town. He’s got a 3 inch scar on his right cheek from a brawl which we suspect one of the brothers gave him but it was never reported. His mates seem alright but the short one is likely the dealer and his tall friend who I think is Kian’s boyfriend is a little crazy.”

“Crazy how?!” Nicky smirked.

“Just a bit of a schizo ya know? One day he’s happy and cheeky then the other he’s angry and abusive towards me. Bipolar maybe, who knows. He looks innocent but I suspect he’s the weakest link and gets pushed around. The Irish lads have been friends for years. They’re local to Strandhill and when the brothers arrived there was a bit of rivalry but they all seem to converse and operate as one gang now.”

Nicky raised his eyebrows, nodding as he took a deep breath and smiled. “Righto. Expecting any trouble from them today?”

“Not until later. Brax is pretty solid when it comes to the businesses. He’s gone to a lot of effort to modernise the place and attract customers. Today we’re on the look out for the mules. The brunette lads and Heath. If our suspicions were right, Heath collects the stash from somewhere and Shane and Mark do the distribution. Keep your eyes peeled for anyone rolling their eyes a lot. The drug we’re looking for causes palpitations but when it kicks in at its worse, takers have been seen gurning and eye rolling before they fall into a fit. It’s gonna be a hot day so trying to work out if a faint is genuine or inflicted is going to be difficult.”

“No problem. Caught enough idiots in Phoenix Park to know the signs. Don’t suppose we have time to drop by the caravan park?” Nicky said with a cheesy, hopeful grin. 

Jack chuckled and shook his head. “Martha? How’s it going with you guys? Slept together yet?”

“Once or twice yeah. It’s not really about that to be honest. She’s a great lass but we’re better friends than lovers to be fair. Not sure where it’s going but I like her so we’ll see.” 

“Cracking rack if you don’t mind me saying so.”

Nicky shoved Jack’s shoulder causing him to swerve a little. “Fuck off mate. Had your chance.”

“Took it too.” Jack finally admitted. Nicky’s jaw dropped and the word 'What' was screeched in his ear. “Ha-ha, one night stand when I first moved here. She’s tidy that’s for sure but I didn’t ask her out because Charlie was against me disrupting the case we were working on at the time.” 

“Cant believe you never told me that. You sly fox.”

“Nico it was nothing really. Didn’t want it to affect your confidence to see her. She’s been single a long time and I know she really likes you. She always asks where you are when I see her.”

“Oh... That’s sweet. Pull in then. We can leave the car here for an hour.” Nicky was already unbuckling his belt when Jack turned into the car park. 

Martha stepped out of the shower block with a mop bucket in her hand, peeling off her bright yellow marigolds to prepare for a hug the second she saw the cop car turn in. Shielding the sun from her eyes in a salute, she beamed a smile at the hot cops stepping out of the vehicle, straightening their hats and sliding on their aviator shades. 

“Good morning officers. To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

“Morning beautiful.” Nicky gave her a kiss on the cheek and deliberately watched as she smiled at Jack to greet him. Not sure why he was paranoid now, it had only been a drunken fumble but he was worried his girlfriend might find the town’s favourite guard more attractive all of a sudden. “Working hard sweetheart?”

“Some assholes decorated the men’s toilets last night in some pretty disgusting... You get the picture.” 

Jack sniggered having heard the same old story numerous times. “Keep telling ya to provide bog roll.”

“If the cretin kids that come this time every year didn’t use it to throw wet balls at the ceiling there’d be enough to go round.” She sighed, used to the same routine every year. 

“They still around?” Jack asked, looking for the familiar trailer the gypsies usually pulled up in. 

“They left this morning. Made them pay up front this year. Glad the little bastards have gone. Getting really tired of the mess they leave behind. No glamour for me.”

“I’ll take you out on Monday if you want?” Nicky suggested, squinting at his girl in her bleach stained tabard. “You can get dressed up and we’ll make a night of it.”

“Aww thanks Nico, that’d be great. I’ll look forward to it.”

Jack chuckled and looked away as Nicky leaned in to give her a kiss, jealousy bubbling up from his butterfly filled tummy as he watched the blonde touch her. “Work Nick, come on.”

“See you later hopefully?” Nicky smiled, pulling away about to catch up with his partner who was already 5 paces ahead. 

Martha nodded and watched them both walk off to patrol. “Stay safe!” she shouted out to them, receiving a quick hat bow as an OK. 

Skipping to his side, Nicky’s fake grin subsided as he got into work mode. Trouble was, his serious pout was sexier than his smile and the teenage girls around town melted as he walked by. Jack teased him all morning as they greeted locals and visitors to the carnival, making their presence known to make everyone feel comfortable. 

Stood amongst the viewing point, Nicky licked his ice cream and kept a watchful eye on the exchanges on the beach. Nothing yet seemed untoward. “No sign of the boys yet then?”

“Brax will be in the bar and Kian will be in the club. Don’t recognise anyone down there though. Finish your ice cream and we’ll take a look inside the pub. Usually gains a pint on the house. Darryl’s a suck up.” Jack winked. 

“Bobbies on the beat at 1o’clock.” Brax warned Shane, perched at the end of the bar. “Brought the new boy.” He added under his breath. He looked up with a welcoming smile and nodded at Jack. “Officer Holden.”

“Darryl.” Jack returned a nod. “Busy I see.”

“Best joint in the village.” He claimed.

“Only joint in the village.” Shane added, turning to greet the Garda. “Officer.” He smiled at Nicky. 

Nicky smiled back at the country boy in his red check open shirt, showing off his chest. “Warm?!”

“Yeah, so?!” Shane rudely replied, giving the new cop a dirty look. 

“Officer Byrne.” He held out his hand but Shane refused to shake it under close surveillance of Brax. Tough guy! Jack chuckled. “Rude!”

Jack grinned and signalled 2 fingers at Brax to pour them a Guinness each. “Should be out enjoying the rays pal.”

“Waiting for Mark.” 

'This must be Shane then.’ Nicky worked out in his head. “What’s the plan? Not up for a comp?”

“Do I look like a fucking surfie?” Shane looked at Brax and laughed. “If you want a local high flier look for Kian.”

Brax had been trying for months to get Shane and Mark into the sport to no avail. He passed the pints over to the cops and failed to ask for charge as Jack assumed. “All’s well then?”

“So far. Just checking in. Where’s hot shot?” Jack asked, referring to Heath. 

“Work.” Shane chipped in. “Isn’t that where you should be?”

Nicky creased his forehead at the brunette and pouted. “Think this is just fancy dress?”

“Only at weekends lads.” Brax chuckled and went on to serve the remaining punters gasping for a cold beer before 11am. 

“Plastic cups, see. Playing it safe.” Shane pointed to Nicky’s glass as he sipped it, leaving a froth ‘tashe on his upper lip. 

“Good call. Wouldn’t want any more of you to end up like Scarface.” Jack grinned, winking at Shane who grimaced at the copper’s constant use of nicknames for them. 

“Wind your neck in Jack. Ever the professional.” Shane slid off his stool and took to the men’s. 

Nicky laughed and continued to gulp his drink. “Kian the Scarface I take it?”

“Bunch of pricks... Don’t deserve to be addressed by their real names. Charlie used to call Shane Seabiscuit. Winds him up no end.”

“Why?! He into horses or something?”

“His family own a stud farm in Sligo. He used to bring a horse onto the beach until Brax came along and ribbed him for it. Suppose she figured Seabiscuit suited best given the coast. I don’t bother calling him though. He’s alright when he’s on his own. Probably the most normal of the lot.”

“What about the mental one? Mark.”

Jack shrugged. “Wouldn’t go near him mate. Heard him called 'Clockwork' or 'Alex' a few times but I reckon it’s just ironic cause I don’t think he’s capable of such things. He’s the most fearful, the easy target. A young woman was raped in the area and when we questioned him about it, he freaked out. Like, he was scared himself.”

“Weird.” Nicky shrugged it off as he finished his pint and threw the empty cup in the bin at the front door. 

It was getting busy now. 10.30am and the crowds were flooding to the beach to observe the kid’s games. Jack put his half full drink down on an empty table and followed Nicky back outside. Didn’t want to be over the limit if they needed to rush off somewhere. In theory they were posted in Strandhill all day while other officers came and went on standby but he didn’t want to be caught out if something broke out. 

Shane returned to his seat just as Mark entered the bar, sliding past the guards making their way down the promenade. “The prodigal son returns.” He high-fived his friend and shoulder bumped him. “Just missed the new Gardaí.”

“Saw the back of him outside. Tough 'un?”

“Pussy more like. Jack was laughing at him. Ain’t gonna be a problem chap. Ready for a deal later?”

“Sure. You sure he’s alright?”

Shane raised a brow at Mark with a smirk on his face. “Looked like your type to me. Flirt a little, we’ll be fine.”

“My type?! Gay or blonde?”

“Both.” 

Interrupting the boys Brax butted in to set then straight. “Nah, he’s seeing Martha. She told me the other day she was seeing the new cop.”

“Oh well. Heath said 3pm yeah?” Shane confirmed what time to expect the gear in his pocket. It’d never been an issue before, he’d never been caught dealing and the new pretty boy wasn’t going to knock his confidence one little bit.  
**

The only exciting thing to happen for the services before mid afternoon was the wave of fainters not taking enough precautions in the blazing hot sunshine. All the shaded spots had spectators and drinkers glued to them for hours so the mass of Irish visitors struggled not to burn to a crisp. Martha had been handing out free bottles of water to her campers when they exited the grounds to join the party but with the bins filling of rubbish, empty cans and bottles were strewn across the sidewalk. Street pastors were trying their best to keep on top of the picking and continued to clear the beach of any stray garbage so it didn’t reach the sea as Jack and Nicky politely asked guests to keep hold of their rubbish until they could find a reasonable place to throw it away. 

“Gotta say Jack I was expecting more than this. Everyone is so laid back.” Nicky wafted a flyer across his face to create some form of breeze. His little nose was catching the sun and he looked like Rudolph. “Still not seen the brother yet.”

“He’ll be laying low til tonight no doubt. Has his minions to do the dirty work. Notice how the two brunette’s haven’t left each others side all day. One shades the other while a deal is exchanged.”

“So how are they getting away with it if you can see it happening?”

“Well I don’t. That’s just how the druggies round here operate. Last time I thought I’d caught them they had nothing on them and the guy they sold to had got away too fast. They don’t carry enough on them for more than one drop. If they’re asked for it they get sent somewhere else we think or ordered to come back later. Never found a trace on them.”

“What about wads of cash?” Nicky turned his back on the sun and huffed as he sweated under his hat. 

“Never more than 50 on them. I know the fuckers are doing it I just can’t seem to prove it yet. Anyway it’s bigger than just those two. They’re small fry. Not that interested in them. It’s Heath we need to get hold of and find out who his supplier is. Can’t touch the bastards without any reasonable cause.” 

“Killing Charlie isn’t reason enough?! Have you even questioned them about it?”

Jack nodded and took a bottle of juice off a passing security guard, catering for the services dehydration rate. “Cheers buddy... Yeah course. CCTV show Brax, Shane and Mark in the pub the day she disappeared. Kian was at the surf club and Heath had been seen in Sligo but her car was wrapped around a tree by the afternoon and she was gone. Took 2 days to find her body. We don’t know if she’d been killed on the beach or taken back there. It’s under investigation.” 

“But she was stabbed right? What if it wasn’t Heath? Don’t you think she could have been onto the suppliers and they did it?”

“It’s an option. To be fair Brax did seem a bit upset when we told him. Think he had a thing for her. Nothing ever happened between them but if his brother had hurt her, I think we’d have sensed it. Just pretty sure it’s him doing the collection.”

“So what is it we’re actually trying to do here?” Nicky took the bottle from Jack and finished off the contents, tossing the empty into the freshly changed bin as they slowly sauntered back towards the pub. 

“Looking out for evidence or suspicious activity that could lead to an arrest so we can question anyone about Charlie. Ignore the sly hand overs, we can’t stop that. Protect as many people as we can though and don’t delay when we see a user. There’ll probably be plenty of antisocial behaviour tonight. Just a boring one till then.”

“Can I grab my break now? Need some shade.”

“Course. I’ll take mine too. Just be on call if I need you yeah? You off to see Martha?”

Nicky’s cheeky smirk wasn’t something he could hide. “Maybe. Figured she’d have some sunscreen for my nose.”

“Oh right is that what you call it?” Jack laughed at his hopeless partner. “See you in 20 then bud.” He saluted the blonde who scuttled off round the back of the surf club to catch Martha chatting to the campers while he took a piss break and casually asked for a J20 from Brax. “Boiling in here mate. No air con?”

“Mate?!” Brax sniggered, popping open the bottle and charging him full price. “Didn’t think pigs could sweat?” he smiled, knowing he could push his banter so far without being moaned at. 

“Ha, whatever meat head. Bet you’re making a pretty penny or two today.”

Shane snorted and shook his head. He wasn’t Jack’s biggest fan. “Yeah fair and square so when I open my wallet later will I get a lecture about possible drug money again?”

“Why would you have the profits in your wallet?” Jack raised his brow and turned to watch the football playing on the TV with no intentions of moving away from the boys at the bar. Within a minute Heath was behind the pumps whispering into his brother’s ear. Jack couldn’t make out what was being said but the second Shane noticed, he bolted into the back, closely followed by Mark. “Something I said?”

Heath smiled at the ladies leaning over the counter trying to flash their cleavage in a hope they’d get served quicker. “Something you are more like officer. Shane never did like confrontation.”

“Should I have something to confront him with?”

“You tell me. You’re the cop who thinks he knows everything. Find out who killed your partner yet?” he chuckled and carried on serving the girls, leaving Jack to his drink, fire in his belly and the urge to jump over the counter and strangle the Aussie twat he was convinced knew the answers.  
**

Martha gently dabbed some moisturiser onto the tip of Nicky’s nose, smiling at the berry shade in the centre of his face. “Not your best look but you look super hot in your uniform.”

“Thanks. Having a nice day?” she nodded. “What’s the plan tonight?”

“Myself and Ricky are going to sit in the pub and chill. What time do you clock off? Maybe you could join us. If you don’t mind socialising with the River Boys of course.”

“You know them well?” 

“Hmm, kinda. Brax is fine. He acts all big and mighty but he’s nice really. Kian’s pretty cool, I’ve watched him surf from a distance a few times and stood talking to him when he’s out back of the club having a smoke. Don’t know the others too well but they’re nice to chill with. Shane’s a bit of a miserable prick sometimes and Mark, Pfft, don’t go there. He’s a head case.”

“What about Heath? See much of him?”

“Are you jealous or interrogating me? Because you’re in uniform and we’re not exclusive.” Martha had always been sceptical about dating a guard since spending so much time in the pub. She sensed something dodgy was going on but tried to stay out of it as much as she could, having to share the area with the business owner. “You’re not using me are you?”

“What?! Of course not. Don’t you think if we wanted to use you, Jack would have asked you out after you slept together?” Martha’s peachy cheeks turned a blushing shade of red as her eyes widened. “Yeah he told me earlier. I’m not bothered, just understand my point OK? I’m not asking you to spy I was just asking how well you knew them.”

“Sorry... Heath’s fit but he’s mysterious. I don’t see him much. Only behind the bar.”

“Right. Sorry too, I’m just in work mode.” Nicky took a sip from the coffee mug Martha had brewed for him and sat back into his chair in the office. “What happened to the Mark bloke to make him so crazy? Jack said to stay away too.”

“No idea. He used to be such a sweetie. Before the Braxtons came to town the 3 others used to knock about and be a bit leery but it was long before Brax showed up that Mark lost it. It was about 5 years ago. One day he was lovely, the next a total train wreck. He won’t talk to anyone about it. He flips at the click of fingers sometimes. Could be having a harmless conversation and then suddenly he’ll go ape shit, shouting, holding his ears telling everyone to shut up. Kian holds him up most of the time but even he doesn’t know the truth. They didn’t get together until after whatever he went through but they’ve been mates since school.”

“Hmm. Fair enough.” 

“Nicky... What’s going on between us? I love spending time with you and I think you’re great. I know work is important but I don’t get what we are. We’ve only slept together twice. Where is this going?” 

Nicky was put on the spot, shocked by her confronting question and confused by his own feelings, unsure what to say. “Martha I think you’re great too. I just don’t want to rush anything. This case is huge and I don’t want to hurt you. If you need answers right now then maybe we should just end it. But I’d rather not. You’re the best friend I’ve got around here.”

“OK. It doesn’t matter, forget I said anything. I enjoy your company too so let’s just see where it goes.” She smiled and held her hand on his cheek. “I’m not interested in anyone else anyway.”

“Thanks for being patient and understanding babe. I’ll take you out Monday as planned and we’ll see what happens. Maybe stay at mine?”

“Sounds perfect.” She beamed, having never stayed over before. It sounded like a good sign at least and maybe it meant getting naked with the pretty guard again was on the cards.  
**

‘All done yet?' Heath texted Shane as he sat across the pub. All he needed was a thumbs up or down as an answer, no incriminating message that could be construed as evidence. He received the nod and went over to the bar with Mark to collect his stake. “Where’s Holden?”

“Outside with blondie. Think they’re on a late?”

“8 finish I reckon. Party on boys.” He winked and bounced on the spot getting ready for a big night. 

It was already 5:48pm and some of the crowds had died down now. Just casual paddle boarders and exhausted lobster coloured swimmers left in the water, proud comp winners flashing their medals around their necks as they rested on the rocks and picnic benches scattered with hungry daytime drinkers. The fish shop had a queue half way down the road and Brax’s chef was working off hook as the orders rang in for pizza, flat breads and chips to soak up the alcohol. 

Shutting up shop 10 minutes early, Kian joined the boys in the bar with the understanding no one really needed to buy a wetsuit or waterproof camera this time of day. Had they needed to it was tough shit. He was tired and needed a beer. Wanted a rest with good friends before he got up and repeated the same routine the next day for round 2 of the carnival. Brax hadn’t seemed too bothered by the premature closure of the club, aware his best bud had caned it all day and signed up a fair few new members. He added an extra shot of vodka for free into his Coke and thanked him for his hard work. 

“Hey gorgeous.” The blonde kissed his boyfriend in front of the boys, something that Brax usually resented and asked him not to do but he was let off on this occasion. “Sorry.” He apologised regardless. 

“I’m not a homophobe Keano. You do know I’m not personally against it right?” Brax seemed to be in a cheery mood for a change. He was a genuinely nice guy when he wanted to be. They didn’t see that side of him often but he was jolly from his profit building day. “Have the night off from playing tough guy hey?”

“You’re giving me permission to kiss my boyfriend in public? Gee thanks mate.” Kian sniggered but the idea of flaunting his love for one of his oldest friends and gang mates was a novelty he wasn’t often allowed to abuse. Didn’t want to affect the image of the gang by being openly gay. It was practically a sin but because the lads had been together a while before Brax took over the village, he didn’t encourage them to split up but asked them to be discrete. “Love you.” He whispered in Mark’s ear. 

Mark smiled, avoiding eye contact with Brax before turning his head to kiss his sweaty, shattered man in response to his love. “Tonight baby.” He whispered into Kian’s ear and pinched his bum cheek, promising him some action in the bedroom when they fell through the door.   
They hadn’t slept together for a few weeks now and Kian was silently frustrated about it, Mark could tell. But the brunette’s anxiety was playing awful games and sometimes the thought of getting naked scared him. Other times he was the one to instigate an embrace and Kian was far too tired to reciprocate so they’d go without. Their sex life had never been booming and Kian was patient despite having no idea why his gorgeous boy was so nervous all the time.   
“Promise.”

“So how many pairs of tits did you wrangle today Filan?” Brax changed the subject, putting pressure on Shane instead. “Managed to shift the gear so how many Sheila’s did you bag?”

“I’ve been sat in here most of the day haven’t I? But we sweet talked a few. The open shirt thing worked a treat. The gyms working... Oh here’s a couple now... Ladies, you made it.”

The two girls giggled as they walked directly to the bar, arguing over who was cuter out of Shane and Mark. The tiny, red head, 21 year old hippy swore Mark was the cutest due to his cheeky smile and big blue eyes, a tall, dark, handsome fella. Whereas her tall, curvy, cosmic blue haired, rocky friend of 26 was adamant the smaller jockey was a vision of perfection. 

Sasha, the eldest, smiled at Shane as she stood by him at the bar. “Said we’d come didn’t we?”

Brax rolled his eyes. Bit young! Felt like a cradle snatcher staring at Sasha’s cleavage, bursting from her low cut, skull vest. No good for him. He had Ricky in mind anyway if she ever admitted her attraction to the landlord. She was due in with Martha later so he refrained from lecturing them about tonight’s slim pickings. 

“What can I get you? Sasha isn’t it?” he was proud of himself for remembering as she nodded. “And Niamh?”

“Yes. Smirnoff Ice for me please.” 

Shane put his hand on Sasha’s back, ushering her closer to the front of the queue next to him. “I’ll have an Archers and Lemonade please. So we didn’t see you sunbathing.”

“Too warm for me. Been hiding in here most of the day. Don’t like the Garda burning holes in the back of my head either.”

“Ooh, bit of a naughty boy are you?” she teased, smiling like a teenager with a crush. “I love a bad boy.”

“Ha-ha, an older man too?”

“You’re not old. What are you? 30?”

“35 darling. With the stamina of an 18 year old.” He winked. 

Kian shook his head with disapproval. He felt Shane was pushing his luck this time, didn’t need some teeny bopper on his arm. A naive, young girl who only wanted him for his body and would run a mile if she knew who he really was. But she’d soon be gone. He knew how Brax worked and if he hadn’t managed to coax anyone in, Shane would suffer for it. 

As soon as Martha and Ricky arrived half an hour later, the younger totty slipped away to their own table, under the impression the ladies could be their girlfriends. Brax wished! They ordered their drinks and found their own seats though much to Darryl’s disappointment. He was leaving the bar work to Heath and his other staff now, sitting on the side-lines with a tumbler or whiskey on the rocks. Bored. 

“Turning the tunes up now. Need to liven this place up a bit.” He announced, heading into the back to turn the dial on the volume... Just as Jack and Nicky wandered in, on their last hour and half on the job. 

The boys watched as Martha jumped up to greet Nicky, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Mark was too busy sat in a booth with Kian, falling asleep on his shoulder to care about the guards. He ignored them and closed his eyes, making the most of the time he had to be coupled with his boyfriend in public. Brax’s kind moods were not to be sniffed at. 

Jack checked in with Heath, asking how their day had been and once he was happy all was well he vowed to be back later, off duty which caused a great sigh from Shane. Something was definitely stuck up his nose today but he wouldn’t explain what.   
“Cant leave us be can ye? Fancy us do ya?”

“Fancy seeing you behind bars.” Jack replied, giving him a dirty look. “Need to get laid Filan. Misery doesn’t suit you.”

“Fuck you.” He jumped down from his chair and headed for the toilet. “Prick.” He muttered under his breath as he walked passed Kian, making the blonde chuckle. 

“Big day?” the officer nodded at Mark, asking Kian. “Or drunk?”

“Too much sun I think. Sorry about Shane.” 

“Just a bit of bants lads. You should know me by now. Not looking for a fight. Glad it’s been a trouble free day for ya.”

“Cheers man.” Kian smiled and kissed Mark’s head. 

Jack had never seen the boys so close before. It surprised him despite knowing about their relationship for a long time. It was weird for him to see them enjoying some personal time. They looked happy and care free, just two of the locals trying to keep the peace. It touched his heart to see for the first time, the love and attentiveness between them. Like butter wouldn’t melt. 

Passing the lads, Nicky made his way to the little boy’s room and rocked up next to Shane by the urinals. “Evening Trigger.”

“Don’t you fucking start!” Shane scoffed, shaking his tail before tucking himself away. “Jack doesn’t even call me so don’t you bother.”

“Dude, you seriously need to take a chill pill. What’s with you?”

Shane washed his hands and deliberately used the hand drier to drown out any chance of hearing Nicky speak if he wanted to insult his mood any more. Nicky was offended though. He wanted to know why the gorgeous brunette was so hostile but knew he’d have to wait to earn his trust. 

“Just do your job new boy and mind your own fucking business. Treat Martha right that’s all.”

“She couldn’t be in safer hands. Not that it’s any of your business either.” Nicky finished relieving himself and ran his hands under the hot tap, wiping them dry on the green paper towel. “She told me you were the most normal out of the lot of ye. Not sure what her perception of normal is but if it’s you then it makes me extra special.”

“Look man... Charlie didn’t deserve to die. I get that. But I had nothing to do with it. I don’t like Jack breathing down my neck though so I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t do the same. I’m not a fucking murderer and I’m...” Just about drunk now, Shane launched his fist at the hand drier and growled at the pain he inflicted on himself just in order to release some pent up frustration. “Argh.”

“Whoa, mate, steady. Don’t make me give you a warning. Chill yeah?” Nicky placed his hand on Shane’s shoulder but was shrugged away in a second. “Maybe have a Coke or water next? Don’t wanna spoil a good day.”

“Oh aye, fucking grand.”

“Mate seriously tone down the F word. No need for it.”

When Nicky lifted his hat off to itch his sweltering hair, Shane stared at him. “Wow.” 

“What?” the blonde looked up at him, gawping like a fish. 

“Sorry, did I say that out loud? Shit. Excuse me.” Shane ran off back to his seat leaving Nicky confused. 

The way his hazel eyes had studied Nicky’s face and auburn roots, was unjustified. Why would he stare that way after the way he’d spoken all day? The cop checked his reflection in the mirror and grinned at his rosy nose but there was nothing to suggest Shane’s glare was a negative response. He didn’t want to hazard a guess as to what it was about but banked the moment and promised to confront him another day when they were alone. He wanted to get back to Martha right now and will his shift away so he could enjoy some down time with her. Jack was allowed to keep his vehicle over night if he decided to sleep at the B&B in Strandhill so he agreed to leave it at the caravan park so he could have a laugh and few pints himself but there was still the question of where they’d sleep. Martha insisted they took a spare van which sounded practical so when the time came to clock off, the boys got changed in the trailer and returned to the party.  
**

Mark was shattered. He’d been asleep on Kian’s shoulder for near on 2 hours now so the blonde took him home and vowed to be back out shortly, leaving Shane and Brax to chat up some of the other ladies the jockey encouraged to visit. Heath was charming them as he served and the atmosphere was great. No trouble so far just a sea of sunburnt faces and a few dozy heads outside on the benches, running the risk of sun stroke. Paramedics were still hanging around on the sea front but it was their time to get home too so the security of the resort was dying down. No users had been collared this time which was a blessing in a way. 

Jack and Nicky strolled into the pub as Martha stood to order another drink. The blonde insisted he got the round in as his partner sat with the girls, a sigh of relief spread over him as he finally sat down after a hot day. Reaching the end of the bar, Nicky looked around in search of the missing members. 

“Short on minions?” he asked Brax receiving an eye roll from Shane. 

“Nipped home. Mark’s exerted himself. Gets like that sometimes. So no arrests today? Not the place you thought I bet.”

“Give it time. Rather the joint be safe. Know I’m doing my job right at least.”

“Pfft!” Shane fizzed, silently shaking his head. Brax slapped him and told him to cheer up, sick of his attitude today. “Sorry!” he replied, rubbing the sting. “Another pint?” 

The landlord grinned and poured his friend another drink, taking payment and going into serve Nicky at the spare till. “What can I get you officer?”

“Call me Nicky, please. Off duty now... 2 Guinness, a white wine and whatever the blonde has.”

“Ricky? Mmm, know what she needs.” Brax gave a dirty chuckle. “Fit as fuck that one.”

Nicky laughed and looked over to compare the looks between the two very different girls. “She’s a pretty lass yeah. Sucker for brunette’s myself. Martha’s a real doll isn’t she?”

“She’s a good girl yeah. Kind of protective of her. He gets stick from a lot of people at the camp site. Sexual harassment and shit. Kian keeps an eye on her from the back of the surf club, she’s a tough cookie but she’s still a lass ya know.”

“Thanks for looking out for her. It’s good to know the community take care of each other. Got a bad reputation around these parts recently. Wouldn’t want her caught up in anything.” Nicky smiled trying not to sound too two faced. 

Shane piped up again, his face tired from all the gurning, frowns and forehead scrunches of the day. “Ha, we’re such fucking bad guys aren’t we? Bet you’re gutted you haven’t hand cuffed one of us on your first day here. Heard loads of stories I bet.”

Brax was sick of this. Shane’s mood was grating on him now and if he didn’t cheer up soon he’d find a harder fist punch him in the face than the light slap he’d already gotten. The stern look in the boss’s eyes warned him. 

Nicky saw the exchange and looked over for Shane’s timid response. He noticed a small scar on the side of the boy’s nose right where a nose ring would go. Clearly not the type to have ever pierced himself, the blonde assumed he’d been hit at some point and wondered if like Kian, it’d been inflicted by Brax. He thanked the landlord for the drinks and carried the tray over to his friends, concerned for the gorgeous man, cowering over the end of the bar. 

“Well that was intense.” Nicky murmured to Jack while the girls giggled over something. “Looks like Brax has them under his thumb.”

Jack looked up to see the landlord shove Shane into the back of the bar and pulled a confused expression. “What’s going on? Where are the lover boys?”

“Crazy has been taken home and Shane’s in a mood still. Brax seems alright to be fair. Wanting to keep the peace.”

“Yeah he’s OK when he wants to be. Comes across genuine but he’s the boss. Keeps them all in check.”

Hearing the boys talk, Ricky butted in. “Talking about Brax? He’s so hot. So strong and powerful. He could boss me around any day.” She chuckled, smiling at Martha whom she knew didn’t find the surfer attractive in the slightest.

Nicky grinned back at the blonde. “He wants to get in your knickers. He told me just now. Why don’t you ask him out?”

“Hmm... Can’t work him out yet. Not sure if he’d be worth the trouble. Nice smile though.”

“Doesn’t matter what we think honey. We’re not at work now. Jack knows him better than I do anyway.”

Martha cleared her throat and stared at Jack waiting for his opinion. “Jack thinks he knows everyone around here.”

“Only the bad guys. Brax doesn’t have a criminal record. He’s calculated and in charge but he’s not the one to get his hands dirty. Wouldn’t recommend getting involved but that’s not my choice to make. Just wouldn’t want to see you get hurt... Either of you.” He stared back at Martha as he said it and Nicky saw the smile on her face. Maybe he wasn’t paranoid after all. There was definitely something between them but he wasn’t sure he cared. 

“Excuse me. Nature calls.” Nicky slipped away and bumped into Kian coming out of the toilets. He’d come in through the back door on his return. “Sorry mate. On your own?”

“Yeah Mark’s not feeling well so I took him home to sleep it off. Finished for the day?”

“Yeah all done. Ready for a good drink. Have a good one mate.” Nicky patted his shoulder as he entered the room, surprised to see Shane staring at his reflection in the mirror, a stray tear falling down his cheek. The second he heard the door go, he wiped his face and composed himself. “Alright? Must stop meeting like this.”

“Stop following me to the men’s then you puff.”

“Whoa, come on man. What the fuck is your issue with me?”

Shane looked Nicky up and down in his trendy, blue, skinny jeans and short sleeved, ivory shirt, sunglasses propped on his head, hair styled with a small quiff. “Don’t like guards.”

“Usually a reason.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you. You don’t know me.”

“No but I see no harm in being friendly to the locals. I’m not a prick and neither is Jack. We’re just doing our jobs mate and as you can see I’m not on duty now.”

“Ha-ha and that makes all the difference does it? Brax doesn’t associated with pigs alright and neither do we.” Shane wet his fingers and wiped his face to cool down before trying to reach for the door but Nicky deliberately stood in his way to stop him. 

“We?! You Irish lads you mean? The original posse... What, is Brax controlling your life so much you can’t decide who you’re allowed to talk to anymore?”

“What?! You have no idea what you’re talking about man. Get out of my way.”

“I saw the way you looked at me earlier and just now. He doesn’t know does he?”

“Know what? What do you want from me? Just leave me alone.” Shane grumbled, suddenly anxious he was being cornered. 

“Brax is in a good mood today. His takings are sky high and cause of that he let Kian and Mark be seen together in public. Jack’s never once seen that. He’s annoyed by your bad mood...”

“He doesn’t like gays that’s all. What Kian and Mark do is kept behind closed doors.”

“I don’t believe that. I think it’s all for show. Wants to be the tough man and ensure no one brings trouble to his door so us guards aren’t around to witness the jobs you do. He doesn’t want people to think being gay is a weakness and ruin the facade of the gang’s reputation for being hard... He’s scared if his dealers and henchmen don’t fit the description, they’ll be taken advantage of and he’ll lose his side-line profits.”

“Look I’m not under arrest so I don’t have to answer to you. You think I’m a dealer? So what? Prove it. But don’t stand there and talk to me about...”

“Fine, I’m just saying... I’m sorry you’re so pent up about something. I’m pretty good at reading guys that are hiding something. I’m sorry you feel trapped.”

“Yet you’re the one stopping me from leaving the room. I’m not gonna touch you to get you out the way. Is that what you want? To wind me up so much I grab you and get myself a warning? Break us down bit by bit.”

“Mate, I’m not trying to piss you off. I’m just saying I can see it in your eyes... It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“So I can’t even look at a bloke without being accused of being gay? Fuck sake. You’ve got a high opinion of yourself. You’ve got the hottest girl in town on your arm and you’re more concerned about me giving you the eye? I’m not gay alright? And clearly neither are you.”

Nicky dropped his head and let out a long exhale through his nose as he bit his bottom lip. “OK, sorry.” 

Shane noticed the blonde’s frown and mellowed. Clenching his jaw he took a deep breath too and held one hand on his hip. “Wanna get out my way now? Or do we still have a problem?”

“Shane, I...”

“Come on man, just get out of my way. Please.” 

“Fine!” Nicky stepped aside and watched Shane open the door in the reflection of the mirror. When Shane stopped to look back their eyes met for a moment but the brunette was the first to shake his head and stroll away. “Fuck.”   
**

Everyone seemed to have a good night. Martha and Ricky drank cocktails until they were legless as the lads took it steady, not wanting a hangover the next day. The River Boys enjoyed their night too, minus Mark, laughing and joking amongst themselves, lads being lads. Nothing to report or write home about. Nicky kept a close eye on Shane all night and studied his body language around Brax. After a few more pints he appeared more relaxed but still wasn’t laughing as much as the others. 

It wasn’t until the girls headed home and Jack called it a night that Brax considered the lock in. Most of the other punters had scattered leaving just the odd local finishing up their last orders but Nicky was having a good night and didn’t want to leave. He knew he should but let Jack head back to the van alone, insisting he’d keep an eye out for half an hour on his own. Another ten minutes and he’d sneak off to the toilet while the landlord chucked out the last few stragglers. With the jukebox turned down, Heath locked up the front doors and cashed up the till, leaving the tip jar beside it for Kian to count out. He fairly shared the proceeds out into the containers marked with staff names and handed Brax the odd pound coin. 

“Thanks mate. Grab yourself whatever. On the house. It’s been a cracking day, thanks for your hard work.”

“No bother man. All to do again tomorrow. I should get back to Mark really.” Kian suggested, yawning in his state. “Don’t mind do ye?”

Brax huffed and shrugged. “Fine. We’ll have a session tomorrow. If the drugs fly like today we’ll be able to afford that vender for the surf club.”

“Clear it all Shane?” the older boy nodded. “Grand. The new cop seems pretty nice. Friendly chap.”

“Good enough for Martha?” Brax asked. “Still think she’s after Jack.”

“Bit late now she’s shagging the blonde.” Shane chipped in. “Nosey twat in my opinion.” 

Brax snapped. He’d had enough. “Right, Kian fuck off home, see you tomorrow mate... Heath!” he yelled until his brother shot through from the office. “Upstairs. I’ll finish the banking.” 

They knew this tone and so quickly dispersed leaving Shane in fear as Brax bored holes in his skull, waiting for the place to clear.   
“Explain.”

“What?” Shane stood from his stool and huffed. 

“Wanna tell me what’s hacked you off or do I have to guess?” Brax folded his arms waiting for an answer. 

“Time of the month?” Shane joked. If only it was that simple. Brax was not amused. “Nothing. Sorry.” 

“No, go on, enlighten me. Fucking sick of your attitude today man. New Gardaí and you’re talking to him like he murdered your mother.”

“Too much sun I guess. Dehydrated, tired... You know I get moody when it’s hot. There’s nothing wrong I swear. It was really good of ye to let Kian be with Mark tonight. Poor bastards torturing himself more and more every day.”

“As I told Kian earlier, I’m not a homophobe but you know the rules. I’m sorry about Charlie alright? I keep saying it but what am I supposed to do? I really liked her too. But it happened and we can’t keep dwelling in it. Jack isn’t a bad lad either so cut him some slack, he’s just doing his job. He’s useless at it but he’s trying.” He sniggered.

“I don’t trust this new guy. There’s just something about him. Too fucking cool for school or something. Did you see him earlier, flouncing around like a fucking townie? Martha giggling on his arm.”

“Shane I’m gonna warn you one more time, if you make a bitchy arsehole comment again I’m gonna deck ya. What’s your fucking problem?” he raised his voice, shoving the boys shoulder as he towered over him. “Not earning enough?! Jealous Martha won’t look at you twice? Missing the outlandish fantasy that Charlie might one day ask you out? Or just bored that this town isn’t your own anymore? Feeling inadequate to my success.”

“Not at all. It’s none of those things. I respect you for everything you’ve done around here. Business is booming, I’m happy for ye.”

“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood Filan else I’d knock seven bells of shit out of your sorry ass. I don’t do moping and woes mate so pick yourself up and stop being a miserable cunt. Deal with it and be back tomorrow ready to deal the rest. You’ve still got a debt to pay.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I was an idiot, I know that. I’ll take better care next time but you know what Mark’s like. He’s fucking hard work when he’s on one.”

“The only reason Mark hasn’t been pushed out is because I did a deal with Kian and he’s my top dog. I respect him and he’s doing a fine job with the surf club but you’re disposable Shane. You need to book your ideas up fast or you’ll find yourself in a sorry state... Fuck off home. Don’t wanna see you until lunch time tomorrow. Give your miserable face the morning off but if you don’t come in tomorrow with a sunny disposition, you’ll really have something to cry about.”

Shane swallowed the bile building up in his throat and nodded. He turned on his heels and headed for the fire exit, left open when Kian took off. The blonde hadn’t even waited to offer Shane a lift home as he jumped in the spare cab outside front. There was no guessing how long Brax would keep Shane behind or what state he’d be in after one of his little 'chats'.   
The last time he’d cornered Shane, he’d thrown a punch to his nose causing the scar Nicky noticed earlier. There’d been a scuffle during a hand over where Mark had freaked out giving the buyers ample opportunity to rob the stash out of Shane’s hand without paying for it. He’d been caught off guard and instead of chasing after the pricks that got away with 3 grams, he chose to save Mark during a panic attack and Brax was not happy with the loss. 

Slamming the door behind him, Brax shut out the last of his gang and turned off the bar lights, heading off to finish the cashing up. Falling to the floor in an outburst of tears, Shane slid down the brick wall and held his hands over his head, his face covered in his arms as his knees drew close to his chest. Little did he know Nicky had been listening from the toilets and slid out the exit after Kian had left to hear from there. 

“Mate you alright?” Nicky whispered, appearing from the darkness behind the dumpster. 

Shane jumped as he looked up and noticed the same stylist jeans he’d seen earlier. “Oh fuck, not you!” 

“What’s going on? Are you alright?”  
Nicky crouched down to his side and placed his hand over one of Shane’s ankles, the other stroking the back of his head until he was batted away.

“Get the hell off me. Just get lost will ye?” 

Nicky gave him the space he needed to calm down but refused to leave him alone in the cold, darkness of the coast. The wind was bitter now and even Nicky was feeling the chill. “Shane, I’m not here as a cop. Just a friendly guy asking if you’re OK.”

“Well clearly I’m not but you’re the last person I wanna talk to.” He sniffed, wiping his snot and tears down the cuff of his sleeve. “Please just mind your own business.”

“He let you off with a warning right?” Shane didn’t reply, staring off into the distance. “Look I heard everything, I’m not gonna lie but I’m not here to arrest you for dealing. We know what you’re doing but it’s not what we’re after.”

“Cop talk, great. You won’t get a confession from me. Uniform or no uniform.”

“Don’t need it. Already know it... Mate, come on, stand up, it’s freezing out here. Let’s move away so he can’t hear us.” 

“Get lost.” 

Nicky sighed and walked away towards the car in the near distance to pull out a jacket from the boot. He looked over his shoulder to check Shane was still there and grabbed a spare fleece Jack had left. He pulled on his own coat and wandered back over towards the broken boy now climbing to his feet, unsteady as he got his footing. 

“Here, wear this. Don’t want you catching a cold.”

The kindness in Nicky’s eyes could be seen as the security light shone down on him. Reluctantly Shane took the jacket and hugged himself to get warm. “Thanks I suppose.”

“This way.” Nicky lead him round the side of the row of buildings back onto the main road, taking a turn onto the sea front where the moon shimmered on the midnight waves crashing against the rocks. “Beautiful night despite the chill.”

“Oh, you a fucking romantic now? Think yourself a midnight hero?”  
Shane sniggered, shaking his head at the blonde staring at the horizon where the dark Atlantic Ocean met the night sky. Stars twinkling above the offshore wind turbines and oil rig in the far distance.   
“Shouldn’t you be asleep ready to protect and serve again tomorrow?”

“I’m fine. Enjoying the cool breeze after sweating all day. Can’t serve with my shirt open like you.”

Shane smirked as he stared at the cute profile of the Gardaí glowing under the street light. He seemed to have calmed a bit now. “Attracts the girls.”

“For you or Brax?... Sorry. None of my business right?”

“For Brax.” Shane mumbled, dropping his chin to his chest. “Dunno why. He’s only interested in Ricky. Not that she’ll ever give him a chance. She saw him punch me a few weeks ago.”

“The scar? Thought as much. You don’t have to tell me why. Probably best I don’t know.”

“Yeah... He’s not a bad guy really. Just has a reputation to uphold. Deserved it anyway.” He huffed, leaning his back against the wall. “Should probably call a cab now though been as Kian fucked off without me.”

“Live far?”

“Scarden. Same road as Martha. Kian and Mark share a room and I live with them. Used to have a flat of my own in Sligo then we rented here in Strandhill for a while but after Mark was... Dunno... He wanted to move again. Could walk I suppose. Takes about an hour.”

“Is it safe?”

“Aye. Sometimes get picked up by a cab half way. Most of them recognise me from doing it every time I’ve spent up and can’t afford the full fare. Easy enough to hop on the bus during the day. Don’t drive much to be honest.”

“Let me shout you a cab. No strings. That’s Jack’s coat and he won’t be best pleased I’ve given it to a River Boy to borrow and you can’t walk all that way without something on your shoulders.”

“Why do you care?” Shane asked, arms folded to his chest, shivering as the breeze gave him brain freeze. “I’m one of the bad guys.”

“Are you?!” Nicky gazed at the shaking, emotional beaut beside him. “You don’t come across as a tough guy to me. Too many tears and tantrums in one day.” He teased with a grin.

“Hmm... I am what I have to be.”

Nicky could see the hurt in Shane’s eyes. He wasn’t who he wanted to be and it was written all over his face. “Who do you want to be?”

“Not this... Huh, I need to get back. Here, have the jacket, it’s fine, I can...” he began to take off the only thing keeping him from catching his death but Nicky grabbed his arm and shook his head.

“No, please. Just keep it on for now. I’ll call you a taxi.” As Nicky pulled out his mobile to call for a lift Shane sank back down to the floor. Holding his knees to his chest again to ball up in an attempt to keep warm. “Mate, get up.” He sighed but hung up the call before it connected. “Fine. Come on.”

“What? Where are you going?”

“To the car. Can’t drive you anywhere but it’s warmer. Come on will ya.” 

Shane didn’t like to argue with the guards even if they weren’t on the clock and he was desperate so he took a chance and followed the new guy, trusting and hoping it wasn’t a trap to get him in the car to drive him to the station. Putting his mind at ease, Nicky sat in the back seat with him, passing a picnic blanket over Shane’s legs in an attempt to warm him up. He didn’t want to turn on any lights or the heater in the car in case Jack noticed from their caravan but it was far enough away not to be noticed through the dark tinted glass. He poured the last dregs of coffee from a flask he’d made that morning and offered it to Shane. 

“No sugar, sorry.”

“Thanks. Just the heat is good enough.” He smiled, feeling slightly more comfortable but still nervous of Nicky’s true intensions. He held the cup with both hands and sniffed the warm steam before sipping, keeping his eyes on Nicky the whole time. “Think there’s a spare van I can doss in?” he joked.

“We took the last one, sorry... Not that I condone you squatting of course.” Nicky smirked. 

“Make a habit of picking up drunks off the street?”

“Only vulnerable young lasses staggering the streets of Dublin at 3 in the morning when I was on lone patrol. Wanted to get them home safe. Less paperwork.” He chuckled. 

“You think I fit that description? River Boys don’t come under vulnerable as far as Brax is concerned. Except maybe Mark but he can hold his own when he’s not fitting.”

“Telling me you’re fit to walk home?! Don’t think so mate.” 

Shane enjoyed the sensation of the hot liquid trickle down his throat. He closed his eyes and relaxed into his seat as his legs slowly warmed up under the blanket before catching Nicky’s smile. “Thanks though... I am a bit drunk I suppose.”

“Don’t tell anyone. Jack will kill me if he finds out. He wants you all strung up, he just knows he has to hold out for the real culprit.”

“Rest assured it’s not me. I’ve never hurt anyone... Not in my nature.”

“I can tell... Feeling warmer?”

“Yeah... Bit dizzy but I’ll be fine... So what do you think of county Sligo so far? Got yourself a hot chick already, can’t be bad.”

“Ha, the hot chick that’s pining after my partner you mean? I heard what you lads said. I saw for myself today anyway... We’re not together properly. It’s just casual.” Nicky frowned, showing something other than jealousy. “Sligo’s alright. Calmer than Dublin.”

“Never been myself. Bit of a home boy to be honest. Would be nice to fly the nest though... Not that I have a choice right now.”

“Brax?”

Shane shrugged not wanting to give too much away. There wasn’t much reason to trust Nicky yet despite his kindness tonight. “It’s complicated.”

“Right.” Nicky nodded, biting the inside of his cheek, unsure what to say exactly without coming across as interrogating or fishing for a slip up. “About earlier... In the men’s.”

“Argh, Nicky just drop it, please.” 

“No, listen to me. I’m not at work now, this is nothing to do with the River Boys, it’s just between you and me. It’s personal.”

“I don’t do personal with strangers man. I don’t know you, I’m not gonna...”

Nicky took the empty cup from Shane’s hand and popped it back on the flask before resting his palms on the brunette’s knee atop the blanket. “Shane, seriously... I’m not going to judge ye... I know what you’re hiding.”

“You know I’m a drug mule, I’m not hiding anything else.”

“Really?! You think I’m just some pretty boy cop with a hot bird on his arm? Is that how you see me? Because that’s not who I am. I’m not an angel either mate. I’ve done some pretty bad shit in my time and I’ve blamed it all on who I really am and can’t be.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Shane turned his head to look out the window beside him, nothing but a dark pathway out of the vicinity. 

“Who are you hiding from? And I don’t mean the Garda. Who makes you feel you can’t be who you want to be?”

“No one. This is who I am. A River Boy. That’s it. That’s my life.” Shane raised his voice and shot a look of despair Nicky’s way. 

“I see passed that and I’ve only known you a day... I saw it in your eyes Shane. Just admit it to me at least.” He squeezed his hands on the guy’s leg and begged with his eyes. “I won’t tell anyone.”

“Why does it matter to you who I am?” he finally brushed the hands away and pulled the cover higher up his chest. “Touch all your victims do ye?”

Nicky sighed and sat back, raising his brow. “Sorry... I know it won’t make a difference but sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone that understands.”

“How could you possibly begin to understand the position I’m in without me incriminating myself? We’re not friends, you’re not a counsellor. I don’t need to admit anything to you. In fact you’re the last person I would... Look, I’m grateful for you helping me out but I want to go home.”

“Shane I’m sorry I pushed you, I...”

“No, just let me out. I need to go.” He tried to open the door but of course there was no way out. Nicky would need to climb in the front to get out and open the door for him. He soon realised this and broke down in tears again, covering his face with the collar of Jack’s coat. “Please just let me go.”

“Mate, please... I can’t drive you and I’m not letting you walk. You’re a mess.”

“Nicky!” he seethed, banging his head against the front passenger seat several times while thumping the back of it as he growled. 

“OK, calm down. Gees. Are you all fucking mental?” Nicky grabbed Shane’s wrist to stop him in his rage but it suddenly calmed the brunette. “Hey... It’s alright.”

“No it’s not alright. How is any of this right? If I’m seen in the back of your cab, I’m fucked. If Jack sees you, you’re fucked. I don’t want to talk to you, just let me go home... I can’t do this.”

“Do what? Talk to me, I wanna understand. I’m not going to use it against you or arrest you mate. I’m just trying to be nice and make friends. I wanna help you.” He held Shane’s arms down to his lap and leaned in closer. “Breathe... Just talk to me and I’ll call in a favour. Get you a ride home in an unmarked vehicle.”

“I am not getting in the car with another copper, are you crazy?”

“Whatever then just... Stop being afraid. I know it hurts but... Maybe you saying it will give me the courage too.”

“Bullshit. You’re not... Can’t be.”

“Cant be what? Gay? Why because I’m a guard with a girlfriend, like it makes all the fucking difference? You’re a fucking River Boy but it doesn’t stop you feeling attracted to men does it? No matter what that prick tells you to do.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” Shane looked into Nicky’s eyes, not far from his own and tried to stifle his tears. “What is it to you if I’m gay or not?”

“Nothing, I just... You’re under the thumb as it is and if admitting this one thing makes the load lighten then why not?”

“Think it’ll help get you closer to the truth right? Think you can use me for information to crack your fucking case?”

“No! You’re as bad as Martha... OK, I’m gay. There I said it. I’m a closet puff guard alright and I have to live with that every single day, pretending to like women so my partner and colleagues don’t put me on shit duties because being a bent cop means you’re on the bottom rung forever.”

Shane calmed his breathing and looked confused. “You’re gay?!”

“Telling me you’re not? I saw the way you were eying me up today. Felt amazing to be looked at like that by a man. I’ve only slept with Martha twice and each time I had to pretend I was enjoying it but it made me feel sick.”

“You’re beautiful Nicky, I just couldn’t hide it... But it was a relapse. I can’t act upon it with anyone. It’s girls or nothing for me. Not even Kian and Mark know.”

“They don’t need to know. Brax doesn’t need to know. I just needed to so I could finally know that what I saw in your eyes was real... You’ve got an amazing smile Shane. You should use it more often.”

“Can’t... Not much to smile about right now. Got another drop to do tomorrow to pay off the debt... Huh fuck why did I just tell you that? Fuck sake.”

Nicky reached to hold Shane’s neck and drew him in, holding the shaking hand of the terrified jockey up to his chest. “I wanna help. We’re not interested in arresting you for dealing OK, don’t worry about that. As long as no one else reports it happening, we’ll turn a blind eye. I know you’re not gonna tell me where it’s from and that’s fine too but I don’t want you to get hurt because you’re punishing yourself. I know you’re not the bad guy Shane.”

“So what’s the point in me telling you I’m gay? What difference does it make?” 

“I know I’m not the only gay in the village frightened of losing everything if the secret comes out?” he chuckled, making Shane smile. He was still holding the boy close and Shane wasn’t batting an eyelid. “For the record I think you’re gorgeous too.”

“Should be grateful I didn’t get glassed like Kian. Not that he was much to look at before.” He laughed. “But Mark loves him.”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone or use it against you if you give me the same respect. At least now when you smile at me I can feel like I’m on the right track. Might be a fucking bumpy one but knowing someone as fit as you looks at me that way... Just a smile that’s all I want.”

“You’re stunning Nicky. I was so angry I couldn’t even look at you in case Brax sensed the attraction. I haven’t been with anyone for 3 years and even then it was a one night stand. Told the lads it was a women too. Ironic really. Never slept with a woman in my life. Suppose I’m still a virgin in that respect. Didn’t sleep with a bloke until I was 25. Too fucking scared to admit I was that way. No one knows... Only you.” 

“I understand mate, I really do.”

“I’m terrified Nicky. I’m scared of my own shadow sometimes.” Shane finally felt safe enough to open up but only because the alcohol in his system gave him the confidence or stupidity to do so, he wasn’t sure which yet. “It was easy before Darryl and Heath turned up. Yeah we were dicks but everything is so controlled now. Have to put on this front most of the time just to make people believe we’re not the pricks everyone makes us out to be.”

“What hold does he have over you?”

“Cant say. Can’t talk about it, sorry.” Shane sighed and closed his eyes, squeezing Nicky’s hand. “Guess it’ll all be over soon when you work everything out. Just gotta ride it out so we don’t get hurt.”

“You saying it’ll be Brax that gets put away?”

“No... I’m not saying anything. Stop putting words into my mouth. You’re trying to trick me...”

“Hey, I’m not, I swear. I’m sorry, I’ll shut up. What happened to Charlie is massive but I believe you had nothing to do with it. Just trust me when I say we’re going to do everything we can to bring down the bastard that did this... Just tell me one thing.”

“Depends what it is?”

“Tell me you don’t take the filth you sell.”

“I don’t. Never touched a drug in my life. Not that way anyway. Don’t even know what’s in it. Just know it’s killed a few people somewhere down the line but doesn’t prove its any I’ve sold on. The supplier runs out of town too.”

“Really?!” This was new information and it killed Nicky that he couldn’t use it now. “Fuck... Stop talking mate.”

“What did I... Shit. I thought you knew.” Shane sat back and covered his mouth with his hands, watching Nicky sigh and rub his face in disbelief. “Surely that’s obvious?”

“Not to me. All the... I can’t discuss this with you. Just forget you said anything. I’ll find a way to suggest it myself. Think maybe you should go now. I’ll ring that taxi for ya.” 

“Nicky please don’t bring me into this. I didn’t mean to say anything. I don’t know who they are, I’ve never seen them, I don’t know their names, that’s all I know I swear.”

“Just, shut up!... Hi can I get a cab from the surf club please... Soon as... Scarden... Yeah cheers mate, bye... It’s on its way. Give me the jacket.”

“Nicky...”

“Just leave the jacket alright!” Nicky shouted as he climbed into the front to get out of the car. He opened the back passenger door for Shane to climb out and locked the doors after reaching in to toss the coat and blanket into the boot. “Sorry... Come on. I’ll pay it up front.” 

Shane was back to shaking like a leaf within seconds as they walked across the car park to wait for the taxi. Neither boy knew what to say and the air was full of awkward silence. Shane’s teeth chattered as he shuffled on the spot trying to keep his circulation going. Probably had sun stroke but hadn’t thought much about it before, thinking he’d spent enough time indoors.

“Gonna be sick.” He warned, spinning round to spew his guts up over the wall into a space between the boulders. “Shit... Sorry.”

“Marvellous!” Nicky huffed. “Are you OK?” he asked with some concern without looking over his shoulder at the mess. 

“Ugh, Christ. I’m never sick, sorry. God I’m so fucking cold.” 

When Nicky noticed the goose bumps and prickly hairs on Shane’s chest and neck he could tell the bloke was ill. It wasn’t that cold. Nicky was fine in his jacket so couldn’t understand how Shane could be so frozen in his long sleeve shirt. Taking pity on the man vomiting his liqueur over the rocks, he took off his coat and hung it over Shane’s shoulders. 

“Here. Piss head.” He chuckled. “Finished yet? Cabbie won’t let you in if he sees you being sick.”

“Thanks. This isn’t normal. I’m never sick from drinking. Must be coming down with something. I’m so cold.” Shane slipped his arms into Nicky’s jacket and blew into his cupped hands to try and warm his fingers. The leather jacket didn’t quite fit to zip up but it took the sharpness of the wind off his shirt. 

“Mate you look fucking terrible. Are you gonna be OK?”

“Have to be. Need to work tomorrow.” He coughed, starting to feel short of breath. “Fuck, I’m dizzy.” Shane stumbled back against the wall holding his head. This was no drunkenness, he felt genuinely ill. “Don’t think I can...” 

The taxi head lights shone straight at him, blinding him from up close but Nicky wasn’t sure what was best. He knew Shane would be charged a bomb for being sick in the car and wasn’t sure he’d make it back without fainting either so he apologised to the driver and paid him for his trouble, waving him off again. 

“What’s going on? I need to get home. I’m sick.” 

“Shut up and get back in my car. Breathe a fucking word about this and we’re both dead. Get in the back and do not be sick. If you think you’re gonna be, shout and I’ll stop.” Nicky turned the keys in the ignition and took a risk, slowly driving Shane home himself knowing full well he was over the limit. But who was going to stop him as long as he drove with caution and didn’t hit anything? It was only 5 minutes down the road in the car, a straight run. No one would even see. Nicky knew there was no other bobbies covering the area right now so he didn’t expect to be caught.

Thankfully he got there safe after remembering what road Martha lived on. He hoped she was tucked up in bed and didn’t see him pull up. He didn’t need 20 questions in the morning. 

“You OK mate?” Nicky looked at Shane through the rear view mirror and saw him panting. “Think you can make it to the front door? Can’t really stick around.”

Shane nodded in silence, taking a deep breath. “Open the door.”

Nicky climbed out the driver’s seat but left his door ajar so not to wake people with constant slamming. “Get some sleep yeah?”

“Thanks for the lift buddy. Promise you won’t repeat anything I said?” he stumbled onto the path outside his house, trying to catch his balance but looking more like a surfing mime.

Nicky was really anxious someone would see but figured the only people he needed to worry about the escort was Mark, Kian or Martha. And they all seemed to be tucked up in darkness already. Jumping to his side to hold him up, he threw his hand around the brunette’s back and placed his other hand on his chest. So toned. So sexy.

“Anyone asks, you walked home. Anyone says they saw the car, it wasn’t me. As far as I’m concerned I haven’t seen you since leaving the pub... Just get inside and look after yourself. Hope you’re feeling better in the morning.”

“Got until lunch to sort myself out I suppose... Thanks Nicky... And sorry for being a prick.”

“Best not to change too much over night. Don’t make anyone suspicious. Just hang in there mate. I’ll get you out of this mess as soon as I can. All 3 of you.”

“You’re a top bloke officer.” Shane grinned as Nicky stopped him at the front door he’d been pointed to. “Fucking diamond geezer you are... Stunning.”

“Yeah well... In another life maybe we’d be in bed together right now but that’s not gonna happen so just forget it now. I think you’re gorgeous too but that’s as far as it goes. Maybe cover your chest tomorrow though. Not sure I’ll be able to keep my eyes off you again.”

Shane blushed as the porch light turned on, desperate to hug Nicky to say thanks but instead gave an awkward smile and stuck the key in the door. “Night mate.”

“Yeah... Night.”  
**


	2. Chapter 2

6:52am and his alarm was still bleeping. Jack was sipping on his morning coffee while pruning his locks in the mirror unaware how late it was getting until he checked his watch. 

“Nick, get up!” he shouted through the bedroom door. “Only got an hour.” 

Appearing from his slumber on a crappy bed only 2 thirds the size of a normal single, Nicky rubbed his eyes as he yawned, his hair in every direction but down with a hand print on his cheek where he’d laid on it.   
“Morning.” He croaked with a squint. 

“Wow do you always look that rough in a morning?” Jack laughed, looking perfectly handsome with his styled brown hair and clean shaven face.

“Piss off, no! Just didn’t get much sleep on that bed. Wish I’d gone home now. Could murder a Maccies though.”

“Do you a deal. I’ll drive over to Sligo now and get us breakfast if you do me a favour and let me skunk off for an hour’s lunch today.”

“Sure, why?”

“I need the car. I need to nip into Sligo and grab my mam a birthday present. Totally forgot about it and I’m heading straight there after work tonight.”

“Ha-ha course. Go on then. Sausage and egg McMuffin meal for me. You shout me and I’ll cover drinks and snacks later. Cheers mate.” Nicky patted Jack on the back and turned into the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash some cold water over his face to wake up. 

He wasn’t expecting his first thought of the day to be on Shane. Not when his girlfriend was knocking on the caravan door 2 minutes after his partner left. She bought him a large coffee from the luxury vending machine in her office, having arrived 5 minutes ago herself. She hated doing the morning shift and felt a little hungover herself but was happy to see Nicky looking as rough as he felt. 

“You’re a god send sweetheart, thanks.” He kissed her cheek and sipped the drink before reaching for his work shirt. 

“Everything go OK when we left last night?”

“Yeah, Brax closed up in the end. No lock in. Saw off Kian and Shane and just had a walk on the beach myself.”

“Ah good. Sleep well?”

“No offence but not really. Much prefer my own bed. You?”

“Like a baby. Totally flaked out the second I got in. Ricky stayed at mine in the end. Let her crash on the sofa.”

'Shit. Hope she didn’t hear the car.’   
“Cool. Um, thanks for the coffee sweetie but I really should get ready. Jack’s gone for breakfast and I need to fill my notebook before he gets back so he doesn’t notice I didn’t bother last night.” 

“Oh of course. Sorry. I’ll catch you at lunch maybe?”

Her hopeful smile so was beautiful he couldn’t resist sharing a cuddle. “Sure thing.” 

Channelling his desire to snog Shane, he leaned in and kissed the girl. Holding her chin between his fingers with one hand and resting his soft hand on her slim waist with the other. Imagining Shane’s lips upon his own, his tongue exploring his minty fresh mouth. It was different this way and it didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Wow, you’ve never kissed me like that before.”

“Really?! Oh...”

“It was nice.” Martha’s face lit up with the feeling their relationship was suddenly more meaningful than before. She thought maybe he’d thought about their conversation the day before and he was proving how much he liked her. “Just wasn’t expecting it that’s all.” 

“Yeah, sorry. Not sure where that came from.” He chuckled, slightly embarrassed. “Have a good day sweets.”

“Mmm well I will now.” She grinned ear to ear. “Bye.” 

Nicky smiled and saw her out but the second she was gone he kicked the wooden skirting on the sofa surround and growled. “Fucking idiot.” He cussed himself for leading her on even more. 

The last thing he wanted was to hurt the sweet lass so he tried to shrug it off and ignore his thoughts about Shane’s gorgeous smile and how he might be feeling when he woke up. It was hours before the jockey would rock up and he needed to forget the night before, treating all the boys like the criminals they were. He was hoping to meet Mark properly today though and see what everyone was talking about. Was he really this crazy schizophrenic everyone made him out to be?!  
**

It was much like the day before, sunny and busy but there seemed to be more families today. Maybe because there was entertainment on the beach, local musicians playing for half an hour every so often in between competitions. The atmosphere was buzzing and Kian was doing a grand job of sweet talking parents into signing themselves and children up for lessons. He knew it’d make Brax proud and he didn’t want to be in Shane’s position, a threat of black eyes and an extended debt to pay off. He usually was top dog though and knew as long as he kept his nose clean, Mark would still be welcome in the gang too. 

Sweet, broken Mark. Probably the shyest and most timid person you could meet on a bad day; before shit hit the fan and he screamed away the painful memories. On a good day though he was life and soul of the party, friendly, jokey, generous. Thankfully after hours of sleep he was feeling refreshed and even got up early with Kian to give him a morning wank after breaking his promise the night before. He jumped in the car and helped open up the club before finding a spot on the beach to sunbathe and people watch. The pub wasn’t due to open until 10am so he grabbed a bacon butty from the burger van and chilled on his own for a while, feeling more positive about his day. 

Shane rolled out of bed at 11:30am feeling like the world had fallen out his arse, or up through his stomach at least. Unsure what had brought on his sickness he washed his face with regret over the night before and hoped Nicky didn’t give him any bother when he got to the carnival. After downing a can of red bull and stuffing his face with Frosties he slipped into his skinny jeans and tucked a palm tree patterned white shirt into his waistband, leaving the top 2 buttons undone and his arms exposed; his biceps bursting at the seams of the short sleeves. With perfect spikes in his gelled hair and a pair of spiffy sunglasses on his face he picked up his denim jacket and car keys, making his way to 'work'.  
As he pulled out onto the main road he saw the cop car cruise passed towards Sligo but couldn’t tell who was in the driving seat. Either he didn’t have to see Nicky straight away or Jack wouldn’t be around to throw bitchy comments at him. He wasn’t sure which he’d prefer. 

Taking the early shift, Heath worked behind the bar as Brax hung around with Kian for a few hours, watching the attempts of novices ride the waves in-between encouraging more members to sign up. He was in a better mood than the day before but kept checking his watch to see how late Shane was going to be.   
Pulling up behind the pub in his black Vectra sport, Shane checked his hair again in the rear view mirror but stopped what he was doing when he noticed the Gardaí kissing Martha. His heart sank. He knew he could never be that close to the fit cop but he was jealous all the same. A part of him wanted to protect her from getting hurt by his lies and the other wanted to take Nicky for himself and throw him into the toilet cubicle for a passionate liaison. Both would get him into trouble and gain enemies so he swallowed his pride and climbed out of the motor, slamming the door behind him in a huff. 

“I could get used to this.” Martha smiled as she held Nicky’s hips, licking her lips after another sexy snog. 

“Mmm, you’re a great kisser darling... But I need to get to work. No rest for the wicked.” He grinned with a wink as Shane approached the back door of the pub to check in. 

“Don’t mind me officer.” Shane smirked, waking by, giving Martha a salute and wink. “Morning babe.”

“Morning Filan.” She blushed with a giggle. “Erm, Brax is at the club by the way. He said to let you know.”

“Oh OK, great, thanks sweetheart.” Shane smiled and turned on his heels to change direction. 

Nicky watched his cute little ass walk away but his stare was so obvious. “Nicky? Shane isn’t a bad guy you know. He’s really nice when you get to know him.”

“I’m sure that’s what he wants you to think.” He broke his gaze and kissed her cheek before standing back ready to follow. “Catch you later.” 

Martha rolled her eyes and got back to work, checking in the new campers as Nicky took long strides to catch up with Shane down the path. Slapping his hand on the boy’s shoulder, he leaned in and whispered in his ear causing him to stop. 

“Disappointed you’re covered up after all Filan.” 

But then he kept walking, giving him no time to respond with words leaving Shane with a barrage of come backs, some flirty, others bitchy after seeing the blonde with his tongue down a girl’s throat. He watched Nicky stroll onto the street without looking back and shook his head as Brax jumped to his side, breaking out of his daydream. 

“You made it then? Feeling better? Kian said he heard you throwing up when you got in.”

“Yeah I’m fine now. Needed the lie in though so thanks. Ready to roll now. Where’s Marky?” Brax pointed down at Mark laid in the sand. “Right. So what’s the quota?”

“6 grams. I’d get on with it now while Jack isn’t around. Saw him take off about 5 minutes ago.”

“Yeah saw him pass on the main road. Drove in today.”

“Good. Leave the stash in the car then. Heads up, the guy in the green shirt over there is after some. He keeps pestering Mark so get on it. The guards over there keep pointing so be vigilant.” 

“Course. It’s in the safe yeah?” he got the nod and took off to collect his first drop. 

Nicky wandered over to the security guards eying up Mark and asked what the craic was. “Yeah he’s one of them. Wouldn’t worry, I’ve got my eye on him. He’s harmless.”

“Hot spot for dealing.” The older chap said, pointing out the obvious.

“Trust me it’s all part of the case. We’re on it. Leave it with me. Plus he’s not right in the head so don’t provoke him, its under control.”

“It’s your neck officer!” he sighed, nudging his partner to walk away in the opposite direction. 

Nicky sighed as he noticed the man in green approach Mark again, looking rather impatient and annoyed. He saw Mark stand up to the man’s level and get irate but just as he was about to take a walk down to prevent a fight breaking out, Shane appeared, chasing down the beach to break up a potential bust up. Watching like a hawk, Nicky slowly edged towards the opening of the wall as Shane tried talking to the bloke, shoving his hand away from Mark. The last thing Nicky wanted was for security to shove their noses in so he began to make his way towards them himself, trying to act natural but in an instant, the chav was seen throwing a punch in Mark’s direction so Nicky picked up the pace and ran to intervene. 

“Lads! Chill, this is a family event.”

Shane held Mark back and asked if he was alright as his bottom lip bled. “Yeah I’m fine. Fucking prick.” He spat at the man. 

“You... Fuck off. Don’t wanna see you on the beach again, got it?” Nicky lightly pushed the boy away, pointing to the main road. “You OK mate?” he asked Mark, dabbing the blood away with his wrist. “Wanna tell me what that was about? Noticed him harassing you all morning.”

“Gee, as if you don’t know.” Mark grumbled, still not looking up at the new cop. 

“He’s fine thanks.” Shane smiled. “Never seen him before like.”

“Looked off his head to me. After gear was he?” Nicky had to at least pretend to sound like he was doing his job. 

“Course not!” Mark quickly denied it but had no real excuse for the incident. “Don’t touch the stuff.”

Nicky grinned at Shane and gave him an eye roll which caused the jockey to mouth the words Thank You. “Maybe you should go clean up. Stay away from that bloke right?”

Mark nodded, keeping his head down as he tried to avoid being seen by Brax as he sneaked into the pub toilets to wash his face, leaving his blanket and cans of beer on the beach beside Shane. 

“First customer was he?” Nicky asked. 

“Maybe.” Shane kicked the sand around his feet unable to look the guard in the eye now. “Where’s Jack anyway?”

“On lunch. Lucky for you. Need to sell to him or what?”

“Can probably get away without. Plenty of other people around.” Shane took a seat on the blanket and stared at the band on the little stage not far away, playing typical Irish folk music. “Should have left me to it.”

“He punched Mark. I had to be on the scene. I know I said I won’t bat an eyelid at the exchanges Shane but I’ve still got to do my job and letting a fight break out on...”

“OK fine. Thank you.” Shane huffed before laying down under the beautiful sunshine, his hands behind his head, tensing his arms. He looked up at Nicky and smirked. 

“Feeling better today?”

“Yeah til I got here and saw you eating Martha’s face for lunch... Wanted to throw up again.”

Nicky licked his lips and sniggered. “Gotta keep her sweet haven’t I?!”

“She’s a top lass Nicky. I don’t want to see her upset.”

“Jealous?”

Shane laughed and shook his head, sitting up on his elbows. “What would be the point in that, straight boy? Just get on with your job... Officer Byrne.” Shane gave him a dirty look before settling back down to wait for Mark. 

Hearing the tone in Shane’s voice hurt Nicky. He’d just helped the boys out instead of blaming them like Jack would have and the thanks he gets is a bitter, brush off. “Keeping up the tough boy act doesn’t work when there’s no one around to listen. Don’t take my kindness for granted Shane. I’m still a cop and you’d do well to remember that.”

“You threatening me?!” Shane lifted his shades and squinted at Nicky’s unimpressed face. “We’re not friends. You don’t have to protect us from scum like him when we’re the bad guys. Wouldn’t want your authenticity to be noticed.”

“C’mon mate. I told you last night...”

“Nothing happened last night remember? So you’re gonna let us get away with dealing, so what? Doesn’t fucking help anyone does it? You’re just a bent copper, using the hottest chick in town, pretending to be someone you’re not so you can be a fucking hero.”

“What the fuck is your problem?! I helped you out man. If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t be sunning it up today. You’d be laid in a ditch covered in your own vomit, dying of hyperthermia. Why are you being such a brat?” Clearly Nicky thought his confession the night before would have mellowed the boy but something was telling him now that Shane wasn’t about to become friends with the Gardaí after slipping up on details already. “Worried if you’re caught smiling at me your secret will be out?” 

“Which secret is that? It’s just easier we don’t talk to each other. Brax isn’t stupid. Just leave me alone man, do yourself a favour. The less you know about me the better.” Shane turned on his side to ignore him so Nicky huffed, leaning down to grab the last 2 cans of beers and spitefully took them away. “Hey, they’re Mark’s.” He shouted. “Since when was it illegal in this country to drink in public places?!”

“Want 'em? Come and get them River Boy!” Nicky laughed as he passed Mark on his way back to the van to stick the beers in the fridge for later. 

Shane was right, there was no law stating he couldn’t consume alcohol in public and it infuriated him that Nicky could be so petty. When Mark asked why his beers had been pinched he huffed. “Little fucking prick. Heard too many rumours I reckon. Pissed off he can’t pin anything on us so he’s being spiteful.”

“Did he frisk you?”

“He wouldn’t fucking dare lay a finger on me. He knows we’re dealers Mark. He’s just under instruction not to waste time on us when they’re looking at the bigger picture.”

“Stealing my beer though? Bastard. I’ll be sure Brax doesn’t give him a courtesy pint later. So, are we doing this drop or what?”

Shane nodded as he kept his eye on Nicky disappearing into the distance, wishing he hadn’t spoken down to him in his jealous frustration. He desperately wanted to apologise, scared stiff he’d blow his cover, not convinced anyone would believe him if he then tried to out Nicky too. Maybe he had opened his mouth too much last night but he’d seen a caring side to the blonde newbie and if the pretty cop wanted to protect him from Brax purely because they had a closet in common, maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing. The only person that could protect him from Brax was Nicky.  
**

When a kafuffle broke out between a group of lads later in the afternoon, Nicky and Jack were on the scene straight away. Took them the good part of 2 hours to settle the fight, separate the offenders, call for back up and have the worse of them shipped off to the cop shop in Sligo. It kept them occupied in order for Shane and Mark to whip round the crowds and sell off the rest of their gear, going unnoticed and were then able to enjoy the rest of the sunshine outside the pub, getting drunk themselves. 

Before they knew it, it was 7:45pm and Kian was on his way to the land of no return, knocking back bottle after bottle of Budweiser to catch up with the lads. He was Brax’s favourite person right now and with the boy’s successful afternoon, Mark was beaming he’d found an extra few bob in his back pocket. Heath and Brax were off god knows where, probably drumming up more potential drug business now they had gotten away with so many drops and Shane had encouraged the movement. He hadn’t mentioned Nicky’s admission of ignorance towards dealing but Brax was confident on his own understanding his pushers were vigilantly getting away with it. 

Getting up to grab the next round as Shane got up to the toilet, Kian left Mark guarding their table unaware Nicky had clocked off early. Jack was desperate to get to his mum’s house so the blonde insisted he was fine to take off and he’d get a cab home himself later on or stay at Martha’s. But the beautiful babe was shattered and apologised for shooting off home to bed, still hungover herself from the night before, leaving the off duty guard to his own devices. 

He looked around the busy beer garden trying to find a seat but with the weather still bright and warm, no one seemed to be in a rush to get home after the fun festivities. Seeing Mark alone, he shuffled through the crowds to perch on the edge of the bench, catching the Irish boy’s eye. 

“How’s the lip?”

Mark took a quick glance at Nicky and smiled. “Not bad thanks but think you owe me 2 cans of beer you twat.” Ordinarily he wouldn’t name call a copper but as he was off duty he figured he might get away with it if he said it with a cheeky grin. 

“Ha-ha, still in my bag. Sorry.” 

“Suppose your bag is in the cop car Jack’s gone home in.”

“No but my bag’s still in the caravan with my uniform. Martha lent me the space until morning... So did you get your job done?” he asked casually, looking down at the tipsy brunette. “I’m not stupid mate. As I told Shane, your dealing isn’t on my radar. Just making conversation.”

“Why?! Not exactly a normal ice breaker. You interested or something?”

“Course not ha-ha. Haven’t got a death wish ya know. Where is everyone?”

“Bar. Not sure they’ll welcome you to join us on return. Brax would go ape shit for a start.” He huffed, looking away to seem uninterested if anyone came outside.

“Shame. You seem like my kinda lads. New in town and repelling the masses.” Nicky grinned. “But I respect the circumstances so have a good night yeah?” he patted Mark’s shoulder and wandered to the bar to get himself a drink and check in with Brax.

Kian nodded at the blonde as he passed with a tray of Guinness towards his boyfriend, leaving Shane talking to a local at the bar. The younger, shorter, physically fitter, former stable boy laughed at his acquaintance, showing off his pearly white, wide smile and twinkling eyes, creased with laughter lines. Nicky’s heart skipped a beat as he saw the happiest version of Shane he’d seen all weekend. Perfection. 

He stood his turn but Heath nor Brax were anywhere to be seen. “Big man got the night off?” Nicky interrupted. 

“See you later mate.” Shane said to the man as he walked away and gave Nicky the eye, wearing the same outfit as the night before. “They’ll be back later. Early dart?” he asked, checking his watch. 

“Aye. Sshh, don’t tell anyone.” He chuckled. “Still giving me the cold shoulder?”

“No... Sorry. I was hungover and a dick before.” Shane looked ashamed of himself as he stared into his empty glass, Kian with his fresh pint. “Just difficult ya know?”

“Cant be seen talking to me, I get it. Mark wasn’t so keen either. He’s not looked me in the eye once this weekend. Not a very big conversationalist is he?” Nicky raised a brow at Shane with a smirk on his face before ordering himself a bottle of Becks. As he pulled out his wallet to pay Shane shook his head at the barman and pointed to himself indicating to put it on his tab. “Oh, thanks. What’s that for? Thought I owed you one?”

“For the cans you pinched? Ha-ha nah, this one’s for last night. I do appreciate it... I just have a funny way of showing it... Anyway I best get back to the lads. Make sure they’re not taking advantage of Brax not being around.”

“Sure.” Nicky licked his lips and pouted, staring back at him. “Steady on the beer tonight yeah? Might not be around to save you later.”

“Ha-ha, I’ll be grand. Not sticking around?” he suddenly felt disappointed but knew it was pointless wanting to share the space as he couldn’t hide his desire to stare at Nicky’s ginger stubbled jaw and sexy frown and there was no way he could slip up now.

Nicky shrugged, crunching his face. “Martha and Jack aren’t around so not much point. Just needed a cool down.”

“Right... Well um... Enjoy your drink. Probably see you around then.”

Nodding with a sigh, the blonde held his hand out to Shane. “Cheers. No hard feelings alright?”

“Your secrets safe with me man.” He took Nicky’s hand but after a strong shake they found themselves still lingering their grasp for a few seconds longer, their eyes meeting in the middle of a packed out bar but feeling like they were invisible. Shane cleared his throat and looked away first, stepping back with a shy grin. “Laters.” He shuffled off towards his friends and tried to wipe the smile off his face before he made it to the exit but Nicky didn’t have the same self control, smirking to himself as he watched the short arse slide through the crowd, grazing his crotch and hands over punters in the way. 

“There you are!” Kian claimed, handing him his pint. “Pete chewing your ear off again?”

“Yeah. Tried to get out as soon as the cop walked in but no such luck, sorry. So what time is Brax back?”

“About 9:30 he said.” Mark told him, checking his watch. “Plenty of freedom left.” He chuckled. “So what does everyone really think of blondie?”

Kian admitted he thought Nicky seemed like a nice guy but Mark was still bitter about his stolen beer and couldn’t comment on his suggested pretty looks because he admittedly hadn’t bothered looking him in the eye. Shane refrained from saying anything until Mark pushed him but even then he didn’t know how to reply. 

“You were talking to him for long enough earlier. Do you think he’s trustworthy?” Mark asked Shane, under no impression that they’d spoken more privately. Shane’s response was short and sweet and he tried to play his opinion down but inside he was feeling nerves for other reasons than paranoia of going to prison. “You really don’t like him do you?”

“We don’t know him Mark. When a guard tells you he knows you’re a drug dealer and isn’t going to do anything about it, how are you supposed to trust them? I don’t understand his motives that’s all. Feel like he’s constantly watching us.”

Kian piped up to defend him, “He is but that’s his job. He knows who we are but he’s polite and friendly. Maybe we should show him some respect and he won’t treat us like shit. Charlie was fit but she gave us a lot more stick than Jack does. She was strict. Probably why she ended up dead. Wouldn’t give up!”

“Keano!” Shane blasted and laughed. 

“Ha-ha, we know why she died in the cross fire. Just gotta let blondie help Jack work it out.” Kian sniggered, turning to Mark to give him a kiss.  
**

“Officer Byrne?!” Came a voice behind the blonde’s shoulder as he sat playing on his mobile in the corner of the beer garden, trying not to stare at the Irish River boys too much. 

“Brian? How the devil are ya?” Nicky stood to shake the tall guy’s hand. 

“Good mate. What you doing here?”

“Working. Well I was. What about you?”

“Here with the girls. Lilly was performing in the Atomic Kitten tribute band earlier. Did you see her?”

“Oh you’re joking? No I was dealing with an arrest, I don’t get to watch much of the music. Bloody hell man, good on her. Guess she’s playing Kerry’s part?” Nicky chuckled, gesturing for his old Dublin pal to take a seat so he did. 

“Yeah. Bit weird but she’s grand. Right little performer she is. How you finding it over here? Heard you’d been transferred.”

“It’s good mate. Got myself a cracking lass already.” He winked. “So where are the girls?”

“Molly is talking on her phone over there while Lilly says bye to her friends in the car park. Was just shooting inside to use the men’s to be honest. Got a long drive home. Kerry’s at home working.”

“No chance of joining me for a bevvie then?”

“Um... Well I’ll have to ask the girls but it’s half term this week so Molly doesn’t need to be back for Uni tomorrow I suppose. I’ll go to the toilet and get back to ya mate.” 

Nicky nodded and smiled, hopeful for some company so he wasn’t accused of spying on the lads. Brian was his old bank work colleague in Dublin years ago. In fact they’d been very good friends until Nicky joined the force and had less time to socialise. They’d spent many a drunken night singing karaoke together in the pubs back home but over time they’d seen less of each other. They were certainly over due a catch up. 

After his nature stop, Brian gathered his daughters and asked how they felt about staying for an extra hour or so. Molly was 18 already and up for a beer with her dad but with Lilly still 16, she had to stick to the soft drinks but was welcome to stay. Nicky figured Brax wouldn’t mind if she stayed outside with her father and the guard so they got the drinks in and sat talking up in what was left of the sunshine. 

“Blondie has a friend!” Kian pointed out as if Shane hadn’t already noticed. “Isn’t that Kerry McFadden’s husband and kids?”

Mark passed a look and nodded. “Think so. Their daughter was playing on stage earlier but I didn’t see Kerry anywhere.”

“Oh right. Didn’t realise. Probably know each other from Dublin. At least he’s occupied and not staring us down.” Kian smiled and saluted over to Nicky when he was caught looking, receiving a nod in return. “See, he’s just a normal guy. I think he’s quite cute.”

“What?!” Mark laughed trying not to be jealous. “Really? Can’t say I’ve looked at him really.”

“Aww he’s not as gorgeous as you Marky. Just saying. What do you reckon Shane?”

“Me? Prefer Martha mate.” Shane lied. “Don’t really judge guys on their looks Keano.” Lied, again. “Off for a wazz. Another round?”

Seeing Shane make his way inside, Nicky excused himself and followed the boy in. Yet again they were alone at the urinals but Shane was polite in greeting his stalker. 

“Alright? Like a lost sheep you are.” Shane chuckled, looking over at Nicky as he whipped his tackle out. Not something he’d ever done before, in fact he’d deliberately look away but this time he glanced down Nicky’s crotch before it started flowing. 

Nicky caught him getting an eye full and laughed, shaking his head as he peed. “You’re not very subtle are you?” 

“What do you mean?” Shane acted ignorant as he zipped himself up and went on to wash his hands. “Anyway, thought you said you had no friends. Looks like you know Brian McFadden pretty well.”

“Yeah we used to work together. Know Kerry too but she’s not here. A fan are ya?” Nicky teased, finishing his business and joining Shane at the sink. 

“Not personally but the lads knew who he was. Having a good night then? Brax just messaged to say he and Heath are running late. Won’t be back til closing... You should stick around... I mean, if you wanted to chill without him throwing daggers or anything... But then I suppose... Doesn’t matter.”

“What are you waffling on about? Brian can’t stay long so I’ll have to get home. He might even drop me off. What’s up?”

Shane sighed and cleared the nerves in his throat. He didn’t know what to say really. Not like this was a normal situation. Wanting to kiss a boy was hard enough without it being the new local officer investigating his gang. There was no way he could ask him out. No reason, no chance. Sucking on his top lip, the brunette creased his forehead and huffed, shaking his thought away. 

“Shane?”

“Nothing it’s fine. It’s been nice meeting you. I’m sure I’ll see you around.” He smiled, holding out his hand to shake again. “Sorry. We already did that... I erm, I should leave you to it.”

Nicky stared at Shane’s bashfulness and grinned like a Cheshire cat. “This is fucked up.” He muttered. “Do you have any fucking idea how much I wanna kiss you right now?”   
Nicky’s confession shocked Shane. He was taken back by his comment and was lost for words by his forwardness.   
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to say that. It was inappropriate.”

“No I just wasn’t expecting it.” Shane smirked, still staring at the cheeky grin on the guards face. That irresistible expression Martha fell for every day. The crease between his nose and lip hinched just enough to show a tooth or two. “You fancy me?”

Nicky shrugged, looking at his shoes, feeling the awkwardness. “No point is there really. Not like I can act on it.”

“Why? Because I’m in the closet or a River Boy?”

“Both.” He huffed. “And I’m with Martha obviously but... Fuck you’re gorgeous.”

“Good to know.” He smiled, embarrassed and nervous someone might walk in and notice the tense atmosphere. “In another life yeah?”

“I just can’t keep my eyes off you. I don’t even know why I’m trying to figure out some way of getting you on your own just to talk. Can’t exactly sneak around in a small place like this.”

“You want a repeat of last night just so you can be alone with me and have reason behind it? No one even knows about last night. Kian thinks I walked home.”

“Sshh then. In case someone’s listening.” Nicky dragged Shane to other end of the room near the cubicle but pinched the youngest boys arm as he shoved him. 

“Ouch, careful, I’m not a fucking piece of meat or offender ya know.” He rubbed his bicep and gave Nicky a frown. “Brax isn’t around. No one is spying on us.”

“But you’re OK if Mark or Kian overhear you admit it right? No I didn’t think so. Because they’d encourage you to embrace it.”

“No they wouldn’t. I’d get beaten to a pulp and I’d be lucky to... I can’t be gay Nicky. It’s just not an option for me.”

“I’ve already told you I can’t risk my career either but... Doesn’t stop me bring attracted to you. Of all people, you are not an option for me either.”   
Nicky rubbed his face and growled. Why was this happening? He’d never let his guard down before so the frustration he felt for suddenly wanting to act out of character, a fake character it may be, was getting harder to understand and deal with when every second he was around Shane, one of the boys he could be paid to throw in jail, he wanted to forget the world and follow his heart not his head.   
“I’m sorry I just wanted to... I don’t know. You’re just so fucking sexy, I can’t stop staring at you.”

“Ah man, this is ridiculous. I should never have drank so much last night. What’s the point in this conversation? It’s not going to get us anywhere is it? This is wrong Nicky. You’re a cop and you’re watching me and my friends like a hawk. Neither of us can be who we want to be, it’s just not worth it. We can’t be friends. We can’t...” Shane was ranting but the more he went off on one, making sense, the harder it was for Nicky to control the urge to shut him up. 

“I know all that!” he raised his voice in frustration. “You think I don’t know? Well tell me this genius... Since the moment you really looked at me the first time, all I’ve thought about is you. I don’t know you for who you really are. I only know what you’ve told me and what I’ve heard but yes despite knowing this is the most insane desire I’ve ever had in my life, tell me you don’t feel the same. Cause I’m pretty sure I can see it in your eyes.”

“It doesn’t matter what I feel!” he shouted back in the blonde’s face. “I can’t do this. I don’t get to pick and choose my friends and even if I could, you’d not be on my Christmas card list. Why can’t you drop this?”

“Just, because... It’s so fuckin infuriating to fancy someone this much and not be able to even talk to them without sneaking around. I want to, to try and, I dunno, work out a way of... Argh, fucking ask you out or something without having to worry about... Fuck sake.” 

“What do you want Nicky? A one night stand or something?”

“No! Well... I mean no that’s not what I want but, fuck I wouldn’t say no if that’s all I got but, no... I don’t know.”

Shane pressed his finger tips into his eye balls and took a deep breath. “Christ. I wish I’d never said nothing now. I’m sorry I made it so obvious but it’s still not an option. Why can’t you accept that? Why are you trying to pressure me into...”

Raising his voice again Nicky groaned and clenched his fists feeling a boiling fire inside his stomach rise. “I’m not trying to pressure you into anything. I’m just saying it fucking sucks and I’m trying to find a way to...”

“Well stop! There is no way. The facts are obvious OK and the secret can not come out. Stop trying to work a way around this. And stop following me to the toilet. It’s creepy.”

“Last night we got to talk. Be us. I just need that again. I’m not wearing a badge now. I’m not the bad guy here.” 

“That’s the problem Nicky! I am the bad guy.”

“No you’re not! You’re trapped and manipulated and...”

Busting for a piss again, Brian raced through the door interrupting Nicky’s argument causing them to immediately go silent. “Sorry did I interrupt something?”

“No mate. Have a good night Nicky.” Shane faked a smile and got away while he could, much to Nicky’s annoyance. 

“Sorry Nico. Is everything OK?”

“Yeah don’t worry about it. He’s in a complicated relationship that’s all. Won’t listen to my advice. It’s doing my head in... Don’t suppose I could grab a lift to Sligo with you could I?”

“Of course. I was going to offer you a lift anyway. We should probably be getting off in a bit though. About 20 minutes?”

“Yeah sure. I’ll go grab my bag from the caravan and be straight back. Cheers bro.” Nicky patted his friend on the back and took off through the crowds and garden to his van without so much as a side glance at Kian and Mark to notice Shane wasn’t there. Probably at the bar!

Locking up the van, Nicky threw his rucksack over his shoulder and began to head back to Brian and the girls for a free ride home. Just as he got level with the back of the buildings he saw Shane sat on the floor by the dumpster again in the same position as he was the night before, curled up in despair by the wall and fire exit. The blonde rolled his eyes and stopped in his tracks. 20 minutes Brian said. It’d only taken 3 and a half to pick up his belongings. 

“Mate.” His calmer tone caught Shane’s attention hoping there was no tears down his cheeks this time. “I’m so sorry.”

Shane looked up to see Nicky clearly ready to head home and his heart sunk. “Running off home?”

“Not running nowhere. Just getting a lift home. No point sticking round is there?”

“Nicky, I’m sorry. I wish things were different I really do.”

“Look, if you’re free tomorrow would you like to meet up to talk? I can pick you up from somewhere, we can drive up to Hazelwood or something and just chat. I’ve got the whole day off.”

“Really?! I was planning on heading to town anyway so the lads know I’m busy.” Shane’s eyes filled with hope and excitement. The thought of being able to relax around Nicky for the first time and talk to someone outside the tiny box he lived in, sounded appealing. “Sure that’d be amazing.”

“Yeah? Good.” Nicky smiled. “Not expecting a Christmas card or anything.” He chuckled, biting his bottom lip. 

“Sorry. I know I get defensive and cold... But I’d like to see you to talk, thanks. I’m just so scared.”

Nicky crouched down to Shane’s level and did as he had last night, softly rested his hand on the boy’s ankle. “Shane you can trust me I promise. I’m not using you I swear. Give me your number and I’ll call you in the morning yeah?”

Shane nodded and entered his digits into Nicky’s personal mobile, branding himself 'Trigger' for a laugh. He pushed himself to his feet and brushed off the dirt from his butt cheeks. “Cool.”

“What are you doing out here anyway?”

“Just needed some air and time to think. Think I might head home myself to be honest. Can’t be bothered with the lock in.”

“Won’t you get a gob full?”

“Should be fine. Just gonna get in the car and go.”

“You’ve been drinking haven’t you?”

“Only had 2 pints. I know that’s over the limit but you were wankered last night and it didn’t stop you.” 

Nicky laughed and nodded with guilt. “Yeah but it was gone midnight and I was in a police car. Bit of a difference mate... Could probably get you a lift though. I’m sure that’s Brian’s car just there. You wouldn’t be seen leaving.”

“Won’t he ask questions?”

“Nah he’s sound. Told him we’re mates. So is that a plan? I just don’t think it’s a good idea you driving. I’m really passionate about drink driving which I know makes me a hypocrite but last night was extenuating circumstances and I don’t wanna see paperwork with your name on it on Tuesday morning. And I doubt Brax would be impressed either.”

“Fine, sure thanks. I’ll wait here then.”

“Great. Be right back.” He grinned, slipping off casually to find their driver home in the 8 seater, people carrier sat in the caravan car park.   
**

“Where’s Filan?” Brax asked 5 minutes before closing as he and Heath returned from their job. 

Kian explained with a few fibs that his mam was asking after him so he went home to deal with family issues. Brax never asked further questions when it came to family. It was information he didn’t want to hear or know about the lads private lives so Kian had messaged Shane letting him know he’d used this excuse on his behalf.   
Brian had willingly dropped Shane off on his travels home, detouring towards Sligo to take Nicky back too and the second he walked through the door the blonde checked his phone for Shane’s number. When his name didn’t appear on the S contacts his heart stopped for what felt like a minute. The idea of Shane having faked typed hit his guts and he worried he’d have no way to contact him in the morning until he slowly scrolled from the top to see if he’d entered it under 'Filan' instead. No such luck. 

“You’re joking... Don’t do this to me.” He chuntered to himself, kicking off his shoes as he entered his basic lounge. Slumping down on the couch into a seat that felt like a cloud after 2 days of hard benches and thin caravan seating, he sighed into comfort and continued to search the names in his list.   
“A-ha, there we go. Tut, idiot!” he chuckled at the nickname filed under T. 

Oscar Mike Golf, you actually left your number. Byrne.

Took 5 minutes but Shane eventually replied to confirm it wasn’t a dud.   
Thanks for the lift officer. See you tomorrow. Filan.

It was a happiness he hadn’t felt for a long time. Texting a boy. A gorgeous gay boy. Nicky had no idea how he was going to separate work and a secret friendship with a River Boy but damn he felt compelled to try. Two days in town and he was falling for the wrong person. Martha didn’t even cross his mind as he closed his eyes and imagined Shane sat beside him, cuddled up safe against his chest where Brax couldn’t see him. Although he’d thought the Aussie bosses facade was pleasant enough he knew it was all for show and he instantly changed his feelings to hate. He hated the way he was controlling the Irish lad’s personality, sexuality and freedom just to gain a few euros. Even if he was using the money to improve the appeal of Strandhill, there’d been a serious murder over it and Nicky wanted to rip his head off for involving beautiful Shane in his dirty plans. If there was a way to keep the local lads out of trouble at the end of this he’d think of it. It was too early to call that decision though. Without using Shane as bait he wanted to find out as much as he could about the way Brax operated in order to build his own case against him. If Nicky could prove the boys were working against their will and had nothing to do with Charlie dying then he could consider a deal Brax and Heath would understand but it was a long shot and only in the case of desperate measures would he suggest it to his higher superior. It wasn’t something worth mentioning to even Jack yet. He still had to keep his sexuality under wraps for now so he could keep Shane safe.   
**

“Still heading to town?” Kian asked him, pouring their morning coffee from the cafetiere.   
He and Mark had finally slept together after his belated promise following an early leave from the pub. Brax had called off the lock in again to give the boys time to themselves. 

“Yeah. Need anything? Off to see mam so might be a while. Why don’t you plan a romantic dinner with Mark?”

Kian raised his brow at Shane. His best mate never really talked about his relationship with Mark. He thought Shane maybe found it weird as they’d all been to school together and with Brax putting a ban on talk and action, his love life was kept pretty private. Even he felt a little strange kissing his boyfriend around prying eyes but no one ever batted an eyelid.   
“Not like you to suggest such a thing.”

Shane shrugged, sipping his warm cuppa as he sat at the dining table. “Just know you don’t get much time together and Mark’s been really jumpy again lately. Make the most of the time you get when you can Keano. You shouldn’t have to hide your love for him.”

“Thanks mate... It is hard. Especially when Mark won’t tell me what’s going on in his head. I wish he’d just talk to me. I wish I’d been around that night.” Kian stared into his cup and frowned. 

He hated being so helpless, unable to understand what happened to Mark the night he and Shane went to Cork for a stag do. Mark hadn’t felt well the day before and had decided not to go. His biggest regret. 

“It’s been 5 years mate. I don’t see him wanting to explain now. He never has in the past.”

“What am I supposed to do Shane? Nothings changed in that time. There’s something seriously wrong and I don’t know how to help. I just need to know what happened.” Kian complained, close to tears over the relentless and agonising frustration. “We had sex last night.”

“Congratulations.” He chuckled. “Didn’t need to know that.”

“Shane...”

“Sorry. Go on.”

“It’s a big deal ya know!? We don’t... Intimacy isn’t a regular thing. It’s like he’s too scared to... He’s never let me, ya know, be the one to...” Kian tried to get the words out but felt uncomfortable and feared Shane didn’t want to hear details either. “He’s been with guys before me I know that but it seems like it’s all one sided. Sometimes I’d like to...”

“I don’t really want to know the details of who does what Kian but you can talk to me... Guess there’s no one else you can open up to.”

“Exactly and I’m going crazy not being able to get my head around this. It’s always him doing the work if you know what I mean. As if I’m not allowed to touch him or... I’ve never... Huh, god sake.”

“I understand. Are you sure he’s even done that before? Maybe he’s just nervous or slightly homophobic himself. Doesn’t want a cock up his arse. Some guys aren’t into it.”

“No, he keeps saying he wants to but he’s not ready. Swears he prefers it. It doesn’t make sense. The only thing he lets me do is go down on him. I mean, I’m not exactly a porn star down there myself, I wouldn’t hurt him physically so I know it’s not that... Sorry I know this is an awkward conversation to have with a straight guy but I don’t get it. Is there something wrong with me?”

“Course not. So he likes to bend you over, so what? Do you enjoy it?”

“Absolutely. But it’s once in a blue moon and sometimes I’d like to return the favour ya know? Any time I suggest it, he clams up and it ruins the mood. I’m really worried Shane. I’m really starting to think he was hurt and the thought of going there again scares him.”

“Kian, he loves you so much. I know that. Whatever happened to cause this must be devastating and you might never get answers so just be patient or accept that he’s giving you what he can and be happy with it. Not as if it’s a normal relationship anyway.” 

Kian was upset by this comment. Not a normal relationship?! Bit rude.   
“Are you serious? Is that what you think? We’re just two blokes taking our friendship a bit too far now and again?”

“No I didn’t mean that. I don’t have a bloody problem who you shag, I just meant you can’t even be yourselves, you can’t be openly gay and sneaking around all the time is unhealthy. Neither of you are in the closet. You shouldn’t have to pretend you’re just mates.”

“I know that but it doesn’t make us less of a couple. Just because we’re not at it like rabbits or holding hands in the streets... Look just forget it. Didn’t realise you had such a problem with us being gay.”

Shane laughed and raised his voice, rising to his feet. “What?! I don’t have a problem at all. I feel sorry for you...”

Kian shot up from his seat too and squared up to his friend. He was so geared up for a fight he didn’t care who it was with. “Sorry for me?! Why, because I can’t just sit snogging girls in public like Heath or because I’m committed to someone scared of his own shadow sometimes? Mark might be broken Shane but don’t pity me. How about you support us and...”

“What the fuck? I have never had an issue with you guys. You’re my best mates.”

“Just forget it.” Kian stormed out the room in a huff, passing Mark in the hall without a word. 

“What’s his problem?” Mark asked, seeing the hopeless look in Shane’s eyes. 

“Nothing. I’m off out. See you later.” Shane grabbed his jacket from the coat hooks by the front door and slammed it behind him to walk 150 metres up to the main road.   
Instead of waiting for Nicky to call him, Shane took a punt at contacting the Gardaí himself. It was only an hour’s walk into Sligo city centre unless he caught the bus coming passed and flagged it down. The drivers were quite lenient when it came to random stops. There wasn’t any official stop between Sligo and Strandhill but the regular driver knew Shane and the locals so well he’d often let them on and off where they needed if it was safe to do so. 

Seeing his phone light up as he locked up his flat, Nicky smiled and answered. “Hello you. Good morning, how ya?”

“Hey, sorry to seem so desperate but are you free yet?”

“Um, sure is everything OK?”

“Making my way towards town now. Had a bit of an argument with Kian. Needed to get out. Think I’ve missed the bus so having to walk in.”

“Where are you? I’ll come get you. About to get in the car now to go to the supermarket. Need petrol and lunch stuff but we can grab it afterwards. Was going to call you in a minute and see what time you wanna meet.” Nicky unlocked his car and set up his Bluetooth to continue the call as he pulled out the street. 

“We can’t be seen together so I’ll have to wait in the car. Just head up the main road. Wearing my denim jacket. So fucking pissed off man, need to vent.”

“I’ll be 5 minutes. Stay on the line and I’ll find you. What was the fight about?”

Shane huffed and took his right turn onto the R292, crossing the road so he could jump in Nicky’s motor as quickly as possible. “He thinks I’m against his relationship with Marky that’s all. Really wanted to just shout in his face that I know how hard it is to keep it from everyone. Apparently they don’t have much of a sex life but he doesn’t think I wanna hear about the fact Mark won’t let him fuck him because it’s not straight sex talk.”

“Ha-ha... Sorry shouldn’t laugh but fucking hell. Do you really want to hear about their sex life when you don’t have one?” Nicky laughed, unable to wipe the amusement from his face. 

“Fuck off!” Shane sniggered. “No it’s just complicated. Shouldn’t gossip about it. Just fucking pissed me off that he thinks he can’t talk to me.”

“Not been funny mate but you’re not exactly the easiest person to have a serious conversation with.”

“Oh cheers... He’s my best mate though and I didn’t know before. He thinks maybe Mark was sexually assaulted or something and that’s why they can’t, ya know, be equal in the bedroom.”

“Bit of a strong assumption man. Are you sure he’s just not interested in receiving? Not the biggest fan myself.”

“No it’s not that. I dunno. Anyway what’s the plan?”

“Whatever you wanna do. Up to you. I’m going passed Aylesbury Park now so I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Already?! That was quick.”

“Got a flat in Kevinsfort Heath so when I said 5 minutes I meant it... Just stop where you are, don’t waste your energy.”

The line went quiet for a minute as Shane stopped in his tracks and kept an eye on every car that went by from Strandhill, scared stiff Heath or Brax would sail by and offer him a lift. He’d hardly be able to refuse. 

“What car you got? I’m freaking out with paranoia here, hurry up will ya?”

“Relax, Jesus. It’s a red Nissan Micra hatchback. Want me to make it look like I’m kidnapping you or something?” Nicky joked, finding Shane’s nerves a source of entertainment. “Can throw a bag over your head and chuck you in the backseat if you think it’ll make people believe you didn’t get in willingly.”

“I’m glad you find this so funny.”

“I’m not in a police car am I?! Chill out for fuck sake. You seriously need to get laid or have an almighty wank to release this tension built up inside you. Have a joint or something.” Nicky couldn’t help but tease, talking as if he was a bad boy not a guard. “Getting worked up isn’t going to make Brax any less of a prick you know.”

“You think getting laid is going to make me less paranoid about being gay? What world are you living in?” Shane frowned, wishing he’d picked up his sunglasses as another sunny day was upon them. 

“Maybe but it’d be fun finding out.” He smirked, licking his lips at the thought. 

“Huh, Nicky...”

“I’m not taking you dogging am I?! Christ. Right I’m coming up the main stretch, see you in a minute.” Nicky cut him off before he could reply and within a minute or two he could see a double denim figure in the distance. Flashing his lights as he got closer, he slowed down to stop on the curb and Shane jumped in the passenger’s side.   
“There’s no one around. What are you so worried about?”

“Just drive man, let’s get out of here.”

Nicky stared at Shane’s side profile and bit his bottom lip, sighing as he narrowed his eyes to imagine giving him a welcome kiss. “Hey.” He grinned. 

Shane turned to see the cheeky grin on the blonde’s face and for the first time he didn’t see a guard. “Hey... Sorry.” He threw his head back on the head rest and huffed a long groan. “You have no idea how scared I am right now.”

“You’ve never been safer, I promise.” Nicky rubbed the boy’s thigh and smiled. “How about we head down to Ballysadare to avoid town? I’ll buy us brunch. It’ll only take 15 minutes. If you can bare to be in the car with me that long?”

The brunette scoffed and pulled a face at Nicky, “I’m not scared of you! Not got your utility belt on now.”

Nicky let out a burst of laughter and shook his head. “Wow. It’s no wonder Brax gets pissed with you. You blow hot and cold more than a hormonal teenage girl with daddy issues.”

“So I’m not allowed to have issues without being accused of being a little girl?” 

“Argh!” Nicky roared with gritted teeth and his nails digging into the steering wheel. “Fucking hell... Just, shut up til we get there yeah? Sake... Remind me why I’m doing this again?”

“You tell me.” Shane huffed and stared out the window to his left the entire way. 

Turning the music up, Nicky ignored his passenger until they pulled into a pub car park for breakfast. It was just another little village on the estuary south-west of Sligo. Shane was comfortable enough there as he’d never been himself and was confident he didn’t know anyone that ever travelled in that direction either. If any of the drug users he knew saw him, they’d either assume Nicky was a friend, part of a hand over or in other circumstances they’d know Nicky was a copper and not approach Shane in case they were noticed using. He felt safe and the silence in the car on the way gave him time to think, to calm down and appreciate the one person that should be totally against him was the only guy willing to listen to his woes and difficulties regarding his secret sexuality. He just needed to remember not to give anything away that could put him or the boys at risk. 

Choosing a table outside in the beer garden, Nicky passed Shane a Coke and stretched his arms above his head as he yawned once sat down. After such a tiring weekend of two 12 hour shifts and a session of drinking, he was pooped.

“How ya feeling?” he started. 

“Tired... Impossibly lonely.” Shane dropped his gaze, squinting as the sun shone in his face. 

“Wasn’t after a deep response but OK we can delve right in.” Nicky smirked, placing his shades onto his face. “So what’s the biggest issue?”

“Being a fucking drug pusher for that Aussie cunt isn’t an obvious big issue to you?” 

“Come on mate. I’m not here to assume anything. We don’t even have to talk about Brax if you don’t want to.”

“Why do you care Nicky? Why are we even here right now? What do you gain from trying to befriend me? Do you think I’m going to break the alliance or give you the answers you need to beat Jack at cracking the investigation?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, it’s nothing to do with the fucking case? I didn’t know Charlie, it’s not personal to me. I could leave the force tomorrow and you could tell me everything but I wouldn’t go running to the sergeant. It’s just a job at the end of the day and I know you now. Your protection means more to me.”

“Why though? You don’t know me Nicky. All you know is I can’t be gay and my attitude about it stinks.”

“No one has said you can’t be gay Shane. That’s the thing. Yeah OK Darryl wouldn’t like it but it’s not the be all, end all is it?”

Shane slapped is hands over his face, elbows boring holes into the hard wooden table top. His feet were tapping in his boot heels underneath him and his chest began to shake. Talking about his sexuality for the first time was daunting and he hated having to talk about it when it felt impossible to accept. His eyes were building up with tears as his throat was obstructed by a golf ball sized lump choking him. All he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and take a beating for even thinking about another man holding him. He’d never been attracted to Mark or Kian, they’d been his best friend’s since childhood and he wasn’t jealous of their relationship as such but he did fancy Nicky, he just couldn’t deal with the feelings of knowing he was forbidden fruit.

“I thought you’d understand.”

“I do... Kind of. I told you why I’m seeing Martha so I get it. I don’t mean to sound disrespectful Shane but it’s not like you’ve got a job that’s prejudice. If Darryl is the only reason you can’t be happy then say so.”

Snapping back at the blonde, Shane waved his hands above his head before slamming them on the bench in frustration. “Of course it’s about him. He controls me. And what do you think he’d do to me if he knew it was you pushing me to admit it? That we’ve ran off for a secret lunch together 3 days into meeting?” 

“Tell me then, I don’t know. I can’t protect you unless I know what would happen.”

“It doesn’t bear thinking about. If Kian can get glassed in the face over a disagreement what do you think he’d do to me for disobeying him? He’s already tried to break my nose for losing gear and that was an accident. He doesn’t take rule breaking lightly. He could break my legs.”

“For being gay?! That’s a hate crime on its own. He’d get locked up.” Nicky insisted but it didn’t matter what he said, Shane wasn’t really listening. “Fine, so he can’t find out, that’s alright. I get that... Do you intend to ever try and break free of the gang? What’s tying you down?”

“Guess it all happened accidentally. Kian, Mark and I already had a reputation for ruling the roost. When Darryl and Heath arrived we tried to warn them off but their intimidating position made it impossible to fight them. He needed dealers and we needed money. He paid us a hefty lump sum to work for him in peace so long as we did what he said and played by his rules. Took us 9 months to repay him. Turned out the money he gave us was more of a sub. Now Mark and I have paid it back, we deal for a stake in the profit. Kian doesn’t have a wage. He has to work at the surf club another 3 months until he’s finished repaying his share. If we ever get caught and charged we have to pay him back for loss of earnings and any legal fees he covers for us.” 

“Right. Makes sense I suppose. So you’re trapped because you owe him money?”

“Keano does yeah. He didn’t know at first the lads were together. After he’d read the riot act, Mark had a fit and admitted it anyway. That was the only time Darryl was afraid... Scared Mark would blab about his intensions if he couldn’t be with Kian anymore.”

“What deal did he do for Mark to stick around?”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s history now. Nothing came of it.” 

“So you’re paid up. What’s holding you back now?” Nicky sipped his Lemonade and listened intrepidly to Shane’s confession. He considered the conversation to be confidential regardless of not being under any ethical or legal obligation. “Why can’t you break away if you’ve paid your dues?”

“Alliance... if I walked away I’d be putting Mark and Kian at risk. He could hurt them as a warning for me not to go to the guards about him. I can’t put them in that position Nicky. We have to stick together and hope the cops work this all out before we find ourselves in the nut house or slammer. And don’t even ask me to point you in the right direction. I can’t give you any clues either. It’s not worth the repercussions.”

Nicky took a deep breath and bit his inside cheek. He was surprised by how much Shane had shared already but it all made sense. He wasn’t expecting to be told who killed Charlie and where the drugs were coming from but he understood a little more about why Shane was worried.   
“Nothing I can do. I’m just a guy having a drink with a friend.” He reassured the brunette. “You’re looking forward to them being caught out right?”

“Of course. I just can’t be the one to hand them over. Short of going into witness protection it’s not an option.”

Nicky grinned. “Funny you should say that... crossed my mind yesterday. Wouldn’t solve much though would it?”

“How’d you mean?”

“Well you could be out and proud where ever you’re sent to but it means you lose the friends you’re trying to protect in the first place and I won’t be around to enjoy your freedom with you.”

“You could come with me. Everyone would know you’re corrupt and gay too so you’d probably be pushed off the force anyway... See, no one is going to win if I open my mouth Nicky.”

“I’d go with you.” He smiled. The sincerity in his voice caused a grin to form on Shane’s face too as he looked up at the blonde. “It’s gonna take time and care but there might be a way to get through this safely.”

“Does it involve me sneaking around with you behind everyone’s back? I’m not a good liar.”

“Are you apposed to the idea of sneaking around with me?” Nicky’s cheeky face burned in the rays as he gazed and pouted at the gorgeous man sat opposite, thinking dirty thoughts to himself.

Shane chuckled and relaxed a bit more. “In what respect? As secret friends or something else?”

The older boy shrugged a shoulder and winked though it was barely noticeable under his aviators. “I don’t have anyone to answer to. Could use Martha as a false alibi when Jack asks what I’ve been up to on my time off. Eventually he’ll think I’m seeing someone else, he’ll tell her, she’ll dump me then I’m free to carry on sneaking around.”

“That’s not fair man. She’s a good lass. Doesn’t deserve that.” 

“Ha-ha, it’s fine, I’m only joking. She’s into Jack, I know that. Need to end it with her anyway. Don’t wanna look a fool myself.”

“Do you think she’d keep it a secret if you told the truth?”

“You tell me mate. Couldn’t tell her I’m gay. Jack would find out. If they want to think I’m seeing someone else that’s OK but they can’t know it’s you. I need the job to protect you remember.”

“Hmm... Nicky what do you really want from me?” 

“I want you!” Nicky mumbled, looking down at his glass wishing it had whiskey in it. 

“Why?” Shane wasn’t quite expecting him to be so honest and was a little speechless at how forward the cutie was being. “Me, how?”

“I don’t know... I just have this niggling feeling in my stomach. I know it’s ridiculous and so wrong but I fancy you like crazy and I want to find a way of... I dunno. Being the hero and saving you from this fucking dickhead. You’re gorgeous Shane and holding back this attraction is fucking killing me.”

“Do you know how insane that is?”

“Of course I do, it’s driving me crazy. You have no idea how badly I want to just drive us both away from all of this. But I can’t and it hurts.” Nicky held his head in his hands and took a deep breath. “You were my last thought before I went to sleep and my first when I woke this morning. You’re mesmerising but I hate who you are. I hate that you’re a River Boy and I’m a guard. I wouldn’t be as stupid as to go near you even if I wasn’t a cop but I know you a little now and I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“I like you too Nicky, I do. I’m just so nervous around you. I don’t know how to trust you.” Shane painfully admitted. 

He wasn’t 100% sure Nicky was being genuine and his sceptical thoughts stopped him from considering a friendship because his fear of the Braxtons was so strong. How did he know for sure Nicky wasn’t on a mission to trick him? Maybe Jack and his colleagues did already know he was gay and didn’t have an issue with it, he was just using that as a way for Shane to think he held a precious secret against him. But Nicky’s genuine reaction helped him to decide his conspiracy theory was wrong. 

“Course... Understandably so, I get it.” He nodded, cleared his throat and stood up. “Excuse me.” 

When Shane saw Nicky’s get away was inside and not to the car, he followed him to their favourite place. The place they usually found themselves yet not the most romantic. 

“Nicky, I’m sorry but you understand why I’m sceptical right?” 

“Sure.” He croaked, leaning over the sink, fighting back tears of anger. Life wasn’t fair. 

“I want to trust you but I’ve never been more terrified in my life.”

“I get that!” Nicky snapped, yelling over his shoulder at the confused boy behind him. “I don’t understand this either. I wish it was easy but it’s not. I wish we were just two guys, meeting in a pub, no baggage... I wish I could get drunk and make a fool of myself by throwing myself at you.”

“You’d need to be drunk to come on to me?” Shane sniggered, trying to make a joke to calm the blonde down. 

The stylish guard turned to lean against the unit and glared at the perfect man in front of him. Shane’s hair was fluffy and un-styled but with his day old stubble he looked naturally sexy. “It’d give me the confidence to.”

“Don’t think I’d push you away either.” the scruff admitted.

“Seriously?” 

“Nicky you saw the way I looked at you. Of course I fancy you. I don’t remember the last time I fancied anyone. But I’m scared if we start something we won’t be able to stop and I put everyone at risk.”

“Shane I’m a fucking guard. Do you think I can’t talk my way out of shit if a rumour starts? I’m still a man too, a hot blooded, gay man who has to sleep with women. I want you... I need you.”

Shane’s nerves were getting the better of him now. He stood shaking, his nostrils flared, eyes flickering, drooling at the mouth as he watched Nicky chew his lip off. Making a decision he wasn’t entirely sure about, he stepped forward and held his hand on Nicky’s waist taking him by surprise.   
“I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up. The one thing I can promise you is that I had nothing to do with Charlie’s murder. I’ve never hurt anyone in my life. I’m not the bad guy everyone thinks I am.”

“I believe you. I can see the nice guy you are under that rough boy exterior and that’s why it sucks.” Nicky’s hand twitched as he felt Shane’s warm palm caress his side. He hadn’t been touched by a man for such a long time. It was amazing. The soft fingers on his pale grey top, squeezed his slim waist and sent shivers down his legs. 

“Nicky... I want you too. I just don’t see how it’s possible.”

Nicky’s voice cracked as he lowered his tone in a hope of not being heard by anyone else. “You’re already touching me. I’d say we’re half way there.”

“Well maybe I’m not completely against something happening. I mean, what happens in Vegas right?” Shane smirked, holding his other hand on Nicky’s neck, shuffling closer so their chests nearly met. “I don’t like one night stands and that’d be difficult to forget about but I want you so badly. I just want to feel like me for ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes? Is that all it takes?” Nicky chuckled. “I’ve got all day.”

“What are we waiting for then?” 

Without the Dutch courage of alcohol, Shane bit the bullet and leaned in to press his ready lips onto Nicky’s. The second they touched, Nicky responded. Tingles showered his entire body as he took an inward breath through his nose and kissed him back, their mouths glued together for what felt like an eternity. Shane pushed his weight against the blonde and forced his tongue into Nicky’s mouth, exploring him with a delicate flicker of passion. The brunette’s small hands grasped Nicky’s neck, holding him in so he couldn’t pull back in regret but there was no attempt to end the embrace. The cop’s hands linked around the back of Shane’s neck, encouraging him to continue until they needed air. Luckily no one disturbed them but it had to stop sometime. 

Catching his breath as he separated their perfect first kiss, Shane smiled and rested his forehead on the Gardaí’s. “Wow. Martha is one lucky bitch.”

“No... You are. I’ve never kissed her like that. That was... Yeah wow.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t stop myself. Arrest me officer. Sexual harassment and assault.”

“Not a chance Filan. It was definitely consensual. Fuck it was amazing.” Nicky beamed as he licked the taste of Shane’s lips from his own. “This just went way passed complicated.”

“So no chance of a repeat performance?” Shane took a step back and stared him out, reading his body language which screamed, Fuck Me Now. “It was a bad idea wasn’t it?”

“Are you kidding? I want to fuck you right now. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the day on that.”

“Back to yours then?” Shane suggested knowing it was a long shot. 

“Ha-ha god I want to. That kiss was amazing but maybe we should take this slowly. If this is going to happen I don’t want to regret it. Plus Jack has a habit of popping his head in to mine on our days off. I’m not ready to hide you in the bedroom for an hour yet.”

“No you’re right, that’s fine. I was joking anyway.” Shane shrugged, acting nonchalant. 

“Liar!” Nicky giggled, reaching to hold Shane’s hand. He gave it a squeeze and smiled at the gorgeous boy. “We need to work this out Shane. I need to know you’re safe.”

“I always feel safe when I’m with you.”

“Safe when you’re not I mean. If Darryl poses a risk then maybe Mark and Kian need to know what’s going on. They can cover for you.”

The brunette sighed and covered his mouth, shaking his head as the thought of coming out petrified him. “No... You want me to not only come out but announce I’m seeing you of all people? That’s insane.”

“Why? I don’t have any beef with Kian. He’s the only one of ye that hasn’t given me any lip. He’s sound. I can be there for moral support. Explain I’m on your side. Mark doesn’t have to be there if you think he’ll flip tables but...”

“You’re being very optimistic. It was only a kiss.” There he was being negative again, in denial and defensive. He hated snapping moods but he spoke before he’d thought things through and made matters worse sometimes with arsey come backs. “It’s not like we’re ready to get married.”

“Shane, chill. I’ve already cheated on Martha and I want to see you again. I want you.”

“Could we maybe go and sit on the beach down the road or something. I can relax and concentrate more when I’m watching the waves.”

“Yeah of course. I’ll just have a piss and meet you at the car.”

Shane nodded and sauntered off to the see if his drink was still sat on the table outside. Checking his phone while he waited he noticed a message from Kian stating Brax was calling a meeting at 5pm. The blonde had informed him Shane had family commitments but he insisted the whole group be there. He closed the protective wallet and shoved the device back in his pocket, ignoring any knowledge of the appointment. He was finally taking charge of his life. Kind of. To an extent. Nicky might want shut of him by then anyway. It was still morning.  
**

Mark was off on one at Brax...  
“Why can’t you just give him some time off to see his family? You keep going on about acting normal and not drawing attention to ourselves so he needs to see his mam so she doesn’t get suspicious.”

“Don’t back chat me Mark. This is important. He needs to be here. Unless you’re going to do the entire job yourself and suffer the consequences for failing, I suggest you make sure he’s here, pronto. “Brax wasn’t impressed his best mule was off playing with mother hen. He and Heath had bent over backwards the night before to get the best deal they could but it needed shifting with greater caution than usual. It was imperative that Shane heard the conversation at the same time.   
“Tell him if he wants out, he’ll be spared a beating... It’ll be you using crutches and he can be the one risking his freedom on his own.” 

“That’s not fair man...”

“Mark do I have to remind you?” Brax’s fingers pinched the brunette’s ear as he dragged his head towards him with a stern look in his eyes. “You know the score. Get it done!” he twisted the lobe in his hand before pushing Mark away into a stool at the end of the bar and stormed out of the fire exit to his car leaving the Irish boy desperately fearful that his neck was on the line. 

Returning from the shop across the street, Kian asked why his boyfriend looked scared so he explained the conversation and threat which only worried the blonde too. Shane had never let them down before but there was a first time for everything so he tried to call the head dealer again to emphasize how important it was that he got home in time.   
**

The closest beach was back home, south of the golf course on Cullenamore but they felt it was a bit too close for comfort so Nicky chose to drive over to Lough Gill instead, parking up at a secluded viewing spot where they sat on a blanket in front of the bonnet, watching the ducks swim on the lake. It was peaceful and the only other people around were dog walkers so it put their minds at ease.   
Kian had tried to call 3 more times in the space of 20 minutes and Nicky could tell he was getting annoyed. Shane was enjoying his company and didn’t want to ruin it by admitting there was a meeting later on but even with his mobile on silent, it continued to vibrate. 

“Just answer it will ye?” Nicky told him, going insane over the buzzing. 

“Why should I? I’m sick of being dictated to. What if mam was sick and needed me? They don’t know she doesn’t need me. Why should I panda to his demands all the time?”

“Do you want your head kicked in? What if he knows you’re with me? Don’t you need to know what you’re going home to?”

“Kian’s already text me to say Brax is calling a meeting. I don’t want to go.” Shane huffed, tempted to throw the towel in and run away where no one could find him. “But if I disappear then the lads get it.”

“Shane I can help you but I need to know what’s going on first. Just answer it. Please.” 

The touch of Nicky’s hand on his gave Shane the confidence to take the call. “Hey what’s up?... I’m busy, sorry... What’s it about?... Fuck sake... He what?! He fucking dares touch Mark, I’ll... Fucking hell, great... I don’t want his fucking money Kian, we’re square now... I have enough on my plate already without... Keano this is ridiculous, I’m ready to break... Because I’ve had enough. I don’t feel comfortable around that new cop, we don’t know him like we do Jack. Jack wants justice for Charlie... And have his mates fly over to kick our heads in? Don’t think so... Fine I’ll fucking be there but he owes me big time. And I’ll tell you this for free. Don’t expect me to do a drop on Thursday because I’m going to Dublin with my sister and I’m not missing out... I’ll take the fucking bullet, see you later.” He cancelled the call and slammed his phone down on the blanket before laying down and covering his face with his hands as he let out an almighty growl. “Argh, had enough!”

Nicky rolled his eyes and laid beside the frustrated boy, holding his head up with his hand as he turned on his side. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Just made it worse. Now Kian’s gonna wanna know why I’m threatening to make a run for it... Should have just bit my lip and got on with it.”

“Any idea what it’s about? What has he done to Mark?”

“Threatened to neck him if I’m not there... Told you he’d use the lads against me. Sounds like there’s a new big job to do.” He sighed then tilted his head to smile at the blonde looking over him. “We need to make a plan.”

“I’m all ears. You want me to be close by? I can visit Martha at work so I’m around if you need me.”

“Yeah maybe... Nicky... I just want this to be over. I can’t dob but perhaps I could tell you what goes on from now on. Just the stuff you could find out on your own or from someone else so it doesn’t come back on me.”

“Sure. If that’s what you want. It’s not like I can go in all guns blazing without Jack and Brax working out what’s going on so anything you choose to tell me will be used discretely. I promise.” Nicky reached out to stroke Shane’s cheek and smiled at the vulnerable man, crying for help. “So, Dublin?”

“No... I just made it up on the spot. You said Thursday was your next afternoon off so I was just hoping you were free.”

“Yeah? You want to see me?” A wide, excited grin spread across the blonde’s face, lighting up his eyes as he stared at the brunette. 

“I can just be me when I’m with you. As long as no one realises I’m 'out of town’ every time you’re not even at work then maybe we can carry on seeing each other. If you can guarantee me anonymity by feeding you clues then I’ll help you solve this case but it’s a big risk.”

“I know. I’ll create some ideas... Ways of Jack and I to have the opportunity to give you a warning or two to divert any suspicions I’m soft on you. I have a friend in Dublin that used to take a beating from guys we wanted done for assault. He’d be more than willing to help us out.”

“You want to frame the brothers?”

“Not really. It’s just a way to put people off the scent when it comes to you and me. Carry on pretending you don’t trust me and I’ll give you reason to hate me. No one will ever know we’re together. They’ll think you hate me when in fact you’re feeding me as much information as you can to pull these bastards down.” He held his hand over Shane’s chest and softly scratched his finger tips over the hard pecs beneath the plain black t-shirt hiding under the denim jacket. “And yeah I’m free Thursday. But you have my number now so you can message me when I’m at work and call me when I get off. If you just wanna chat bollocks then I’m there. It doesn’t have to be anything to do with Brax... I’m interested in you too, not just the case.”

“OK thanks. Just be patient with me Nicky. I need to do this at my own pace. I can only tell you what I’m comfortable with.”

“Shane, you don’t actually have to tell me anything ya know? I still want to protect you and be with you whether you lead me to the truth or not. It’ll just be over quicker if you do. It’ll be worth the risk in the end.”

“Kiss me again Nicky.” Shane whispered, gazing up into the crystal blue orbs full of sadness and hope. 

Nicky nodded, running his hand back up Shane’s chest to cup his cheek as he slowly leaned down to brush his lips across his jaw towards his mouth. The brunette’s heart was racing the more he thought of getting caught. It was a scary excitement but an unbreakable desire to take Nicky turned him on greatly and he wanted to put his faith in the blonde; that he’d do as he said and help take down the murderer and drug source while protecting him from Brax’s claws. Their tongues were already tied when Nicky’s hand slid down Shane’s side to pull his body closer to him, shuffling himself towards the muscular torso until their bellies met and the cop’s right leg was wrapping itself around the shorter man. No one could see them as they got carried away and the sensation of their bodies melding into one was electric but eventually they needed to come back up for air. There was barely a breeze in the calm, tranquillity of the Lough on a hot day and Nicky was getting hot under the collar. 

“God I wish you weren’t a bad boy... I already hate keeping you a secret.” The Gardaí claimed. “Jack wouldn’t need to know I was gay but I could pull you off as a friend and we could be seen together in public... The most gorgeous man in Strandhill.”

“Who’s the most gorgeous in Sligo then?”

“Me of course.” He laughed. “You’re so aesthetically perfect.” 

“Ha-ha, I’m not Heath.”

“Heath isn’t a patch on you. I love a dark country boy not some egotistical, Aussie surfer. You’re real... I barely know you but I want you so much.”

“Seeing you with Martha is going to kill me.” Shane frowned. He’d tasted Nicky now and he didn’t want to share. 

“Oh fuck... I just remembered. I promised to take her out tonight.” Nicky let go of the man he was tangled around and laid down, mentally kicking himself for forgetting about his plans. “Fuck... I can’t do this.”

“Right, yeah I get it. We should just forget about...”

“Wait no, I didn’t mean you!” his hand immediately fell back on Shane’s cheek in horror. He’d only just connected with the gorgeous boy, he couldn’t bear to let him go now. “No... I can’t pretend with her. How can I relax at dinner with her when I’ll be worried sick Darryl is going to attack you?”

“Nicky, I’ll be OK. You can’t let Martha down. You need her. We need her. It’ll be alright.”

“I can’t... Fuck.” Nicky’s head tilted to meet the brunette. He took a long inhale through his nose as he tightened his lips and closed his eyes, trying not to imagine the state the Irish boys could find themselves in if Brax didn’t get his way. “You’ve scared me. I’m nervous for you, I need to be around in case anything happens.”

“You’re not on duty Nick, there’s nothing you can do. I just have to make sure I’m back in time and hear him out, keep him sweet. I’ll text you as soon as I’m done.” Shane was overwhelmed by the blonde’s sudden reluctance to maintain his relationship with the girl but knew as much as the jealousy would drive him wild, they had to continue the facade that they were both straight. At least until Martha admitted she only really wanted Jack when Nicky could dump her with a valid reason.   
“Where are you taking her?”

“Huh, don’t know. Not even thought about it. I really don’t want to take her anywhere.”

“You have to. Don’t be a dick to her man. You’ve faked it for this long...”

“Yeah but I wasn’t interested in anyone for real before. I’ve slept with her twice but she could have been anyone. It was just sex Shane there was no intimacy or desire there. I hated every second of it. The first time I got drunk and pushed her up against a wall. Just stuck it in her and fucked her but as soon as I started it didn’t feel right. I held her breasts and I felt nothing. It had to be quick because it was turning me off... The second time we were on her sofa. Again we’d been drinking and she sat on me so I whipped it out, spun her round and fucked her from behind. I tried to be less rough but I couldn’t even... It was just sex, my hand went no where near her. It was absolute bollocks and I felt like a twat afterwards because I could tell she wasn’t satisfied. Thankfully she was pretty tired and pissed so she didn’t care too much but until yesterday we’d barely even kissed properly. And I’m such a bastard because the only reason I really gave her the best snog in 2 months was because I imagined it was you.”

“Wow... So it really is quite casual then? You’ve never touched her? Like really made her wet?”

“No... I mean she was wet when we fucked but she was turned on that’s why. My hands have never gone between her legs. The thought of it makes me shudder. She’s a great kisser but not a patch on you.”

“The thought of going down on a woman makes me cringe too. There’s no way I could do it. Ugh!” Shane shivered at the prospect, making Nicky giggle. “I’ve kissed women, of course I have. I’ve had to for Brax’s benefit but every time I’ve been seen leaving the pub with a girl, I’ve either told them I have a secret girlfriend or pay them to lie for me if they’re local.”

“You know what? I’ve got an idea. You can pretend to have a girlfriend right? Like, flirt, kiss her now and then and pretend you’re together?”

“Why? You gonna pimp me out?” a confused crease in Shane’s head formed, his intrigued grin staring at Nicky as he waited to hear his bright idea.

“We need a decoy don’t we? My friend Cecelia Ahern is an actress. She could pose as your girlfriend until all this is over and every time you’re with me, you can say you’re with her. She’d come over to Strandhill on a regular basis so you’re seen together. We can even set it up so you meet in the bar.”

“How much is that going to cost?”

“Nothing from your pocket. She’ll give me a deal and I’ll sort it. She’s beautiful, friendly and would even dress and act however you want. You give her the profile she needs to be believable to the type you pretend to like and she’ll play along. She knows I’m gay so I can explain everything. We were really close friends in school, she’d understand.”

“You think it’ll work? And you still see Martha?”

“For now. Only, you don’t have to sleep with Ce so it’s fine... You get to save all your energy for me.” Nicky winked, believing his cracking idea might just work wonders. “The sooner I end it with Martha the better but you can be with Ce and there’ll be no suspicion. She’s not an escort so no one will recognise her as that. She does stage work in Dublin but the last time we spoke she was single. What do you think? Would Brax allow you to date?”

“I don’t see why not. He’s after Ricky... It might work. Won’t be fun kissing her when I should have my tongue down your throat instead but if I’m going to get laid my mood will change and I need an excuse for it.” Shane cheeks blushed as he gazed into the sparkle of Nicky’s iris. “You better touch me like you’ve never touched a man before.”

“Trust me... The moment my hand touches your cock you’ll know about it. I just hope it’s soon cause I’m hard just talking about it.” Nicky smirked, pressing his crotch into Shane’s denim clad thigh. “It’ll be worth the wait Filan.” He whispered before kissing him to seal the deal.   
**

He didn’t know what he was looking for exactly. He tried to remember the pictures from sex education but even then he hadn’t paid much attention to the finer details. Brian hadn’t been graphic in describing his manual handling of his wife so it wasn’t like he could go off hearsay. He didn’t even want to do it but he was drunk and horny as fuck. He needed to keep her on side for now so he reached into her knickers and fumbled around the gusset, parting her lips with his fingers tips as he kissed her hard with his Guinness tainted tongue. Her back was up against the front door this time. Had only just walked in the house from their meal out, Nicky anxious the entire time because he hadn’t heard from Shane. The more anxious he got, the quicker he drank and he’d fallen victim to his intoxicated state pretty quickly, encouraging Martha to drink more wine so she didn’t notice how much he was knocking back.   
He felt the right spot above her hole and tried not to vomit in her mouth as his digits circled her clit. Must have been doing something right as she groaned but couldn’t stomach it himself. His long fingers slid lower to enter her to ensure she was wet but when she reached for his hard-on, he pulled back. 

“Fuck... Sorry.” Nicky wiped his hand down his jeans before standing away and covering his face with his hand. “I’m so sorry.”

Confused and worried, Martha licked her lips and cleared her throat. “Nicky? What’s going on?”

“I... I’m so sorry Martha. I can’t do this.” Nicky bit his lip and shook his head. “I’m drunk, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Nicky... We’ve had sex before you know. I don’t understand why it’s a big deal?”

“I just can’t do it. I can’t touch... God, how am I supposed to say this without having to explain everything?... This is so embarrassing.”

“Oh god... Were you a virgin before me?” Martha didn’t believe it was possible. He was 36 years old for Christ sake. No way could a beautiful man like him have been a virgin.

“Not exactly... I can’t explain right now I’m sorry, I just can’t sleep with ya. It doesn’t feel right.” Nicky sat down on the bottom step to stop himself from falling in his dizzy state. “I like ya, I think you’re a cracking lass, I do but... Huh, I promised I wouldn’t do this.”

“Do what? Why are you freaking out? If you don’t fancy me Nicky just say so. I’m happy to just be friends if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I’m seeing someone else!” he blasted and immediately regretted it a moment later. “Shit... Martha I’m sorry.”

“You’re seeing someone else? Are you for real? Just keeping your options open were you? Does she know?”

“He... He knows.” He went on, the admission just rolled off his tongue without care. “Bollocks!”

“Wha... He?! You’re gay?!” Martha laughed in disbelief. “Wow... Makes sense I suppose. So why the hell have you been stringing me along? Are you in the closet?”

“Of course I am. I have to be and I promised I wouldn’t come out either. Not yet.” Nicky shot to his feet and held her arms, staring at her with urgency and all seriousness. “You can’t tell anyone. Please Martha I shouldn’t have said it. Jack can’t know. No one can.”

“Why? You’ve used me as a cover and now you want a favour?”

“I’m sorry. I just feel terrible lying to you and I didn’t want to dump you with some bullshit excuse when you have done anything wrong. This is really important babe, you can’t breathe a word to anyone. Please I’m begging ye.” Finally his mobile rang and when he checked he froze. 

“Is that him now?”

“I have to get this. Please just give me a second... Hello?”

“Hey it’s me. Sorry I couldn’t get back to ye. Are you OK?”

“I’ve fucked up. I um... Are you OK?” Nicky looked at Martha with her arms folded, a thousand questions on the tip of her tongue. 

“Aye, are you free to talk?”

“No I’m still with Martha. Erm... I need to do some damage control. Can I call you back?”

“Oh god what have you done?” Shane worried. “Don’t tell me. I’ll wait. I’m home now so call me when you can.”

“Cheers mate. Bye.” Nicky ended the call and wiped his mouth as his apologetic eyes gazed at the girl. “Sorry... Look, I can’t tell you anything I’m sorry. I just need to know you’ll spare me the harassment of telling anyone. I can’t let this get out yet. I have to protect you and solve this fucking River Boy murder case and I can’t do that if I come out right now. I’m sorry I used you as a cover. I know I shouldn’t have done that, I’m a selfish bastard but I couldn’t keep sleeping with you and lying. I respect ya too much... Please can you promise to keep this secret for now? Tell people you dumped me, I can handle that humiliation just don’t tell the truth. I’m begging ye.”

“So you need a cover for how long?”

“Just until the case is solved. If I hadn’t met this guy then maybe I’d hide it longer but I like him and no one can know about him yet.”

“So what if I offered to keep seeing you and we just don’t have sex?”

“What? Why would you do that?”

“You seem pretty desperate and I really like spending time with you. It’d be a shame to lose your friendship.”

Nicky was shocked by the offer and wondered why she’d put herself forward. Maybe because she wanted Jack and wasn’t that bothered about a relationship with the blonde anyway.   
“Are you serious?! You pretend to be my girlfriend and have no idea why?”

“Cant you tell me why? If I promise not to tell and do this for you?”

“Wow, Erm... I guess I could tell you part of it. Not much more than I’ve already said though. I thought you’d want to be free again to date Jack.” He sniggered, throwing in the dig so she knew he’d noticed the chemistry. 

Martha chuckled as her cheeks turned pink. Was it that obvious? “Mmm well Jack can wait. What has the case got to do with being straight?”

“Let me explain.” He took her hand and stumbled into the lounge, collapsing on the sofa to gather his thoughts, deciding what he could reveal and what he shouldn’t. “Being gay on the force is a risk. I want to help Jack solve this case and bring down the River Boys. I can’t be gay and do that. They’ll slaughter me. That’s why I’ve been pretending with you and yes I was a virgin to women before you. That’s why nothing much has happened between us, I’m sorry for that. You’re stunning and you deserve better... That’s the main reason. But now I’ve met someone I want to be with him. Only I can’t be. He’s hiding it too and I can’t tell ya who he is but it’s really important no one knows so I can bring the right boys down for Charlie’s murder. If the truth comes out then people will get seriously hurt and I can’t risk, me, Jack or even you getting caught up in the crossfire. All I’d ask is you don’t ask questions and pretend we’re still together. As soon as the case is over, I can be honest. I wish I could tell ya everything but I can’t.”

“OK.” She shrugged. “So it’s our secret.”

“How is it that simple? What do you get in return?”

“I get to be friends with you and still stare at Jack.” She grinned. “Do I know him?”

“I can’t say.”

“Is that a yes? Shit Nicky, is it...”

“I can’t tell you I’m sorry. Be easier if I did but... Not yet. I’ll repay you somehow but...” 

There was an unexpected knock at the door. 10:37pm on a Monday night. Who the hell could that be? Martha got up to peep through the curtains and smiled.   
“It’s only Shane. Bit weird. Must have ran out of toilet roll again or something.” She chuckled. “Mind if I answer it?”

“No, sure, go ahead.” His heartbeat was racing. Why would Shane knock on Martha’s door when he knew Nicky was still with her?

“Hey sweetie, sorry to bother ye. Couldn’t borrow a teabag could I? Bit random but I’m gagging for a drink and Kian hasn’t been shopping for milk and tea. Wouldn’t ask for something so trivial usually but I’m desperate and he’s being a prick so needed to get out the house for a minute to cool down. Not busy are ya?”

“Well Nicky’s here but we’re not busy as such. Come on in, he won’t mind.” Martha stepped aside and let the boy in. He often came round for a coffee or can of beer in the summer and sat in the garden to chill so it wasn’t the oddest request. 

Shane smiled and entered the lounge, seeing Nicky stare like a deer in headlights. “Officer!”

“Oh, hi. How’re ya?” Nicky casually asked, trying not to look too confused or happy to see him in one piece. Martha announced she was off to use the bathroom upstairs and left the boys alone. After hearing the door lock Nicky sprung off the couch. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he whispered.

“Tell me you haven’t told her about us.”

“No but she knows I’m gay. I haven’t mentioned you at all. But she’s willing to lie for me, for us, and pretend we’re still going out. Told her no one can know for the sake of the case. She doesn’t suspect it’s you alright.”

“You told her? Why?”

“Because my hand was in her knickers and I was drunk, worried sick about you. I couldn’t go through with it and I cracked. Told her I’ve met someone else. She’s being really calm about it. Oh and I’ve spoken to Cecelia so we need to sort that out. She’s up for it.”

“OK, great. I suppose... I had to see you. Kian’s not talking to me so it’s awkward at home. Mark is having one of his episodes so I just came without thinking. But I’m alright.”

“Thank god.” Nicky pulled him in for a brief hug, careful to listen for Martha’s return. “Don’t fucking scare me like that again. God I wish you could come home with me.”

“I know. Brax has more drugs to shift. The drop is tomorrow.”

“Fuck... Do you know where?” Shane nodded. “Right. We need to get out of here.”

“I can’t run now. I need to have a cup of tea. She’ll get suspicious otherwise. Unless we just tell her.”

“No way man. No point. She’s going to cover for me, she doesn’t need to know. But we need to talk. You sober?”

“Yeah why?” 

“OK, have your cosy cuppa with my girlfriend but hurry up. I’m going to leave and you can pick me up in the car down the road in 20 minutes. Don’t insinuate anything. She has to believe the Cecelia story too.” Hearing the girl make her return to the room Nicky played up on the spot and folded his arms, raising a brow at Shane as she entered the room. “Crack on to my girlfriend River Boy and you’ll regret it.”

“Nicky! Shane’s a friend and neighbour, chill out. Tea, two sugars yeah?” she rubbed the brunette’s shoulder on the way through to the kitchen. “Nicky?”

“No I’m going to head home sweetheart. Can’t promise I won’t say anything I regret with him here. Gotta remain professional ya know?”

Shane laughed at the blonde. “Cant handle your liquor? Can’t say I want to share my space with a cop anyway. See you later officer.”

“Prick! Speak to you in the morning babe.” He shouted across the room and staggered out the house leaving Martha with his boyfriend. Wasn’t quite sure where he was going to wait for him but anywhere off the street would do. 

“What do you see in that guy? He’s far too big for his boots.” Shane chuckled, joining her in the kitchen. 

“He’s amazing in bed, he’s cute, funny... He’s a cop. What’s not to love?”

“Love?! Jack is all those things isn’t he? Bit of a dick but not as much as the new boy.”

“I know you don’t like him Shane but he’s really nice. You should give him a chance.” She grinned, already creating wild stories in her head that Shane could be the secret boyfriend. “If you haven’t already.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m a River Boy Martha. We don’t associate with the guards. Do you want me to go to prison?”

Unsure she was on the right track, she acted normal and took his word for it in case she was too far off the mark. She poured his drink and yawned. “Fine. I’m really tired so let yourself out yeah? I’m off to bed.”

“Oh that’s fine then I’ll take my drink back with me. Probably just sit in the car and listen to the radio for a bit. See you tomorrow no doubt.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and left, noticing Nicky walking down the street in the distance. He pulled out his phone and text him to stop in his tracks, that he was getting in the car already and he’d be there in a second to drive them away for a chat.   
“She was going to bed so I left. Where should we go?”

“Back to mine. You can drive home later.”  
**

Still rocking in his chair, Mark clamped his hands over his ears and cried his heart out. Kian hated this. Seeing his best friend and boyfriend break down in a fit like a caged demented bear. This big, gorgeously broken man with tears streaming down his bearded cheeks broke the blonde’s heart every time. 

“Marky, what did I say? Just tell me what triggered it this time. I want to help ye.” Kian rubbed his fellas back and kissed his head, trying to calm him down. 

“Sshh, don’t speak, leave me alone. Don’t touch me!” Mark snapped, pushing him away to bash his arse cheeks on the edge of the dining table. “It wasn’t my fault. I didn’t ask for this. Just make it go away.”

“What? Just tell me what happened for crying out loud Mark, I can’t help when I don’t know what happened. Did someone hurt you?”

“Dirty. It was dirty and it hurt. He took my grandfather’s pocket watch.” Mark spluttered the first puzzle piece in 5 years. The first tiny detail of what happened the night that changed his life.

“Who did?”

“No... No shut up!” he screamed again, shaking his head in his lap as he squeezed his arms around his knees. “This is Shane’s fault. Bastard. Selfish prick.”

“Shane did this? Shane hurt you?”

Mark shook his head. That’s not what he meant at all. It’s Brax’s threats that had triggered the panic attack and the repeat conversation Kian had had with Shane that morning. He was blaming Shane for causing his fit but it made no sense to Kian.

“The man! He took everything from me. I want to kill him. If I ever see him again I’ll kill him.”

“What man Marky? I can help find him, come on tell me.”

“I don’t know.” He cried. “I don’t know him. I can’t fix this. He’s got away with it. I wish I’d gone to the stupid fucking party. The nightmares just won’t go away. Shane can get fucked.”

“How is this Shane’s fault?!”

“Prick. Fucking prick. Where he is?” Mark jumped to his feet, searching the house for their friend but when he looked out the window he noticed his car gone. “Fuckers gone out. Bastard.”

“Mark just stop it. What’s it gotta do with Shane?”

“Brax! I’m gonna ring his fucking neck if he comes home tonight. I won’t sleep now. I’ll be waiting.”

“Ugh, I give up. I’m going to bed. Please yourself.” Kian huffed, getting no sense from delirious Mark. Best just to let him settle on his own and not listen to more riddles. They’d made a small break through and that’s all the blonde expected out of it.  
**

2am Shane tried to creep into the house without waking the boys. All the lights were turned off as he stepped inside and turned the key in the lock but he wasn’t expecting to feel a fist cross his face the second he took a step towards the kitchen.

“Ah, what the fuck?!” he cried, hissing at the brush of knuckles cracking between his nose and brow. 

“That’s for getting me threatened today.” Mark broke his silence in a proud tone. “Cause me another panic attack and it won’t be your pretty face I go for next.”

“Jesus Mark! Fucking hell man, it hurt.”

“Don’t talk to me. You’re a selfish prick.”

“What?! Why?” Shane turned on the light in the hall to check his eye in the mirror. “Nice shot ass hole.”

“Kian told me what you said earlier. I thought we were friends. Why would you put us at risk?”

“What are you going on about, you big fucking freak?” he hadn’t been expecting a punch from Mark, ever, but it knocked some sense into him that they did have to look out for each other. “I’m sorry for whatever I did Mark.”

“You should be. Remember who your mates are Shane. I might be weak sometimes but I have myself and Kian to protect from Brax too ya know. I have my own issues without you causing trouble too. Where the hell have you been tonight anyway?”

“Well I’m not telling you now, tosser. Fuck off, I’m off to bed.” 

It was a calm response to being assaulted but Shane was so tired and head fucked from his discussion with Nicky, he didn’t make a fuss of Mark’s mood. It wasn’t like the big guy to act violently and he knew he’d gone into a fit before he left for Martha’s so he shrugged it off and accepted the good hiding for his own thoughts and secret actions over the weekend. He knew he was cruising for a bruising and it’d make Brax happy to see he’d been put in his place by someone. As soon as he got in bed he took a selfie by his bedside lamp and sent it to the Gardaí. He explained the attack and Nicky was shocked by the incident but made a joke to have Mark shook up though Shane protested to prevent anymore backlash. They bid each other goodnight and tried to sleep, Nicky due at work for 7am.  
**


	3. Chapter 3

“Why did you request the unmarked vehicle?” Jack finally asked as Nicky parked up the car in a lay-by close to Shore Road junction at Kellystown where a small track lead to the sea front. 

“Got a tip off last night. Want to sit and wait for the suppliers van. That way we’ll have the reg.”

“A tip off? Someone thinks they know the drug vehicle used? Who was it?” Jack was intrigued already. 

“Nothing to do with the murder but some old bloke mentioned a regular white van coming this way. He said he was suspicious because it never stayed longer than 5 minutes a time. Could be the supplier we’re looking for. If we can get the reg, it’d help right?”

“Of course. Doesn’t mean it was used in the murder but we can find out the tyres brand and if they match what the forensics found on the track to Cullenamore it could be a step forward. Did you get the blokes details?”

“Nah. Was pissed on my way home. Was swaying a bit so he asked if I was OK, told him I’m a cop and he just brought it up. Worth a shot though right?”

Jack rolled his eyes and huffed. “Fine. How was your date anyway?”

“Great. Got my hand in again.” Nicky winked with a cheeky grin, rubbing it in that he was supposedly shagging Martha. “Fit as fuck.”

“Glad it’s working out for ya mate. Lucky son of a bitch... So any idea how long we’re gonna be sat here?”

“He just said it’s usually before 10 so couple of hours maybe. Sit back and play Angry Birds for a bit. I’m off to call Martha.” Nicky smirked and climbed out of the driver's seat, wandering down the road to ring Shane. “Morning gorgeous, we’re in place now. How’s the eye?”

“Sore. Think Heath’s doing the pick up.”

“Gathered that. Did he murder Charlie?” Nicky asked out of the blue, hardly expecting a reply. Not even sure why he said it. 

“What?! Nick!”

“Sorry, I’m just asking. You’re not on the stand you know that.”

“Mate I’m not having this conversation with you right now. I don’t know alright?”

“Shane I’m sorry. Cecelia will be at mine for quarter to 8 tonight. If you want to be at mine for 7:30 let me know.”

“Depends what you’re going to do if you see the suppliers.”

“What? Nothing. We just need the registration plate that’s all. Told Jack some old bloke tipped me off. Why are you being awkward again? You’re a fucking pain in the arse.” Nicky laughed. “Do you want me to protect you or what?”

“Yes, sorry. It’s not even 8 in the morning yet, fuck off and let me wake up before throwing stupid questions at me.” Shane yawned and grunted. “Good luck.”

“Not a morning person. Noted. Ha-ha. Can’t wait to see you later.”

“Aww the Gardaí does mushy. How cute.”

“Shut ya face dickhead. Right I need to call Martha so keep me posted if you hear anything.”

“Yeah whatever. Laters Princess.” Shane groaned before hanging up. 

“Talking to your girlfriend?!” Mark snorted as he caught the tail end of the conversation. “She’s gonna love your shiner. Not such a pretty boy now are ye?”

“Fuck off cunt or you’ll be sporting your own.” Shane deliberately shoved Mark’s shoulder as he walked passed to go back to bed for half an hour. 

“Ooh touchy. Does she know you’re a mardy bastard in the morning?” Mark laughed but wasn’t expecting Shane to swing round and twat him round the head; Shane’s palm meeting his ear as his irritation reached boiling point. “Ow! The fuck man, I’m just teasing.”

“Mind your own business yeah? Who I see is up to me alright?”

“So there is someone? Good for you. About time.”

“Yeah it is. And it’s gonna be worth every second away from this fucked up gang. Sick of being controlled all the time Mark. If there was a way out of this without you getting hurt, I’d be gone. Bare that in mind next time you fancy smashing my face in.” He raised his eyebrow at the offender and walked away to crawl back under his duvet with his glass of water he ventured down for when Nicky called him. 

It was a decent day. A few cumulonimbus clouds across the sky blue ceiling of western Ireland, the sun beaming down on the rolling, lush green hills and fields, sparkly silver waves on the coast line. They were bored as the clock reached 9:42am and Jack was about to give up hope but without fail a white transit van sailed passed followed by a burgundy 2006 BMW M5. Heath’s car. They’d seen it parked round the back of the pub over the weekend. Nicky sat up in his seat and grinned with delight. 

“Bingo!”

Nicky set up the dash cam and set the timer. All they had to do now was record the time it took for them to pass again and catch the vehicle details, perhaps inconspicuously following them afterwards for a few miles to see where they were heading next. Jack was convinced Heath could be charged with intension to supply once he was on way back but he had to resist the urge to cuff the surfer just a little longer. It was the producers and lords they needed, not the chickens and lieutenants like Brax and Shane. If the main root of the problem could be taken down then Brax would lose his authority over the Irish River Boys and his suspected money laundering would come to an end too. Whilst every scrap of evidence was being collected to convict Brax and Heath for their part in the case, it was still the murder of Charlie that was top of their priorities. The more experienced guard was chomping on the bit. Despite getting on with the boys, he still wanted to see Shane and Mark punished for their involvement but if Nicky had anything to do with it, his boyfriend would be spared a charge once he explained how he’d been an accessory in gaining the break through. Once he’d pulled a few strings with the sergeant, Shane’s witness protection would prevent the whistle blower from being locked up; proving he and his best friends were controlled, influenced, abused and violently manipulated and threatened to do as the Aussies said.   
**

Got the goods. Mark and I have drops this arvo. Sligo locations. Using my car. 

Checking his phone during a piss break on his return to the station, Nicky saw the text from Shane. 

What class? Got the reg. Will be at the station myself. There’s only one patrol out today, most are at phoenix park beer festival but be vigilant. 

Nicky I don’t want this shit in my possession. I don’t know what to do. If I get caught with this I’m dead. Fucking help me!

What could be worse than the crack and meth hybrids he’d already been dealing? This was something else. Something new to Ireland and although it might not cause sudden deaths, the catastrophic effects it did cause would cause the NHS great trauma and expense. 

“Hey, it’s me. What the hell do you have now?!” Nicky rang him, intrigued and worried. 

“Nick this stuff is fucking bad. I can’t deal this filth. I’m so scared.”

“What is it? How much is it going for?”

“Huh, you’ve heard of Krokodil right? This is worse and twice the price. I feel sick.”

“Jesus. Fucking hell... OK, just don’t make a drop. Don’t even put it in your car for god sake. I’ll think of something.”

“Nicky if I don’t sell this shit, Brax is going to break my neck.”

“Don’t worry. How much is the batch worth?” Nicky bit his thumb nail, racking his brains as to how to protect Shane this time. 

“500. Got 10 hits to shift today but he’s got 50 to deal this week alone. If it takes off which it will, the price will increase and this is hot shit Nicky. It’s highly addictive and Sligo will be full of flesh eating zombies within weeks. I can’t do this.”

“500 is nothing. Leave it with me... Shane I think I need you to come to the station. If you’re too scared to do this I have to speak to the chief. I have to protect you.”

“The station? With the drugs?”

“I’m sorry but I think the only way out of this is to come in and do a deal with us, officially. Mark and Kian don’t even have to know. No one needs to know about us but if you tell them you’re willing to cooperate for protection, we can have this over with sooner than we hoped.”

“What?! I can’t dob them in Nicky. Brax will kill me.”

“He won’t know it was you. We’ll be able to give you the cash to pay him as if you sold it. It’ll be recorded so we can recover and claim it back with the charges. You’ll have to give us as much information as you can about the drugs even if you deny knowing about the murder. The only way I can stop you dealing is if you come in and we arrange something. I promise you’ll be safe guarded and advised through the whole thing.”

“I don’t know, I... I want this to be over but... Mark’s coming with me.”

“Fall out with him. Do something to stop him coming with you.” Nicky suggested, desperate to get his man into the cop shop to strike a deal. “Punch him, I don’t know. Fucker deserves it after the fist he gave you.”

“Slapped him this morning.” Shane laughed nervously. “Let me think... He hates the petrol station. He refuses to be in the car when I fill up. I’ll tell him I’m off for gas then I’ll pick him up but I’ll come straight to you. Should I bring the drugs?”

“Of course. If you get stopped, tell who ever to call me. You won’t be charged. Are you really going to do this?” Nicky’s face lit up. “You’re willing to blow the whistle?”

“I don’t want to but I have to. There’s no fucking way I’m dealing this crap. I’m just scared shitless this will come back on me.”

“Babe it won’t. I promise. No one will know about us. Don’t mention I suggested it, just come in and say you need to provide valuable information in return for anonymity. Jack or I will be on the desk anyway. You can do this Shane.”

“OK... Fucking hell I must be insane. You’re such a bad influence on me.” Shane chuckled, being ironic. “I need to get a move on then. You do know if Brax gets wind of this...”

“Relax. It’s going to be fine. Just get here as soon as you can. Think about how you can talk Mark out of coming first before just driving off. You don’t want him bitching to Brax about you working alone. Don’t give him any reason to suspect.”

“OK... I’ll tell him I’ve got a full delivery in one drop. That I don’t need him and that I’m going to visit my mam again afterwards. It’ll buy me the time I need at the station. You’ll just have to let me answer the phone if he rings me.”

“Not a problem. I’ll try and deal with it all myself. Jack prefers being on the desk anyway. We can talk better just you and me. Trust me Shane, I’m going to make this better.”

“You’re amazing Nicky. I don’t know why you’re doing all this for me.” Shane frowned down the phone. He had no idea what he’d done to deserve this. Nicky was his angel, offering to turn his life around and allow him to be free. If he could get away with this, he’d owe Nicky his life. 

“I want you.” 

“You better be worth it.”

“Ha-ha, I will be.”  
**

Mark sat in the back garden with a bottle of berry Kopparberg in his hand, lazing in the recliner lounger as Kian sparked up the BBQ, living the life on his day off. None of them needed to be back in Brax’s spitting range until check-in the next day, except Shane who’d have to drop off the drug money before he could chill out. The blonde had warned him of their plans for the afternoon and Shane promised to get home ASAP, telling them to invite Martha round when she finished work. Just an early shift for the brunette beauty today. The lads speculated about who their friend could be seeing, under the impression the jockey had been sneaking out to see a girl all weekend. No one sprung to mind and it was starting to play on Mark’s mind. 

“You don’t think it’s one of them youngsters do you?” Mark asked referring to Sasha the rock chick. 

“God I hope not. She was about 10 years younger than him. It wouldn’t be anything serious.” Kian claimed, defending his friend. “He deserves to be with someone that makes him happy.”

“Even if it means he fucks us off and puts us at risk? The gear today is crazy stuff. I should have been with him.”

“Let him make his own mistakes Marky. He needs to take control of his own life.”

Taking an early dart from work, Martha made herself known as she walked down the side path straight into the garden. “Only me.”

“Hey sweetheart. Good to see ya.” Kian greeted her with a kiss to her cheek. “You still up for the Barbie? Shane should be back soon. Did you see him last night?”

“Yes and yes. Just need to get showered and changed. He said you’d fallen out but didn’t talk about it. Made him a cuppa and he left.”

Mark sniggered. “He didn’t roll in til 2am.”

“What? He was only there 5 minutes. He did say he would sit in the car a while. Must have driven off somewhere. Is he OK?”

The brunette shrugged. “Black eye.”

Martha gasped in shock. “How did he get that?”

Mark proudly smiled. “I gave him it.”

She tutted and rolled her eyes. “You boys! Don’t think he was keen to see Nicky sat on my couch. Thought for a second he’d got in a fight with a guard. Nicky was pretty drunk when he left.”

“Remind us why you’re seeing that creep again?” Mark chuckled. 

“He’s not a creep Mark. If you gave him a chance you’d find out you have a lot in common. He’s a sweetie.” She grinned, acting as if she was madly in love with the self-confessed puff. “He’s only got my best interests at heart.”

“You mean he’s keeping an eye on us? How does he feel about you socialising with River Boys?”

“It’s fine. As long as you don’t involve me in your business. Anyway I’ll go get changed and be back shortly.”

Kian nodded as he stood back from the flames taking light of the charcoal. “Great. See you soon.”

The minute Martha stepped through her front door she received a text message. 

Important! Need to talk tomorrow. Official visit but inconspicuous. Shit just got serious. Hugs, Nicky.Xxx

All sorts of scenarios filled her imagination as she feared the case was in trouble. She knew nothing that could help but began to worry that being friends with the boys and pretending to date the Gardaí could be more trouble than it’s worth.   
**

It was officially sorted. Shane was on the system and with Jack’s help, the first step had been taken to ensure Shane’s anonymity and protection. He felt slight relief as Jack left the room to assist a colleague in questioning a recent arrest, sitting back in his seat after he signed the relevant forms to confirm his contractual part in the case. He took a deep breath and chewed his bottom lip, peering up at Nicky through damp lashes. 

Nicky reached across the table and cupped Shane’s hands in his knowing the camera in the room was faulty and on the maintenance list to be fixed. “You’re safe now. And so are Mark and Kian. They can’t know about this though remember. It has to be as natural as possible.”

“I don’t know what to say Nicky. I’m so scared and I know you’ll look after me but... I don’t understand why you’re doing this for me? We only met 3 days ago.”

“I know it’s crazy but I just feel, I dunno... There’s something between us right? It’s not just me hoping or being played?”

Shane shook his head with doe eyes. “I thought you were using me. I know doing this now should confirm you’re not but everyone else will see it that way. Can you blame me for still thinking it?”

“Of course not, I understand why you’d think that but it’s not common practice ya know. Coming in as a whistle blower doesn’t always guarantee you anonymity. You’re lucky I could get you the witness protection program too. I wouldn’t give that to just anyone. If I didn’t care about you Shane, you’d be calling Brax to be bailed out right now and I’d be laughing in ya face.” He leaned closer to the brunette and smiled. “No one knows about us except Cecelia but I’ve asked to speak to Martha tomorrow. She’s going to be forced into confidentiality but she’ll know everything too. I don’t want her getting suspicious and blowing our cover.”

“You do know I’m not tricking you too right? This isn’t some fucked up conspiracy. I am gay but you’re the only person that knows that. Minus the one night stands obviously.”

“I just hope when this is all over there’s chance for us. It’s gonna be hard babe but I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you and the lads. If Mark needs counselling I can arrange it.”

“No fucking idea what’s up with him but he’s becoming a liability.” Shane pointed to his bruised eye and huffed. “Idiot. Suppose I deserved it though. When they find out about this I’m sure Kian will slap me himself.”

“No he won’t. He’ll thank you for being brave and saving them years in prison. Maybe then they’ll appreciate I’m a good cop and accept you’re with me.”

Nicky checked the time and suggested Shane got home to pay off Brax. The stash was locked up safely in the station to be used as evidence against the Braxton’s with the understanding more would be handed over in the coming days. Jack was to contact their undercover cops to 'buy' some of the hits in Sligo and Strandhill so Mark could see some hand overs to push him off the scent but lying to him made Shane feel sick. He had to take some time out to prepare himself to deceive his best friends but knew it’d be worth the lies in the end. Hiding his relationship with Nicky would be the most difficult but with Cecelia on the scene soon, she’d help keep him focused. 

“So are you coming to mine later?”

“Kian’s doing a BBQ. Said I’d go and clear the air. Can I call you afterwards? I don’t think swanning off again yet is wise. If Brax and Heath are coming round I should be there. Sorry.”

“No that’s fine. I’ll record the conversation with Ce and send you it. Call me when you’re ready. Be extra nice to Martha today. If the lads think you’re becoming good friends they’ll understand you being at her house for coffee more often. Obviously I’ll be there. It’s just easier to see you that way sometimes.”

“Shame I can’t just fake a relationship with her but then you wouldn’t have the need to be friends with her really.”

“Cecelia can be Martha’s friend. We’ll work it out, don’t worry.” Nicky placed his hand on Shane’s back and ushered him towards the door. His touch sent shivers down the brunette’s spine and caused a huge smile across his face. Whispering into his ear, Nicky reached out for the door handle. “Roll on Thursday gorgeous.”

“Can’t wait.” Shane replied, sneaking in a crafty peck to Nicky’s lips. “Thank you. I owe you everything.”

Nicky wanted to throw Shane up against the door but the small frosted glass window wouldn’t offer much privacy and he was in uniform, supposed to be professional. “You can show me how thankful you are then.”

“Keep the uniform on?”

“Ha-ha, fantasy play already?” 

“Take you right now if I could.” He mumbled under his breath. “See you later.”

Nicky grinned as he opened the door to a reception of undesirables. “Try and keep your nose clean Filan. Purple isn’t your colour.” 

Turning back to his well known tough boy act, Shane scoffed at the guard for the benefit of his colleagues, watching from the main desk. “Fuck you. Arrest me when you’ve found some real evidence then yeah? Idiots, the lot of ye.” 

“Keep walking unless you fancy a caution.” Nicky watched Shane saunter out of the station, trying to hide his lustful grin. It was kinda exciting to sneak around even though he wished it was simple. Within a minute he felt his personal mobile vibrate in his pocket. When he made his way to his office, he checked it to find a message from his boy. A simple love heart emoji. That’s all Nicky needed to get him through the last 4 hours of his shift. 

Entering behind him a few seconds later Jack flicked the switch on the kettle and stared at Nicky. “What do you reckon? Where’s his guilty conscience come from?”

“Hmm? Who’s?”

Jack raised his brow at Nicky with a smirk. “Filan, you know who?” Nicky shrugged. “He’s running scared Nicky and it’s only since you rocked up in town.”

“Are you complaining?! You’re the one that said he was the most normal. Maybe he does have a conscience. He did the right thing Jack. That ShamKroc is fucking lethal. I don’t want to see people walking around town with half a face.”

“Its alright giving Braxton the cash but what about when the buyers get up on him about not getting their hit?”

“Are you stupid? Were you not listening in there? Shane’s given us contacts. It’s our job to find the skanky twats and warn them not to contact Brax or Shane about it unless they want to spend time behind bars. We have the authority to threaten people to find a new dealer or be charged. I’m on it.”

“You seem pretty keen to protect him.” 

“He’s Martha’s friend. I don’t like it either but she’s important and if it means she’s safe that’s all I’m bothered about.” Nicky sat at his desk and shuffled a few papers, watching Jack out the corner of his eye. “Thought you wanted to catch Charlie’s killer.”

“Shane’s going to lead us to him is he?”

“I don’t know Jack but at least this way there isn’t a chain of rotting limbs walking around Sligo. If we can contain the supply here, we’ll know how far out they’re dealing. It’s not going to happen over night mate but it’s a start right?”

“Hmm. Could see how terrified he was I guess. Do you think it really was Crazy that punched him?”

“To be honest, I don’t really care. I’m sure he deserved it who ever did it. Now let me file these pieces and we can get off into town.”

“You noted Filan’s number in the works mobile yeah?”

“Yes!” he snapped. “I’m not incompetent ya know. Fuck sake.”

“Alright, no need to get arsey with me man. We’re equals remember.”

“Not by the time I’ve finished.” He groaned under his breath, quiet enough that Jack didn’t understand his mumbles. 

Finishing work for the day was the only thing he could focus on now. He was relieved Shane was on their side but there was still so much to do to make sure his relationship with the enemy was kept under wraps. Talking with Cecelia and Martha was something he couldn’t be bothered to think about right now when all he wanted was to be laying at Lough Gill on the blanket with Shane again, forgetting the rest of the world existed. He hated to admit it but he was falling for the boy faster than he thought possible. Their afternoon together in 2 days couldn’t come quick enough.   
**

What a beautiful night in Scarden it was. 9:15pm and the skies were only just turning a burnt shade of amber as the sun began to make its way to the horizon; A clear view to the south of the yard where the clouds had melted away and the evening breeze from off shore delicately blew through the strands of Martha’s hair.   
Sat next to Ricky, the girls talked boy bands as the River Boys joked about superheroes and what power they’d have. Shane’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Nicky. He knew it without looking. He excused himself to grab some more cans from the fridge and checked he was right before shouting to Kian that he needed to call his mam. It gave him time to start listening to the message Nicky had recorded regarding the plan for Cecelia to become his 'girlfriend'. He was shaking with nerves as he threw in some random sentences when he noticed anyone looking at him through the window or approaching the house, just to show his lips moving as if he was having a real conversation. It sounded viable.   
She’d introduce herself as Shane’s new piece once Martha had heard the plan and be passed off as the home town girl’s friend. They’d have supposedly met on the beach Saturday and been in contact since, Shane having been with her on Monday, sneaking in the odd visit and conversation when no one was around. It’d be Friday night in the pub when he invited her to join the group for their usual booze up. But before he could finish listening to the voice message, Martha interrupted. 

“Sorry babe, Nicky’s just calling me. Don’t mind me.” She whispered, making her way to the front of the house. “I’m at the BBQ, did you fancy coming?” 

Shane’s eyes lit up. Nicky could be coming to pass himself off as Martha’s boyfriend. Oh god. He continued to listen in on his own phone as he watched the girl smiling down the line to his boyfriend. Not even sure Nicky called himself that. Not sure they were at that label yet. 

“If you want them to think we’re together, why shouldn’t I invite you? There’s no law to say you can’t be acquainted is there?”

“No of course not but it’d be a bit weird.” Nicky protested an invitation but if he got to see Shane he thought he could make an exception this time. “They don’t want me homing in.”

“Nicky they just have to accept I’m with you. They’ll behave I promise. They won’t give you any reason to call Jack. They never talk shop when I’m around. Brax is more interested in making himself look good for Ricky anyway... Please just come for an hour. It’ll be fun.”

“Fine. If you’re sure they won’t mind. Not like it’s your house.”

“I’ll throw in the L word. If they think I’m madly in love with you they won’t begrudge me the opportunity to spend time with you.” 

Nicky laughed. “Christ. The L word? Bit extreme isn’t it?”

“Come on, please.”

“OK, I’ll be 5 minutes. They at number 7?”

“Yep. Just come straight to the yard. Yay, see you soon.”

“Alright mam, see you Thursday. Love ye, bye.” Shane quickly spluttered and turned his screen off, shutting down the message for now. As Martha re-entered the house she had a huge smile on her face. “What’s lover boy said now?”

“He’s coming over for an hour so be nice!” she threatened him, poking her finger to Shane’s chest. “He’s coming as my boyfriend not a guard so try and get along with him.”

“You’ve invited Nicky to Kian’s BBQ? Ha-ha, good luck.” 

The other boys didn’t seem to mind. Brax was too invested in chatting up the blonde girl, Heath was busy tapping away on his laptop putting some finishing touches to the opening night of his refurbished arcade and Kian & Mark were cuddled up on the same chair with the privacy they needed to be a couple around everyone. Their reaction to her invited guest came as a surprise. Maybe they could accept him for a bit. If she was happy, they were happy and Kian made it known he actually preferred Nicky to Jack. Shane wasn’t as vocal about his feelings but inside he was jumping for joy. A crafty snog in the bathroom might be on the cards.   
It really was just 5 minutes until the sexy blonde arrived. Wearing his favourite jeans again and a casual V neck, grey t-shirt under a beige leather jacket. Carrying a crate of beers under his arm and Mark’s stolen cans in his other hand, he entered the garden to be greeted by almost everyone. 

“Hey gorgeous.” Martha bounced to his side to give him a kiss. Shane avoided looking, he wasn’t one of the lads to say hello on his arrival. “No need to introduce anyone is there?” she smiled. 

“Alright lads?” Nicky nodded at Heath and saluted Kian as Mark kept his head down, hiding his face under a baseball cap, the other rude boy not to greet the Gardaí. “Good night for it. The beers are for everyone.” 

“Oh brilliant, cheers chap.” Brax stood to shake Nicky’s hand and offer him his seat. Darryl was the most welcoming. Good at faking a smile and putting on a professional face. “Those two for you then?” he chuckled, pointing at the 2 strays in his other hand. 

“No mate. These belong to Mark.” 

Hearing his name mentioned, the shy one looked and smiled. “About fucking time, thief!”

“Sorry man. How’s the lip?”

“Kian kissed it better thanks.” He grinned and settled back down to snuggle his man’s chest. 

“Filan.” Nicky sniggered. “Pretty shiner. Purple doesn’t suit ya.” 

Shane had heard him say it once already but it still made him smile. “Cant keep away from her can ya?”

“Why should I? She’s my girlfriend dumbass.” Nicky frowned at Shane for good measure and took his seat next to the girls. He pulled Martha towards him and kissed her cheek, failing to give attention to anyone else for a minute. He tucked her hair around her ear and whispered, “Tomorrow?” She nodded and smiled, agreeing to whatever he had to talk to her about. 

“Must be time for a drinking game.” Kian announced, patting Mark to get off him. “Drink while you think?”

“Driving mate, sorry. Work tomorrow.” Nicky had no intention of ever getting drunk in their company. Not after he spilled his guts to Martha. “I can play on Coke though.” 

“Pussy.” Shane giggled. Just looking at Nicky’s beautiful face from across the garden turned him on. If anyone caught him staring he’d claim he was besotted with Martha even if he was about to introduce Cecelia to the mix. “Got a fun bone in your body?!”

“Back off mate.” Nicky scolded him. “Could ask the same of you, ya miserable fucker.”

Brax slapped Shane round the head unexpectedly. “Be nice!”

Ugh. Nicky’s blood ran cold. Bastard!   
'Keep your fucking hands off my Shane.’ He screamed in his head. He noticed his boy glance over at him, rolling his hazel eyes as he rubbed the patch of hair Brax had scruffed up but the second he looked away Nicky saw the genuine drop of his face. Like he was unable to even find the strength to pretend anymore. The desperation to be free of Darryl’s claws was evident and Nicky hated having to see it first hand. Had it been anyone else, he’d laugh it off but he knew what Brax had done to Kian’s formerly dashing looks and it was no laughing matter. 

“Can I nip to the toilet first? Upstairs like Martha’s?” 

Shane took his chances and nodded. “I need to go anyway so I’ll show you up there.”

Heath laughed, closing his laptop for the night, yelling a tease in Shane’s direction. “Good boy. Playing nicely for a change.”

Shane flicked his middle finger up to him in retaliation but kept his mouth shut to avoid another whack to his lug hole. “Fucking dick. Can’t stand that guy. Smug bastard.” He grumbled under his breath so only Nicky heard him.   
Once the boys were tucked away upstairs, Shane wrapped his arms around Nicky’s neck for a hug. 

“Hey what was that for?” Nicky stroked Shane’s cheek, listening out for anyone walking up the creaky steps. 

“Cant believe you’re in my house and I can’t push you in my bedroom.” He smirked, tilting his head towards his bedroom door. “Wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. Why did you come?”

“Because Martha insisted you lads have to accept I’m her boyfriend. To be fair, apart from him slapping you, Brax has been fine all weekend. So has Kian. Ironic how the baddest are the most polite.” He chuckled. 

“Kian isn’t a bad guy. He doesn’t deal he just intimidates when he needs to and talks people into buying. But he’s a sound lad, I’m glad you can see that.”

“Course. Like I said, he’s the only one that hasn’t made any snide comments. Mark’s really quiet. Is he alright?”

“Fragile... So I didn’t have chance to hear the entire message. But Friday night? You gonna be around?”

“Yeah I finish at 4 on Friday. Not in til 3 on Saturday afternoon so I’ll stop at Martha’s house. Take you for breakfast in the morning?”

“Like a date? What’s the plan Thursday? Is that a date?” Shane wasn’t sure he was ready for a negative response but took his chances. 

“Call it what you want. Date, hanging out... Trying to resist the urge to fuck me in public.” He grinned, winking. 

“Ha-ha, yeah... Wish I could just announce to everyone you’re my boyfriend right now.”

“Boyfriend?!” Nicky puffed a pop of air out his lips, pushed his bottom lip out and nodded. “Is that what I am to you? Already?”

“Nicky you’re about to save my life man. I want to marry you tomorrow. Of course I want to call you my boyfriend. Beats Martha claiming it every 5 fucking minutes.” Shane’s bitter tone amused the blonde. It was kinda cute. 

“You’re so adorable when you’re jealous.” Nicky tickled under Shane’s chin, mocking his sweet vulnerability. “Aww poor baby missing out?”

“Fuck off, knob!” Shane slapped Nicky’s hand away but the guard grabbed his wrist in a reflex and pushed the smaller boy against the wall. “Not here.”

“Fuck I want you.” Nicky kissed the brunette’s neck. “Wish you were mine too.”

“I am yours. Be mine.” He begged in a whisper, his heart beat racing in fear of being caught. “Need you Nicky. Want you.”

“I’m all yours gorgeous.” He held his hand around Shane’s neck and slowly pressed his lips onto the boy’s soft pout. “Thursday.” He smiled as he pulled away. 

“Yeah.” Shane cleared his throat and repositioned himself as the excitement showed in his jeans. “Toilet.” He pointed and entered the bathroom to splash cold water over his pulse points. “Fuck... Hold it together Filan.”

As soon as Shane re-joined the group downstairs, Mark made his way towards the bathroom too. Assuming Nicky would be finished shortly. He climbed the steps in his tipsy state and waited outside the door as he heard the chain flush and taps run. 

“Oh, hey.” Nicky smiled finding Mark on the landing. “Bit of a queue now ey?”

Mark bashfully smiled and looked Nicky in the eye for the first time in days. “Wow you’ve got beautiful eyes.”

The blonde was embarrassed now. He thought it was strange that Mark would say such a thing to a 'straight' guy. Especially when he was unavailable. They both were.   
“Um, thanks. I think.”

“Sorry, I’m a bit drunk. Just never really looked at you before. You look familiar.”

“Do I?! Must have one of them faces.” Nicky tried to walk away but Mark grabbed his arm to stop him. 

“Just you look after our top girl. She’s a diamond. She fucking adores you. Dunno why but suppose you are quite cute.”

“Right... Thanks. See you downstairs.” He sniggered, overwhelmed by Mark’s sudden flirting. Shane was still in the kitchen pouring himself a drink so Nicky stood beside him with enough distance to be cool. “Think Mark fancies me.”

“What?! No chance.” Shane howled. Likely story, not! “As if.”

“He said I have beautiful eyes and I’m quite cute.” His cheeks blushed as he giggled. “Think he’s pissed.”

“He can think again if he thinks he’s getting a cheeky snog from you. Dickhead has a boyfriend already.”

“God you’re so hot when you’re like this. He ain’t my type remember.” Nicky laughed as Martha joined her two favourite boys. 

“Who isn’t your type?” 

“Oh it’s nothing.” He shrugged it off and kissed her cheek, wishing he could feel stubble on his lips instead of foundation. “Let’s play this game then.”

Throughout the entire game Nicky felt like all eyes were on him. Realistically 3 pairs of them were staring far too much but all for very different reasons. Martha was trying to imply she couldn’t take her eyes off the stunning blonde, Shane just really couldn’t but when he realised he was doing it he pulled a few faces and dirty looks and Mark was wracking his brains as to where he’d seen those sparkly, diamond blue orbs before. In a dream? In a magazine? A one night stand? No he’d remember if he’d slept with a beaut like that. His golden strands and red whiskers against his pale Irish skin and shimmering eyes were a picture he wouldn’t have forgotten easily. Right?!

He’d been there over an hour but the time had flown by and much to everyone’s surprise he’d got on well with them. He hated the Braxton’s guts and felt two faced but felt the nicer he was to them, the less chance they’d suspect he was ready to cash them aside with Shane’s help. Secretly he didn’t want to leave. He felt comfortable around Shane, Martha, Ricky and even Kian but he had to keep some professionalism about him and so called it a night. Shane’s belly ripped in two when he realised he couldn’t be the one to give the guard a kiss goodbye. The sooner Martha knew the truth the better. Maybe then she’d be more sensitive about his feelings when she rubbed herself all over the skinny Dubliner. 

Brax did as he had on his arrival and shook Nicky’s hand, thanking him again for the beers and his company. He proved to be a half decent guy behind his tough man facade; Up for a laugh, minding his manners and putting on a gentlemanly front to impress Ricky. Bit pathetic really Nicky thought. Heath took his hand in turn. Not because he wanted to, just cause Darryl glared at him to do it. Feeling it was only fair, Kian followed suit but he only received a two finger salute from Mark, too lazy to get up from his drunken slumber. 

“See ya mate.” Shane smiled and nodded, refusing a hand shake also. If he touched Nicky he knew the spark would blow their cover. “I’m sure you’ll grace us with your company again soon.”

“Friday in the Strand. See you there.” 

“Can hardly wait.” Shane sniggered as Martha walked him to the front gate. “Not gonna go away is he?” he turned to Kian. 

“Garda aside he seems alright to me.” The younger surfie defended the newbie causing Shane to shut up.

Out front Martha gave Nicky a hug. “Was fun like I promised right?”

“Yeah... They’re alright I guess. Look about tomorrow... Just prepare yourself. We’re dealing with some crazy shit now.”

“I’m not at risk am I?”

Nicky sighed and looked down at the floor. He hated lying but risk wasn’t quite the word to describe it. “No it’s... It’s complicated. I just need you to know I think you’re amazing for sticking by me. You don’t owe me anything.”

“Should I be scared?”

“No of course not. If anything you’re safer with me. Thanks for tonight though. It was fun. See you in the morning.” He kissed her cheek and opened his driver’s car door ready to roll. “Enjoy the rest of your night sweetheart.”

“Sure thing officer.”   
When she joined the others back in the garden Shane asked if she was OK. There was no smile left on her face as if Nicky had stolen it and ran away it.  
“Yeah I’m fine. He’s just so lovely I wish he could have stayed longer. I think I’m in love with him.”

If Shane didn’t already know their relationship was fake now he’d have believed her but now he wasn’t sure if she was going along with his request to stage it or if there was a slight possibility she could still genuinely have feelings for the cop. He tried to convince himself she was just a good actress but had to lie himself, pretending to be happy for her. Least til morning.

“Aww that’s sweet. Does he know?”

“No... I think he might feel the same though.”

Lies. She was definitely just playing it. She was wrong. Shane knew she was bullshitting on that one.   
“Great then. If you really love him babe I’ll try my best to tone down the bitchy comments. For you.”

Surprising him, the pretty brunette wrapped her arms around his waist and gave him a cuddle. “I hope he feels the same way. He’s amazing.”

'I know he is. And tomorrow you’ll fucking know I know.’  
“He’s a fucking idiot if he doesn’t.”  
Shane kissed her crown and held her in for a few minutes, sharing her body heat. Figured he owed her a hug just for keeping Nicky’s secret. Tomorrow she’d know everything and the embrace would be a whole lot different.   
**

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Martha was flabbergasted. Nicky and Shane? Made no sense. “Oh my god Nicky.”

“Now do you understand why I had to keep it quiet?”

“Aww it’s so sweet though. Shane’s so lovely. I can’t believe he’s in this mess.”

“So you’re OK with this? You were great last night.” Nicky rubbed her hand over the table with a look of admiration on his face. “Right little actress aren’t ya? I hope Cecelia is as good.”

“This is ridiculous Nicky. You shouldn’t have to have fake girlfriends. I understand and all but it really sucks. You’re the best looking couple in town.”

“Ha-ha, with the exception of you and me of course... I really like him babe. I know I’m crazy but Jaysus he’s gorgeous isn’t he? He did the right thing on his own accord. He’s trapped and I can’t bear to imagine him being broken like Mark.”

Martha smiled. She could see the genuine concern on the guard’s face and found it endearing. “You’re such an incredible guy Nicky. Shane’s very lucky to have you on his side. I hope this works out for you. I feel guilty now. Told Shane last night I’d fallen in love with you. Think he bought it too.”

“God I hope not! You were joking?”

“Of course, relax. I’ve always wanted to be an actress and now I get to play along a bit longer. What’s Cecelia like? I can be her genuine friend can’t I? Not just for show.”

“If you get along then sure. The more natural it feels the better. Any excuse to have to spend time socialising with Shane is good enough for me.” An embarrassed pinkness filled his cheeks as he felt like a teenage school boy with a crush on his teacher.

“Aww... Nicky you’re so adorable. As fucked up as this whole thing is, it’ll make for an incredible story one day. It will bring us closer together too.” 

“That’s all I’m worried about. Stopping you from being happy with Jack will kill me. You deserve so much better than this.” He frowned, feeling guilty. 

“Oh babe don’t worry. This is the most exciting thing in my life.” She joked. “Knowing I have such a beautiful friend like you is good enough for me. Come here!” Martha pulled the uniformed copper into her arms and squeezed him hard. “I do love you, so much.”

“Thanks sweetheart. I love you too. I’m just sorry it’s not in the way you expected.” He kissed her cheek and sat back, holding her hands in his. “We’ll pay for everything but your support is priceless. Thank you.”

“So can I invite the other half of Shnicky round for coffee now or what?” she beamed with joy, enthusiastic to give Shane a hug of approval. 

“He’s doing the drops I think.” Nicky checked his watch. Was 11am already. “But talk to him when you can. Give him a hug and kiss from me.” 

“You know I did used to fancy Shane. A few years ago now but before I met Jack I had my eye on him. He’s gorgeous Nicky. You picked a good one.”

“No kidding. He’s perfect.”  
**

The heat wave was still going strong. He was getting bored of the coast already though so drove Shane to Parke’s Castle north east of the Lough Gill boarder for a spot of lunch in their 17th century, newly opened tea rooms. Not too girlie he hoped but the country boy loved it. The fresh air and stunning views of the Lough were his favourite thing, beside the desire to hack through the woodlands around it. He’d get Nicky on a horse one day. That was one thing Kian and Mark never wanted to do with him. The freedom to be themselves made for a perfect afternoon, getting to know each other without the mention of Brax or drugs. 

Shane fantasised about being able to walk down Strandhill promenade, hand in hand with his boyfriend for the first time. How long it’d be until that could happen was anyone’s guess right now. 

Taking a rest on a bench over looking the sparkling water rippling as ducks swam by, Shane linked his fingers into Nicky’s and bowed his head preparing to make a confession.  
“I need to tell you something. I want you to know before I make a statement.”  
Nicky’s ears pricked forward. Attention gained.   
“I lied... I erm... Fuck.”

‘Oh no. Lied about what?'  
“What is it? You’re scaring me.”

“I know who was in involved in Charlie’s murder.” He admitted. “I know I said I didn’t know but I do.”

“OK... Thought you knew.” He grinned, squinting in the sunshine. “Wanna tell me?”

“Heath was there when it happened. Heard them talking one night. By the sounds of it, it wasn’t Heath that killed her but he was there. You need to question him again. The suppliers ran her down in the van in the end. She was spying in the woods and when she was crawling out of the car they... They stabbed her. The lads took off and left Heath to deal with it.”

“Fuck... What did Darryl have to do with it?”

“Heath left her and came back to the pub. Later on they both disappeared for an hour. Suspect they threw her body down on the shore and cleaned up the crime scene. They haven’t used that spot for the handover since... I’m so sorry Nicky.”

“Hey, it’s OK this isn’t your fault.” Nicky lunged into his arms, stroking the back of the brunette’s hair. “I understand.”

Bursting into tears, Shane sobbed on the cop’s shoulder, shaking like a leaf on a windy day. “They just disregarded her like she was nothing and when we heard she was dead they didn’t bat an eyelid. I’m so fucking scared Nicky.”

“You’re safe now I promise. I’ve got you. I’ve got ya. They’re not going to hurt you.” Nicky rubbed the tears away from under Shane’s eyes and kissed his nose. “I need you to make the statement. The sooner we have a witness statement, the sooner we can form a sting.”

“What if they find out it was me that dobbed them in? Brax will break my neck Nicky.”

“He won’t know... If he thinks you’ve been with Mark dealing then...”

“Cecelia will have to give me an alibi for every time I’m not around. Even though you’re a more reliable source. If I come to the station tomorrow Mark will have to know what’s going on. He’s a fucking liability, I don’t trust him.”

“I’ll stage an arrest. We can set it up so Jack and I catch you on a drop. Jack can take your statement and I’ll speak to Mark. Unofficially question him. He won’t have a clue what you’re doing... None of this is impossible. We’re cops. There’s ways around everything.” Nicky reassured his boy, upset to see the hard man cry. “You have to trust me babe. Mark doesn’t need to know. I agree he’s not in a fit state to comprehend this. I just wish I knew what he was so messed up about.”

“Ask him under caution. He might feel under pressure to say something. He told Kian he’d felt dirty and lost his grandad’s pocket watch or something. That’s all he’s ever muttered about it.”

Nicky’s face dropped. “Pocket watch?” A cold rush of blood showered his body, the sting of fear and realisation as his mouth watered and his eyes flickered. Luckily Shane wasn’t paying attention to his facial expressions. 

“Antique apparently. The only thing he had worth money. Taken he said.” Shane wiped his eyes on his jacket sleeve and shrugged. “Assume it was stolen. We can’t really make head nor tail of it. We’ve worked out he freaks out and fits when his Grandad is mentioned, if Kian or I talk about the party we went to without him or someone makes a joke about anal!” 

“Right... You think it happened when you were out of town then?”

“We had to move house from Strandhill to Scarden because of it. We had a beautiful bungalow on Shore Road opposite the bus stop... The day we got back he’d packed his bedroom up threatening to leave. Petrified to go outside for months he was. It was before he and Kian were together so he said he was off to stay with his mum in Sligo. Our old mate Kelvin was about to move out of Scarden so he gave us the lease and he moved the next week. Never got much of an explanation. We just understood what ever happened to him, some bastard should lose his head over it... Suppose it made us more determined to build a reputation for ourselves ya know. We had to protect Mark so when the Braxtons rolled into town years later it was fight them or join them. At the time, the protection Brax offered sounded promising. Just didn’t know I’d still be stuck in this position over a year later.”

Nicky was silent, chewing his cheek as he tired to compute everything Shane had told him. “That’s fucked up mate. I’m sorry you’ve had all this hanging over you. Doesn’t Mark know who hurt him?”

“If he does, he’s not saying.”

Mark had said it last night. 'You look familiar.’ That moment when he looked into Nicky’s eyes and felt they’d met before. He wasn’t wrong and the blonde knew that now. If Mark remembered the identity of his attacker, everyone would be in grave danger. 

He felt sick. He couldn’t just get up and take 5 minutes to calm down, not with Shane, he’d ask too many questions about his odd reaction.   
“I hope one day he’s at peace with whatever happened. He’s a nice lad.” 

“Not my problem. I’m passed trying to figure it all out... So when are you gonna get your kit off?”

“Ha-ha, what? Here?” Nicky laughed, thankful for the change of subject to take his mind off what a fucking terrible person he used to be. 

“Back to yours? Doesn’t matter if Jack drops by now. Can just say I had concerns.”

“You just want me for my body don’t ya?” he winked. 

“Not sure yet. Get your cock out and we’ll see.” Shane chuckled. His eyes danced as his teeth shone causing a smile to break on the blonde’s face. Nicky reached for his hand and held it over his crotch, pushing Shane’s palm into his pulsing erection. “You’re hard? Nice.”

“Get in the car!”

Nicky wasn’t waiting another 25 minutes to drive home before taking his pants down. He wanted Shane’s mouth around his bell-end now! God knows he needed the distraction.

As Shane had asked, Nicky remained in his uniform after his morning shift despite the rules being clear he should have changed at the station before leaving. The zip of his black Garda trousers was wide open, his blue shirt unbuttoned to reveal his slim, toned stomach as Shane’s hand grasped the smooth shaft standing to attention as the cop laid on the back seat of his car. Pulling the foreskin down, Shane’s warm, wet tongue licked away the pre-cum oozing from the head, inserting the tip into his slit then back down the bell to take the whole thing into his mouth. The sound of Nicky’s groans spurred him on with nerves getting the better of him, hinching his hips to force it deeper to Shane’s throat.

“Ah Jesus I don’t remember the last time it felt this good.” Nicky ran his hand through Shane’s hair, tugging it as he joined in grinding against the rhythm. “Fuck Shane you’re so good at that. Mmm, ah god... Good enough for you?”  
Shane nodded with his mouth full.   
“Want me to blow you after?”  
No answer. Shane’s hand reached up to flick the blonde’s nipple while he steadied the base of his cock with the other hand. Sucking, slurping and stroking his throbbing hard-on, trying not to explode in his own jeans as it rubbed against the material. 

Eventually stopping to catch his breath, the brunette River Boy leaned forward to let Nicky taste his own juices.   
“Tastes good officer!” 

“Feels pretty amazing too. Wanna come in your mouth.” 

Shane shook his head. “Punish me.” He whispered, nibbling his neck. “Want you inside me.”

“Condom?”

“Wallet.” 

While Shane fumbled in his coat pocket to produce the packet, Nicky slid this trousers and boxers down his bum, freeing himself to be balls deep in Shane’s ass.   
“You owe me!”

“Seriously? A BJ doesn’t count?” he laughed with a twinkle in his eye, tearing the foil with his teeth. 

“Want you to fuck me too ya know.” He panted, rolling the condom down his shaft while Shane dropped his kegs, his own erection springing out of his pants as he turned to get in position. “Want warning up?” 

“No... Fucking ram me Nicky. Make me hurt.”

“Wow, a man after my own heart.”

Kneeling on the back seat, Shane curved his back, offering his bare cheeks to Nicky, raring to go between his legs. Licking his fingers first, the cop ran his tips into the crack, opening his tiny butt cheeks and rubbed the saliva around his entrance. Giving Shane what he wanted, he refrained from loosening him up and instead positioned his tip at his tight hole before taking a deep breath and slowly forcing himself inside. 

Shane’s eyes tightened as he hissed. The sharp unexpected pressure of Nicky’s member violating his body sent shock waves up his spine. He gripped the head rest of the seat and grit his teeth as he moaned.   
“Argh, Jesus... Fuck, shit.”

“You fucking tight ass. Relax!”

“Ow, ah, just give me a second. Hold it there.” He let out a long exhale and braced himself. “OK... Go! Give it to me Nick. Fuck me hard.”

It was like penetrating a virgin. Shane was so tight, Nicky felt choked as he slid in and out, slowly picking up his momentum before thrusting deep and hard.   
“Ah god Shane. Gonna rip you a new one.”

“Do it. Harder Nicky. Mmm, ah, yeah, fuck... Faster.” He demanded, wanking himself off until the blonde reached round to take his cock into his hand to do the job for him. “Fuck me harder Nicky. Ram it, come on.”

“Shut up will ya? Just fucking take it and shut up.”

“Oh officer, punish me. Oh god, I’m not gonna last.”

“Come in my hand it’s fine.” Nicky’s wrist action was much faster than his hips but he didn’t care if Shane got cum all over the seat. No one really sat there. “Is that good?”

“Gonna come.” He panted as Nicky went as fast as he could, stabbing Shane’s insides with his full length. “Ah fucking hell Nicky. Argh!” he groaned as he jolted and released his hot semen into the guard’s hand. “Fuck... Come inside me.”

“Nearly there.” He claimed, wiping his hand on his trousers quick so he could hold Shane’s hips with both hands, pumping his shaft as hard and fast as he could as Shane shook from his orgasm. “Clench... Ah god, mmm, nearly there... Yes, Jesus I’m coming, oh fuck, Ahh.” He pushed his entire weight against Shane’s arse and quivered as he shot his load in the condom. “Fuck.” He huffed, trying to catch his breath after a mind blowing orgasm of his own. “Shit I needed that. Are you OK?” he asked, carefully retracting to tie off the end of the gooey rubber. 

“It fucking hurt in a good way.” Shane panted, turning round to sit down again, giving his knees a rest. “I’ve never come that quickly in the life. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It was hot.” Nicky pulled his cum stained bottoms back up and settled next to the bad boy. “You like it rough hey?” he smirked, kissing Shane’s temple. 

“Sometimes. It’s never been that good though so thanks.”

“Maybe take it slower next time yeah? Want to enjoy every thrust of your cock inside me.”

“I’m totally out of practice but I’ll try... Can’t believe you just fucked a River Boy in your uniform.” Shane chuckled, staring at the beads of sweat pouring down Nicky’s forehead. “You’re the sexiest guard I’ve ever met and I’ve met a few.”

“Thanks. You’re the only bad boy for me. Fucking gorgeous, amazing arse and well, a good sturdy cock by the feel of it. But that’s just a bonus.” The blonde giggled. “Great kisser...” he went on, rubbing his hand over Shane’s muscular chest. “Honest, strong...”

“Besotted.” He smiled. 

“Yeah... Me too. I’d have to be to risk my career for you.”

“Don’t remember asking you to.”

Nicky sniggered and raised his eyebrows at the Shane he was used to. “Don’t start. I don’t care. I just want you now. Nothing else matters. When we’ve taken these cunts down it’s just you and me. No River Boys, no Garda. I can’t wait to be out and proud with you.”

“No Garda? You quitting after this?”

“If I have to. If it means I get to be with you then I’d move mountains first. I’m going to make you happy and safe Shane. You’re amazing.”

“Thanks Nick. If it wasn’t for you I’d be fighting for my life right now. The ShamKroc was the last straw but you make me feel safe and I’ll see that no one ever scolds you for it. You’re everything to me.”

Nicky blushed and grinned. “Shut up and kiss me. I’ll never let you down. I promise.” Curling his fingers around Shane’s ear, he drew the boy in for a snog, a passionate embrace that suggested it was a promise signed, sealed and delivered.  
**

The next day happened as Nicky had suggested it could. He and Jack arranged an undercover buyer to take part so Mark was none the wiser. They waited around the corner for Shane’s car to pull up down the street and then jumped, Nicky taking hold of Shane as he was the smallest, pretending to arrest the boys for dealing. Although Nicky had told them he’d go easy on them, Mark needed to believe this was real. They were carried off to the station where Jack took Shane’s statement about the murder and Nicky had a chat with Mark. 

Huffing in his seat, Mark folded his arms and sniggered. “So all that talk about ignoring the dealing was just bullshit then?”

“No mate. We had a tip off that’s all, so had to follow it up. I’m not even going to interview you, can’t be arsed.” Nicky laughed, fiddling with his pen as he sat with his feet up on his desk. “BBQ was good. Figured out where you recognise me from yet?”

“No... Like you say, probably got one of those faces.” 

“Like you said too, you’d remember a pretty face like this.” He smirked. “So off the record, what are you selling now?”

“You don’t want to know. It’s fucking filth man. Wish we didn’t have to do it. Sick of the hassle to be honest. You do know we’d stop if we could.”

“Do I know that? Why would I think that?” Nicky tested him. Maybe Mark was just as desperate to break free as Shane was. Mark shrugged. “Heard you’d been threatened by Brax... Martha told me.”

Mark snorted, shaking his head. “Tell you everything does she? Stupid bitch.”

“Don’t call her that! She’s my girlfriend dude. Just giving you the chance to talk informally mate. Has Brax ever hurt you? Is that why you’re so jumpy?”

“No I... I’ve been fucked up for years. I just never reported it.”  
Sitting at his chair properly, Nicky held his nerves and asked if he wanted to talk now.  
“Nothing you can do. Don’t even know who did it.”

“Doesn’t matter. Sometimes just talking about what did happen can help. I’m here if you wanna talk. As a friend I mean not just a cop.”

“Why are you being nice to me? You’re not gay are you? Shane thought you were the day we met. Said you were my type but Brax set him straight about you seeing Martha.”

“Ha-ha, nah, not me mate sorry. Very happy with Martha thanks... Just trying to be nice. You’re her friend so I want as little hassle from you as possible. There’s no law stating I can’t chose my own friends.”

“Associate with druggies a lot do ye? Not a good look mate.” Mark chuckled. “We aren’t that bad I suppose. Heath’s the biggest prick. At least Brax tries to keep us out of trouble... Put a step wrong and he’s the first to rearrange your face though.”

“I heard... He ever hit you?”

“No just threats. There’s nothing he could do that would shake me more than what I’ve already been through anyway.” Mark hung his head as tears formed. He felt safe in the confinement of Nicky’s interview room. He didn’t necessarily trust the Gardaí but he was calm enough. “Just can’t bring myself to say it out loud... What he did to me.”

Nicky took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes, trying not to show his nervous state. “What happened Mark? This is strictly confidential. I can’t tell Shane, Kian, Jack... It’s just you and me. Off record.”

“I don’t think I can. Sorry... It was 5 years ago. Nothing can be done about it now. There’s no evidence.”

That was comforting. The cop sighed a silence sense of relief. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. Don’t even have a description of him. I was drunk and it was dark. The only thing I remember about him was a tattoo on his back. A tribal type design across his lower back but it looked generic, anyone could have it.”

Nicky’s heart was in his mouth. Tattoo. Fucking great!   
“Do you remember what it looked like? There can’t be that many guys in Ireland with the same tattoo.”

“Vaguely. Only saw it for a second. Wouldn’t be able to point it out from a choice of designs or anything.” He shrugged. “That’s all I know. Don’t know what colour his eyes were or if he had any scars. Nothing distinguishing... Hair and body types change over time. My weight is always up and down and I’ve had some dodgy hair cuts in my time.” He smiled. 

“Looking good now though mate.” 

“Ha-ha, flirt!” 

Nicky laughed and winked. “So you’ve accepted he’ll never get caught for making your life so miserable?”

“Suppose so. I’d like to think if I saw him I’d remember him but I don’t think I would. Don’t even think he was local.”

“I’m so sorry you didn’t get the justice you deserve. Whatever happened has clearly screwed you over and I wish I could help.”

“Thanks. If I could just control the fits it wouldn’t be so bad. What therapy do you recommend?”

“Counselling is a start man. Anxiety medication? If you want to remember more, hypnosis.”

“I remember what happened just didn’t see his face properly so that’s not going to change anything. I just want my pocket watch back. If my mam ever finds out it’s been taken she’ll kill me.”

“Maybe we can get it back. Do you have a picture of it? We can report it as a historical stolen piece and put a call out for it.”

“You think so? It has an inscription on it. It’s unique. If you can help me find it I’d be eternally grateful.”

Damn it! He might have gotten away with it but now he felt guilty for being the one to have to help retrieve the item he stole in the first place. “I can do my best. On the hush though. Don’t need Brax knowing a cops doing you a favour.”

“Great, thanks, that’d be amazing, thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

Nicky faked a smile and nodded. “No problem pal. Just trying to make friends not enemies. You can buy me a pint tonight as a thanks.”

“I’ll buy you 5.” Mark’s smile and hope had never been brighter. Getting the prized possession back would help heal his wounds and lucky for him Nicky knew exactly where to start looking.   
**

Driving back to Strandhill to give Brax the money from what they’d shifted, after having to walk 25 minutes back to his vehicle, Shane finally broke the awkward silence between them. 

“So what did pretty boy say to you?”

“Am I supposed to say? What’s the protocol?” Shane shrugged. “Was a load of bullshit really. Nothing to do with the dealing at all. Said he couldn’t even be arsed to interview me about it. I know they’re more interested in the big dogs but he was a bit lax about it all. Started asking how he could help me get over my own issues.”

“Oh really?! What did you tell him?”

“Nothing much. Mentioned my pocket watch and he said he’s going to help get it back. Not holding my breath but he seemed enthusiastic and positive about trying so I’ve got nothing to lose I guess. Just don’t mention it to Brax. In fact we’re not telling him we got shopped are we?”

“No! Haven’t got a death wish. There’s only 1 hit left since we dropped that other off a minute ago. I’ll just hide it and pay for it myself to meet the quota. I’ll keep the cash when we do shift it.” Nicky would pay him for it more like, the station will anyway. He thought it was cute that his secret boyfriend was being so helpful. He wondered if Mark had opened up to Nicky more than he had the lads but he knew Nicky couldn’t repeat anything. “Suppose you’re his biggest fan now then?”

“No but I appreciate him helping me out. Kian doesn’t seem to think he’s got a bad bone in his body and neither does Martha. He is beautiful I guess but I’m not about to lick his arse or anything. He’s definitely straight.”

Shane chuckled to himself. He’d lick Nicky’s arse any time. He’d be fucking it soon enough. “Oh by the way, just thought I’d warn you... I’ve um, invited someone out tonight.”

“The mystery girl by any chance?”

“Yeah. She’s got the night off so thought she could meet everyone.” 

“So you have been seeing someone? I bloody knew it. You got laid yesterday didn’t you?!” Mark grinned, winking him with an elbow nudge almost causing Shane to swerve on the road. The cheeky smirk on Shane’s face didn’t deny it. “Ha-ha, brilliant. About fucking time bro. I’m happy for ye.”

“Yeah, yeah, thanks. How could you tell I’d been laid?”

“Just a feeling. You had that look on your face when you got home. Thought it could have been Martha at first til I saw how close she was to Nicky. They make a gorgeous couple don’t they?”

“If you say so.”   
'Not as gorgeous and me and Nicky. My Nicky!'  
“He’ll be out tonight. Don’t suck up too much.”

“Piss off. Anyway what did Jack say to you?”

“Tried asking where I got the gear from. Told him nothing. Don’t think I’ve ever said 'no comment’ repeatedly so much in my life. He gave up in the end and shrugged it off. Said he wasn’t that bothered either.” He hated lying to one of his best friend’s but it was in his best interests.

“Do you think they’ll ever work it all out?”

“Who knows? If I knew anything I’d tell em... Sick of this life Marky. Wish we could make it all go away.”

Mark agreed with a nod but didn’t reply. He sat for the remaining few minutes of the drive thinking about how nice Nicky had been to him. Maybe he’d cut the guard some slack tonight. He felt guilty for being ignorant at the BBQ now. The blonde didn’t seem that bad after all.

After paying for their days work, secretly sat in the cop shop, Mark joined Kian at the surf club so they could go straight to the pub at 6pm while Shane drove home to get changed for his big date with Cecelia. Nicky had arranged to drive with her to Martha’s house where they could all meet in private before arriving at The Strand in separate couples.   
It was the first time Martha saw Nicky and Shane together. Up to speed on the whole truth, she was fine with the plan but seeing her ex boyfriend hug and kiss another man felt a bit strange. Especially when she felt a fool for pretending to be in love with him while cuddling Shane Tuesday night.

Cecelia was wearing a wig. It had been implied many times that Shane liked brunette girls and as his fake girlfriend was a natural blonde, she agreed to don a medium length, chestnut brown, wavy hair piece to complete her look. She was used to it though with all the stage roles she’d done. This wig actually suited her and complimented her pretty blue eyes and cherry red lips. She was small in stature, very different to Martha’s tall curvy body but next to short arse Shane they looked perfect. 

The girls hit it off immediately. Turned out they had a lot in common so they came up with the idea to claim they knew each other already. Martha’s step dad’s best friend’s daughter. Far enough removed the boys wouldn’t have necessarily heard of her before and purely a coincidence that Shane met her over the weekend. It would give the real couple plenty of opportunities to socialise together without suspicious minds accusing them of choosing to be friends. The way things were going though, Mark would be all over him next, especially if the gold pocket watch was returned thanks to the guard. 

Nicky knew exactly where to start looking. He’d pawned it to an antique shop in Castle Street in Sligo but the dealer had been reluctant with it being personalised. Had it not been for the quality of the piece it may not have made the cut though the shop keeper suggested he might just keep it for himself. The guard popped into the store before driving home but the manager had already left for the day. He described the item to the older man behind the counter but he’d only been working there for 20 months and didn’t recall seeing the watch in that time. It’d probably been sold a long time ago but with his powers of authority, Nicky knew if he reported it stolen, the owner would have to hand it over or contact the customer he sold it to for it to be retrieved. Mark was willing to give a reward for the safe return but if Nicky could get hold of it through the power of the law, he’d decline any favours from the victim and insist he didn’t have to pay anyone for their loss either. 

Life was a bitch sometimes but Nicky’s mission to make it up to the broken man was one of his top priorities. He needed Mark on side and if he ever did work out the blonde was the person to ruin his life, his stunning personality now would help convince the boy it was just a nasty, horrible mistake and that the Dubliner could be trusted now, using his ability to protect and free the Irish River Boy from the Braxton cage he lived in. That would earn him brownie points surely. He might have affectively destroyed Mark’s life once but when he’d completed the case and the boys were free again, he’d be a hero after all and the brunette would hopefully be less distraught by the truth. Concealing his tattoo shouldn’t be a problem until Shane noticed it with his dick in the cops arse then the possibility of it being mentioned was a risk he had to face. What reasonable excuse could he use for Shane not revealing to his friend that his boyfriend had seemingly innocent body art?!  
**

Brax was finally in there. He’d managed to talk Ricky into going on a date with him so they were out for a few hours when everyone gathered at the bar. Heath was working to cover the landlords shift, much to his annoyance but it pleased the rest of the group. No one really liked the cocky twat anyway.   
Kian and Mark sat with distance at their table, sipping on their pints, eying up the straight couples. The blonde was happy for his friend to have a girlfriend and he thought Cecelia was sweet but despite feeling Nicky was alright too, his constant company was beginning to put him on edge. He was seeing something in him that Shane and Mark had from the start. He tried to push his thoughts away after learning about his favour to Mark but he noticed the way the cop kept smiling at Shane. It wasn’t normal. Taking off to the toilet behind Shane, the surf dude voiced his concerns at the urinals. 

“Don’t you think it’s weird though? He seems to be overcompensating for something.”

“Not really. I know I had my reservations at first but admittedly he does seem like a nice guy if it wasn’t for his uniform. Martha is totally infatuation with him.” Shane tried not to sound too keen all of a sudden but he didn’t feel comfortable slagging his boyfriend off either. 

“Yeah you can tell she’s happy which is great but I dunno. It’s like he’s sucking up to us. I liked him at first, thought he was alright.”

“What’s changed then? He hasn’t done anything wrong has he?” Shane shook his winky and tucked it back into his jeans, turning to wash his hands. 

“No but... Mark told me what happened earlier. That you were both arrested.”

Shane’s heart skipped a beat. Stupid bastard! He knew Mark was a liability. “What did he say?”

“Promised me not to tell ye I knew for a start so thanks for that! He said you’d been caught but that Nicky didn’t even question him, brushing it under the carpet.”

“I’ve told you they’re not interested in us really. It was just a formality. We came back with one hit which I paid for so Darryl doesn’t need to know about it. Nicky’s on our side Kian. He wants the real problem sorted. Mark and I are just pawns.”

“Jack has the same attitude does he?” Kian gave him a look of uncertainty as he dried his hands on a paper towel. 

“Of course. I was briefly interviewed by Jack while Nicky sat with Marky. He got him to talk Keano. Mark told him about the watch that was stolen and is trying to get it back to him. He’s a good cop mate I see that now. We need him on our side. Cecelia knows Martha so I’ll probably be spending some time with him now. We need to have faith in him.”

Kian nodded. “Just don’t keep secrets from me Shane. Mark is selective sometimes. I’d rather be kept up to speed by you. At the end of the day mate Brax isn’t the elite. You and Mark matter to me but what happens to him and Heath don’t concern me so much. I don’t want this life either but I’m lucky I don’t do the donkey work like you two. I wish we could break free ya know but I have to protect Mark and that means being careful what we do and say around Nicky. He’s still a cop Shane. We don’t know for sure we can 100% trust him.”

Shane wanted to scream in Kian’s face that he trusted the Gardaí more than anyone in the world but he knew he had to bite his tongue. “I’m not stupid. I’m not about to become his best friend but if he can make Mark talk then we owe him big time. Let’s just give him a chance yeah?”

“I can’t believe how much your opinion of him has changed. It’s unlike you.”

“Well maybe I’ve had enough of being me. Maybe I just want to be happy and make the most of the freedom we have. Like you say, if we can’t trust him after all, we’re all going to jail.” Shane huffed and stormed out of the room back to their table. Before taking his seat he slapped Mark round the head and leaned down to whisper in his ear. “What part of keep your fucking gob shut did you not understand?”

Mark’s confused face met Nicky’s shocked expression. “What?!”

“Everything alright lads?” Nicky asked, looking at Shane for an explanation. 

“Yeah sorry. Just gob shite here spitting shit to Kian.”

“He’s my boyfriend Shane. It’s not like we had anything to hide. I just told him the truth about today, so what?”

“Lads you’re not in trouble.” Nicky told them, worried Shane was creating a paranoid attitude. “It was just a caution. Oh and I should have some feedback tomorrow about the watch.” He smiled at Mark. 

“Already? That’s amazing, thank you.” 

Martha remained tight lipped in the awkwardness until standing up for her own trip to the ladies, giving Cecelia the look girls gave to imply she must be followed. Passing them across the room, Kian re-joined the boys to an annoying silence. 

“Thought I said not to tell Shane I’d told you?!” Mark bitched. 

“Marky we’re a team us 3. I don’t see why we’re suddenly keeping secrets. I’m your boyfriend ya know not just a gang member. You two have your own click and I don’t complain but just because I don’t deal with ye doesn’t mean I deserve to be shut out. I’m not going to grass to Brax you know that.” Kian ranted, forgetting the guard was sat at the table with them. 

Shane peered over to Nicky and cocked his brow, fighting back an eye roll and smirk. “Kian please. Not now. We have company.”

The blonde huffed and slapped his hands on his thighs, giving up on his defence. “Sorry mate. Just having a domestic.” He said to Nicky.

“None of my business lads but rest assured Kian, I’m only trying to look out for y’all. I can see for myself Brax is manipulating ya’s. I just want to keep Martha safe and if she thinks you’re decent enough to share a pint with then I’m happy. God knows I know it’s hard making new friends when you’re a cop but I’m genuinely not arsed that you’re dealers. Maybe I should be but I’ll earn my stripes quicker by catching out the murderers around town and I know you’re not going to tell me who did it so it doesn’t matter. Let’s just have a few beers, keep the girls happy and stay out of trouble.”

Shane admired Nicky’s speech from across the table. The blonde hadn’t being too dishonest or two faced and the way he handled himself around Mark and Kian made Shane proud.   
'He’s so calm and collected. He’s so perfect.’   
Shane lifted his leg up under the table and rubbed his foot on Nicky’s ankle. “We appreciate it mate. Truly.”

Nicky tried to control the smile on his face as he nodded back at Shane but the butterflies in his belly made him nervous. “You’re welcome mate.” Gutted he’d missed his chance to get a sneaky kiss off Shane in the toilet this time. 

“So my round.” Mark announced. “Same again Nicky?”

“Oh cheers mate, yeah.”

“Come help?” he asked Kian for a hand and left the boys alone on the table while the girls reapplied their lipstick in the mirror of the toilets. 

“Not in any danger are you Hun?” Cecelia asked Martha with genuine concern. “Nicky explained the case and told me all about the boys. Have to say, it’s not like him to be this unethical and unprofessional.”

“Nicky’s a great guy. He treated me right and all I want is for the boys to have their freedom back. They’ve always looked out for me, before the Braxtons arrived in town so this is my way of thanking them. But no, I’m not in danger.” Martha smiled. “Shanes very lucky to have him.”

“Are you sure this whole thing is real though? I mean, I knew Nicky was gay already but do you think there could be the slightest chance he’s using Shane purely to solve this investigation?”

“I really hope not Ce. Shane admitting he was gay to Nicky was a massive risk. I’d hate to think this was all just a vindictive plan. You know him better than me, so you really think he’d be that calculated?”

“Suppose not. I mean he loves his job but deep down he wants to be happy and the way he looks at Shane isn’t fake. I just hope it doesn’t end in tears.”

Finally alone for 5 minutes, kind of. Sat away from listening ears anyway. Shane apologised for Kian’s outburst and explained what he’d said in the men’s but Nicky convinced him not to worry. 

“Just be careful what you do say in front of the girls. They can’t think the ladies are OK with hearing gang talk.”

“God it’s so fucking complicated. It’d be so much easier if they knew what was going on.” Shane sighed. “I know why they can’t, I’m just saying... Being with you yesterday was amazing.”

“I know. Wish I’d done your statement today instead. Just being alone with you in a private room would have been enough.” 

“What you’re doing for Mark is incredibly sweet Nicky. Thanks. It means the world to him. He’s such a lovely guy, I feel for him. I know you can’t repeat it but did he say anything else about the incident?”

“Not much. Doesn’t sound like who ever did it will ever be found. It’s not worth the hassle when he has no evidence to back up his story. I can maybe get the watch back but it’s too late for fingerprinting and he doesn’t have much of a description of the man.”

“So the bastard gets away with traumatising him? Great.”

“Sorry... If I could do anything else Shane I would. But I don’t even know what happened myself so I can’t suggest anything. I’m afraid he’ll just have to move on and try to overcome his anxiety.”

“No I get it, thank you. You’re going above and beyond as it is. We’ll never be able to repay you.” 

“Well you can.” He winked. “Stay at mine tomorrow night. I’m only on a 6 hour shift so I’ll be home before half 9. Then I’ve got 2 days off again before my three 12 hour shifts in a row. I’m on call Monday but I’m free all day Sunday to go where ever you want.”

“Sounds perfect. If Brax’s date goes well with Ricky tonight he won’t begrudge me time to stay with Cecelia, i.e. you obviously. Maybe we could book a hotel tomorrow night. My shout.”

“Yeah? Sounds good to me. Dublin alright with you? Ce can meet us for 5 minutes to take a selfie so you can check-in on social media for Brax’s benefit.” Nicky had all the answers. The thought of whisking Shane away somewhere they didn’t need to hide made his night. The only thing that posed a risk was bumping into any old Garda colleagues so he couldn’t be seen holding hands in the street but at least they could go where they wanted as 'friends'. 

“Do I need to bring a box of condoms?” Shane muttered under his breath and chuckled. 

“You fucking better!” Nicky grinned as the girls came back. 

Martha smiled at the cute blush of Nicky’s cheeks. “Talking of things that could comprise our relationship?” she teased out loud. 

“Maybe just about how I’m going to be sore Monday morning.”

Shane laughed and covered his face with embarrassment. “Ah man, shut up!”

“Aww, sweetie.” Martha pinched Shane’s cheek and giggled on his shoulder. “Be gentle with him.”

“Erm, I’m your boyfriend not him. Get over here and lean on my shoulder! Do your job properly.” Nicky joked so Shane wrapped his arm around Cecelia for good measure and gave her a kiss when he noticed Kian and Mark coming back with their drinks. “Suck up!” he kicked his man under the table and smirked as the 4 of them continued to act like two happy heterosexual couples.   
**

After party back at Martha’s it was. Brax was so disinterested in the gang, he sat with Ricky on his own table by the bar once they’d arrived. Heath was knackered and took off to bed before the pub even shut but the couples were getting along so well Kian suggested they carried on the night so Martha agreed to host if he brought over some alcohol. They all squeezed in a mini van taxi to take them home and while the boys went to collect the beers, Shane and Nicky took their toilet break upstairs away from the girls. 

Locking the door behind him, Nicky grabbed Shane’s neck and plunged his tongue down his throat. He’d been gagging for it all night. Every time Shane laughed he got shivers down his spine. Seeing him so relaxed and enjoying himself showed him a glimpse of what the future could hold. With fingers groping each other, Shane unbuckled his jeans quickly with one hand and forced Nicky’s to touch him. 

“Be quick.” He told the blonde, closing his eyes as his hard-on was tucked inside Nicky’s grasp, immediately stroking him. “Mmm, that’s good.”

“God I need to fuck you again.” Nicky whispered into the crook of Shane’s neck as he nibbled at the skin. “I’m rock hard.”

“Still fragile from yesterday. Suck me off?”

“OK.” Crouching down to his throbbing cock, Nicky slid his tongue down Shane’s steel, caressing his balls as he pumped the shaft in and out of his mouth. 

“Holy fuck.” Shane groaned, trying to keep his pleasurable noises to a minimum. “Wow... God, you’re so good at this.” His eyes were still tightly shut as he tilted his head back on the door, his knees weakening under him as Nicky’s perfect rhythm got him off. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d received a blow job and this one was definitely the best he’d had, feeling Nicky’s finger tips inch slowly towards his crack. They needed to be quick so Nicky licked his fingers and replaced them back to Shane’s undercarriage, delicately easing one inside him to the sound of a painful hiss. He really was still hurting from their time in the car but the immense pleasure of Nicky’s warm breath sucking him compensated for the soreness around his entrance. One finger wasn’t enough. He asked for another but as soon as the second was in place, pressing his prostate, his hips thrust at Nicky and he let out a moan, his legs shaking as the tingles circulated his limbs.   
“Oh my god Nicky... Ah fuck, don’t stop it feels incredible.”

He picked up speed, driving Shane wild with sensations he had never felt. The alcohol in his system might have heightened his senses but it felt out of this world. The beautiful boy fingering him, wanking and sucking was a cop. So hot! He never wanted this feeling to end. Total freedom to feel himself for once. To be with a guy as amazing as Nicky, making him sweat and pant in pleasure as his orgasm was boiling ready to pour his hot semen down his neck.

“Ah Nicky I can’t take it, it feels too good. I need to... Mmm argh!” There it was, trickling down the guards chin as he took as much of Shane’s spunk into his mouth as he could. There seemed to be more than when he came in his hand but there was less mess this time at least. He licked the sensitive tip clean and slipped his fingers from his pulsing hole before standing to kiss the taste of the satisfied brunette back at him. 

Nicky had a smug look on his face now. “Enjoy yourself did ya? Quicker than quick.”

“Jesus yes. You’re amazing. Thank you.” Shane huffed, still catching his breath. He wiped away the stickiness on Nicky’s chin with his thumb and kissed him again. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

“Don’t you forget it.” He teased, stroking Shane’s sweaty hair. “You’re so easy to please.”

“Ha-ha, thanks. Not sure that’s a compliment.”

“Everything about you is perfect. You’ve got a fantastic body and it tastes so sweet. Just the way you are.” 

“You’re a charmer when you want to be hey? I can’t wait for you to feel me inside you.”

“Me neither.” Nicky kissed him again. Unable to let go. “Stay here tonight. The lads won’t know once they’re gone which bedroom we go into. Cecelia will stay no problem.”

“Surely they’ll ask why I don’t take her home to my own bed.”

“What difference does it make? You just stay longer than the lads then say you were left alone and didn’t want to leave. I wanna wake up with you.”

“Really? Martha won’t mind?”

“She’ll do what I ask. So will Ce. I’m not sharing a bed with Martha so I either go home and pick you up for breakfast in the morning and be asked why I didn’t just stay myself or you share with me and we sneak off first thing. Cecelia can be ready anytime. Tell the boys I dropped you both off in town if they see you get in my car.”

“I’m not shagging you with Martha in the next room. You’d need to gag me to keep the noise down.” He chuckled, staring into the blue orbs sparkling at him. 

“I don’t need you to shag me tonight. I just want to lay next to you. I don’t want you to go home.”

“Alright... Sleeping in your arms would be pretty incredible. Complete sense of safety.” 

“You’re always safe with me babe. I’ll always protect you.” 

Shane failed to reply as he stared into Nicky’s eyes. Not a flicker of doubt about his true intentions. Absolute honesty. He was falling quickly. This investigation needed to be over immediately. He needed Nicky to be his and have everyone know how lucky he was. 

“Shane I...”

“Nicky don’t. Just... We need to get downstairs before Kian gets back. I’ll stay OK. You’re the only person I want to be with.”

“You too.” Nicky smiled and kissed his nose before reluctantly letting go to wash his hands and beard of white stuff so he didn’t sport crust on his face when they joined the group. 

“I’ll go down now.”

“Sure. I’ll let Martha know the plan. Crack me open a beer yeah?”

“Thanks Nicky... For this and for... For everything. You’re amazing.” Shane left the bathroom and made his way downstairs just as the boys came steaming in through the front door. 

Nicky heard their return and bit his lip as he stared at his reflection with tears in his eyes and a sudden frown on his face as he heard Mark’s laugh. He hated himself. It was all his fault. Mark was messed up because of him and he was struggling to come to terms with the guilt. If he’d realised sooner he wouldn’t have gone near Shane. Anything to avoid the truth coming out. He contemplated telling Mark the truth but begging him not to tell anyone if he offered him something in return but he couldn’t take the risk until the case was solved and the thought of losing Shane because of it killed him. If it wasn’t for that damn tattoo he’d be able to conceal his identity forever. Now it was him living in fear and the sick bile in his throat wasn’t a result of Shane coming in his mouth, it was sheer fear and remorse for being such a fuck up all those years ago.   
**


	4. Chapter 4

Nicky was high from his perfect morning with Shane. Waking up next to a man after so many years of being alone felt like a turning point in his life. The gorgeous brunette was irresistible to the guard when he peeled the sleep from the corner of his eyes and glared at the snoozing River Boy in bed with him. He’d not got away without sharing a cheeky wank to get rid of their morning glory. They’d gone on for breakfast after dropping Cecelia at the train station and toned down the flirting in case anyone saw them together in the back street greasy spoon. Nicky had time to drop him home again before returning to Sligo for his 6 hour shift and with Jack by his side, sifting through mindless incident reports, he gushed about how happy he was, minding his pronouns as he spoke. 

“I need to do a follow up mate. You alright to cover?” 

“Paperwork or reception?” Jack huffed, not wanting to do either. 

“Paperwork? There’s only 2 reports left to do but I need to get to this job before 5:30pm.”

“Do your fucking work when you get back then. I’m not your bitch Byrne.” He laughed. “I can do the desk on my own for a bit when you get back. Unless it’s a big job? Nothing to do with the Braxtons?”

“Unrelated. Just a historical theft case I think I can crack. Won’t be long.” He smiled. “Ah, actually if I retrieve it I can drop it off at the same time. Victim is local. I’m not back in til Tuesday. Be nice to make his weekend.”

“Fine. As long as you are on a job and not off to shag Martha.” Jack winked in a jealous tone. 

“That can wait. Taking her away tonight to Dublin as a surprise.”

“Really? I thought she had that family do tomorrow. That cousin’s christening or something.”

“Do you set her diary?! How would you know that and not me?”

Jack shrugged. “Sorry mate I might be wrong.”

“She hasn’t mentioned anything. Oh well I’ll go on my own if I have to. Could do with seeing my folks anyway. Right, laters.”

Martha had told him she was busy when he mentioned he was going to whisk Shane away to 'stay with Cecelia' but Jack didn’t need to know that. She would have asked him to go along if she hadn’t known he was seeing Shane now but she was happy to cover for him and say she encouraged him to see his parents instead, conveniently dropping Shane down there at the same time to save him a train ride. 

The old fashioned door bell tinkled as Nicky stepped into the antique store. Full of shelves, covered in once loved valuables of all shapes and sizes. There was an eerie smell of old age, dust and cold brass as he strolled passed vintage vases, gold frames and hideous ornaments that looked faded by years of sunlight hitting them on windowsills. 

“Good afternoon officer. I heard you were coming. After the pocket watch?”

“If you have it or know where I can find it.” Nicky smiled with hope the man didn’t recognise him as the desperate seller 5 years ago. “It’s been reported as a stolen item in a historical case. I have some details of what I’m looking for.” He handed the photocopied picture over and watched the owner nod. He was used to losing his stock to thieved trade ins. 

“Great. Another bloody loss. I remember the young lad that traded it in. Looked desperate so I took the chance. Only gave him 60 euros though mind. Been trying to sell it for 200.”

“So you still have it?”

“It’s within my personal collection. One of those treasures that’s hard to sell on with personalised inscription on it but too beautiful to sell for the gold. I’ll be sad to part with it. Tend to use it on occasion.”

“Thank god.” Nicky smiled ear to ear. “Really sorry sir but I need to claim it back. Do you have it here?”

“It’s in my safe. I’ll go get it.”

What were the chances of this guy still having it?! Ridiculous in Nicky’s opinion but he was more than relieved. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Mark’s face when he turned up on his doorstep with the chain dangling in front of his face. It would make him feel better too to know he’d given back an important piece of Mark’s life that he stole in the first place. 

“Here we go. Take it.” The owner slid a red velvet pouch across the counter and huffed at his loss. Couldn’t argue with a guard. It didn’t happen often but he had to comply every time and it pissed him off to hand back items that could buy him a night away with his wife. 

“It’s beautiful.” Nicky took a real look at it and checked the inscription. It was definitely Mark’s. “Thank you so much.”

“Sounds like you know the owner of it.” 

“Yeah I do. He’s been messed up about losing it for years but I’ve not long worked here and we just met so it’s just a new case. Used to recover stuff like this all the time in Dublin. Here...” Nicky pulled out his wallet and handed the man some notes of his own. “I know he’d want you to have this. Don’t tell anyone. Officially it’s a criminal case but as a favour I’m reimbursing you purely because my mate will be eternally grateful and I’m a nice guy.” 

“Wow thanks officer. I’m still sad to see it go but I’m glad I could help.” 

Nicky placed the pouch into his inside pocket and lifted his cap to the shop keeper thanking him for his help. The cop was ecstatic. He couldn’t believe how easy it had been. He texted Jack to let him know his plan to drop off the item to its rightful owner and jumped into his patrol car, taking advantage of his siren to speed across town to Scarden. 

Shane’s bag was packed already but he’d not long got out the shower, still walking around with his top off as he prepared to make his way to Sligo to waste some time before heading back to Kevinsfort to meet Nicky for their get away. He wanted Kian and Mark to believe he was getting the last train to Dublin to be with Cecelia so he needed to be out of the house way before 9pm.  
Kian sat practising his mad guitar riffs in the lounge as Mark played FIFA on the Xbox but when the doorbell rang neither fully clothed boy moved to answer it. 

“Door!” Mark shouted, making Shane aware so he’d do the honours. 

“Lazy fuckers, I’m topless but don’t worry I’ll answer it.” Shane tutted and opened the door with a chuckle. “Nicky! What are you doing here?!”

“Chill out I’m not here for you yet. Is Mark home?”

“Sure, come in.” He opened the door and shivered at Nicky’s deliberate touch of his bare chest as he walked by. “Mark you’ve got a visitor.” He announced then disappeared upstairs to seem uninterested. 

“Officer... Guess this isn’t a social visit?” Mark paused his game and stood to shake Nicky’s hand. “What have I done now?” he chuckled. 

“Tell me I’m the best cop in town and I’ll tell ya.” Nicky smiled proudly. 

“You haven’t... Did you... The watch? Have you heard?”  
The Gardaí reached into his pocket and held up the pouch by its string, swaying it in front of Mark’s body.   
“No fucking way, are you serious?” he snatched the bag to look inside for himself and welled up as he saw the family heirloom. Undamaged, shiny and working. “Oh god... Nicky I don’t know how to thank you. Where did you find it?”

“In the first place I looked. It’d been pawned off in Bates & Morgan’s but the owner had kept it for himself. He gets a lot of stolen goods.”

“I can’t believe this. You’re amazing, thank you... God I could hug you right now.”

Nicky laughed and held his hands up as a barrier warning for him not to. “Just doing my job mate. Wish I could help you catch the guy that did it.”

Kian rose to his feet and offered the guard a hand shake for being the ‘best cop in town' and making Mark’s day, month and even year so much better. “You don’t know how much this means Nicky. Especially given the fact you should probably hate us.”

“Its nothing mate. Really. My pleasure. Glad I could prove to you I’m one of the good guys.” Nicky smiled and clicked his heels ready to make his move. “I’ll let you get on. Got a few hours left before I can head to Dublin for the night. Not seen my mam for 3 months.”

“Oh, Shane’s heading there soon to stay with Cecelia until Monday night. You might see him around.”

“Huh, really?! Can’t I get a day of peace without ya’s?” he joked. “Well how’s he getting there? Driving?” 

“He said the train. Not sure why when he could drive instead.” Kian told him, to then be informed by Mark that he’d got a flat tyre. 

“Hmm... Could give him a lift if he wanted. I finish at 9 so depends what time he’s expected but the offer of free travel is there. Let him know and if he wants to catch a ride I don’t mind. He can give me a call. Martha has my number.”

“Great. Yeah we’ll tell him. Think she’s at work til 11 anyway but the last train is 7:30 so I’m sure he’d be willing to wait a bit if it means saving money on the trip.”

“Right well enjoy your night lads. I’m sure I’ll see ya next week sometime. Keep out of trouble, I’m working 36 hours in 3 days. Don’t want any call outs to Brax.”

Kian sniggered and raised his eyebrows as he walked Nicky back towards the door, bumping into Shane as he reached the bottom of the stairs. “Here he is. See you later Nicky. And thanks again. You’re a star mate.”

Shane grinned as his blonde friend shut the lounge door behind him to console his crying boyfriend. Tears of joys mainly but being reunited with the object still brought back bad memories of losing it in the first place.   
“What’s up?”

“Thank god you’re dressed. Fucking hell.” Nicky muttered, stepping back outside of the front door. “I’ll pick you up from here later. They know I’ve offered you a lift.”

“OK. Guess you found the watch then? Is that why you’re here?”

“In his hand as we speak.” The cop nodded with a sweet smile. “Am I the best boyfriend ever or what?”

“Fuck sake Nicky, how did you pull that off so quickly? You crafty bastard. You’ll have made his year. I can’t believe you.” Shane was in awe. He wanted to wrap his arms around his man and hug him tight but didn’t want to risk the neighbours seeing. “You’re amazing.”

“See you in a bit.”

“Yeah course.” 

Nicky couldn’t get away fast enough. He hated not being able to take Shane in for a kiss but this time he needed distance from the guilty conscience he carried to the house. He thought giving Mark what he wanted would make him feel better but now he was lying to Shane and that hurt him the most.   
The younger bad boy watched his guard walk back to his car without as much as a goodbye wave. It confused him to get a sudden cold shoulder. Nicky hadn’t come across the same as usual. No cocky comments or secret winks. No desperation in his eyes to throw him against the wall despite his passing comment about being glad he was covered. It made no sense when he was coming back to pick him up in a few hours for a romantic, secret get away. 

“Nick...” he shouted down the path for his attention. 

Looking up as he opened his car door, Nicky saw the gorgeous man shrugging his shoulders, holding his hands out in a 'wtf' posture. A grin spread across the blonde’s face when he realised he was being a jerk. He nodded and saluted with a wink in a hope it insinuated everything was OK. He climbed in and immediately texted the boy. 

Sorry. Just stressed and paranoid. Had to control myself and get away. Wish I didn’t have to leave without you. Back soon. XOXO 

It was enough. Shane understood.   
**

The booty rub was smeared all over Shane’s fingers tips, massaging Nicky’s hole. Totally relaxed after a back rub, a pillow now under his hips to lift him up slightly. Straddling the blonde, Shane worked the lube around the outside of his entrance, teasing him with light pokes as he moaned. He was so ready for this. Might have claimed he wasn’t the biggest fan of being on bottom, he was making an exception for the brunette. His small hands had felt amazing on his tattooed back and now they were grasping his arse cheek and loosening him up. One finger at a time, Shane curled them inside, slowly penetrating him until 3 were deep in. Gripping the pillow under his head the copper purred with delight as his erection beneath him pulsed onto the bed sheets, oozing pre-cum. 

Stark bollock naked himself, Shane’s own hard-on was begging to be played with so he stroked himself as his finger tips pressed Nicky’s prostate. “God you’re so sexy.”

“That feels so good but I need to see your face. Let me turn around.” He waited for Shane’s hand to pull away for a moment before he turned over and wowed at Shane’s gorgeous body. His hairy, muscular chest, ripped down to his groin where his cock was dancing. “Wow.”

“Wow yourself.” Shane grinned, leaning down to kiss as he rubbed what lube was left down Nicky’s shaft. “Ready?”

“Slowly. I want to enjoy this for as long as possible.”

Shane nodded and guided his wrapped wood towards Nicky’s desperately wet hole. He shuffled into position and inch by inch slid his cock deep inside, clenching the boy’s length in his hand. “Ahh, god that feels good Nick.”

He closed his eyes and relaxed into the feel of complete fulfilment, dropping his hips onto Shane’s hardness. “Perfect.” He bit his lip and joined in the grinding, his eyes fixed on the hazel iris staring back at him. “Stoke me. Fucking rock hard.”

“Tell me about it.” Shane trickled some tingle gel onto the tip and circled it round the bell, meeting the same rhythm with his fist as his hips thrust in and out. 

“God you’re so hot. I’m shaking. Kiss me.”

Forcing his own shaft inside as deep as he could, he leaned down and licked Nicky’s lips before exploring his mouth. The pressure between them was too much, Nicky was nearly crying in pleasure as Shane’s perfect mouth kissed him into another dimension. This wasn’t just a rough fuck in the back of a car. It wasn’t a quickie in the bathroom. There was a deep connection now. They were one figure of pure Irish beauty sharing a moment neither of them had ever experienced before. 

“So beautiful Nicky. You’re stunning.”

“Mmm, oh god why does this feel so good? I’ve got goose bumps.”

“Wanna come together?”

“Make it happen. You can pick up the pace a little now. Can’t fucking handle the tingling all over my body. Feel so good.”

After another kiss, Shane leaned back again and began to thrust, wanking Nicky’s pulsing cock as he rode him like a rocking horse. Nicky’s ass was clenching with every slide, causing Shane to sweat as he fought back his need to shoot. His wrist twisted the erection in his hand as he gained speed and the only noise coming from their mouths was the constant groans of pleasure, building up to a moment of ecstasy. 

“Ah god Shane. Fuck... Ah god, oh god.. Mmm, yep, now, do it now, push it hard, gonna come... Fuck I’m gonna come.” Nicky jolted forward as he pushed his waist down onto Shane, shooting his load all over his chest as he groaned so loud the other hotel guests could hear down the corridor. 

Shane filled the condom at the same time, letting out an almighty exhale with his eyes closed and head rolling back. “Jesus. Christ that was...”

“Perfect.” Nicky grinned, pulling Shane’s neck down to kiss him, sharing the sticky mess on his chest. His man collapsed beside him on the bed and puffed, trying to ride out the tail end of his orgasm. 

“More of a bottom fan yet?”

“Shit if you’re that good then yeah.” Nicky wrapped his arms around Shane’s back and cuddled him close. Kissing his forehead as they rested on top of the crisp, clean sheets. Not so crisp, bit sweaty now!  
“Kinda happy you’ve not had the opportunity to share that with many people. Makes me feel special.”

“Ha-ha, trust me, it’s never felt like that with anyone. I always thought it could only ever feel that way with someone you...”

“What? Someone you what? Marry, what?” Nicky nudged him for an answer. 

Shane sighed and hid his face in the crook of Nicky’s neck. “I dunno. Someone you love I guess.”

“You don’t love me?! I’m offended.” He teased and laughed. “Doesn’t have to be that way. I mean I’ve never felt that connection during sex with anyone else before. Even when I was in love with my ex.”

“You’ve had relationships?” Shane sat up to look at his boy, shocked but realising they’d just never brought it up before. “When?”

“Course I have. Cecelia knows him I just wasn’t openly gay back then, still not I suppose. It was like 6 years ago we split up. Was together about 3 years but he got sick of me being in the closet so he left me. I did love him but to be honest we didn’t have much in common and the sex was basic and a bit rubbish.”

“Ah OK. We’re not basic and rubbish are we?”

“You joking?! I’ve never shagged anyone else in a public place or got a blowjob in a friend’s bathroom before. And I sure as hell have never felt the way I do when I’m with you... You’re incredible.”

“Don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Not with a person anyway.” He chuckled. “Horses don’t really count do they?!” 

“Ha-ha god I hope not. You can fall in love with me if you want to.”

“I think I already am.” 

“Good. Because I think about you every second of the day. I can’t get you out of my head and I’m constantly terrified you’re gonna get hurt... I just want to keep you safe. You’re so gorgeous inside and out, I want everyone to know you’re mine. That I’m the lucky bastard that gets to hold you at night and kiss that sexy pout that hides the most incredible smile. I’m the one that gets to feel you inside me, making me feel alive. The one that... That saved you.”

Shane was feeling emotional now. No one had even made him feel that special and wanted before. No one had ever cared that much about him though he’d not given them a chance to. “Why am I the one to get you?! I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes you do! We both deserve this. Why do you think I’m pushing you to help get you out of this mess? I just want to be allowed to be with you without anyone threatening to brain ya. OK you’re a moody shit sometimes but I get that and I’m the reason you smile now. I’m the reason you’re gonna be free to fly.”

“Nicky I can’t do this if you’re not going to escape with me. If I have to go through with the witness protection and be moved, I can’t do that on my own.”

“You won’t have to... I’m going with you.”

Shane stared at Nicky’s face, seeing the honesty in his eyes. “Are you serious? You’d really give up everything for me?”

Mark would eventually realise the truth and he’d have to run away anyway so it made sense to leave ASAP. But preferably with Shane. 

“Yes. All I’ve ever wanted is to find someone like you. I’m never letting you go... I know this is crazy but I know what I want and how I feel. Just now proved it... If we didn’t have to protect Kian and Mark we’d be long gone already.” Nicky’s hand stroked Shane’s face as he smiled. “I love you.” His voice quivered as he whispered it but Shane didn’t miss a word. “I’m sorry.” 

The River Boy was silent as he tried to steady his breathing, in complete shock of Nicky’s admission. He couldn’t find the words to respond as his eyes welled up. Nicky loved him. A cop. A cop loved him. How?!

“Huh, I know it’s only been a week but I can’t help it Shane. I know how I feel.”

“I... Wow, I um...”

“Don’t say it back alright? I know it’s early days and...”

Shane kissed him. “Shut up Nicky. Just stop talking.” Shaking with nerves, he softly nibbled on the blonde’s bottom lip, trailing kisses down his jaw and up his neck to his ear. “I think I love you too.” He whispered. 

“You think?” he giggled, kissing Shane’s nose. “Well you did say you were falling. It’s just that I’ve already fallen arse over tit for you.”

“You’re got a cracking arse baby and that tattoo is so sexy.”

'Don’t mention the tattoo. Fuck sake.’  
“Keep that one to yourself. It’s the source of my secret powers. Barely anyone knows I’ve got it. It’s my little secret.”

“Ha-ha, so no going home to tell Kian I saw it because I was fucking you behind everyone’s back? I’ll bare it in mind.” Shane laughed, stroking his fingers up and down the contours of the guard’s rippling torso. “I don’t kiss and tell anyway. No one will hear from me how big your cock is or what you look like naked.”

“Oh well that’s a shame. You should make them jealous and tell everyone what a stud I am with my massive dick, six pack and sexy arse.” 

“Ha-ha check out your ego!” 

“I’m kidding. I don’t do that either. People can see how perfect you are with your clothes on so I won’t be encouraging anyone to fantasise further by confirming how fantastic you look naked... And how fucking sexy you are... And how incredible it feels to have you touch me and kiss me and... How perfect you are.” 

“I’m far from perfect Nicky you know that. But you make me want to be a better person. You give me the courage to be brave and have confidence that everything is going to be alright.” Shane’s eyes were welling up again. That 100% trust was there now and for the first time in his life he could see a brighter future and without Nicky by his side, that happiness wouldn’t exist. “Meeting you was the best day of my life. That night you changed everything for me. I was so scared but you were there, going against everything and you believed in me. You saw the little guy inside of me screaming for help and even though I tried to push you away you stuck by me. I pushed and pushed because I needed to know you genuinely cared and you came through.”

“You’re so cute.” Nicky kissed his forehead and squeezed him tight. “Lucky for you I kept pushing then hey?”

“I’m serious. You’re amazing Nicky. Everything you’ve done to protect me, the way you look out for me and the boys... Even getting Mark’s watch back. You’re selfless.”

All the compliments would have boosted his ego had it not been for the burning guilt and deep dark secret he was dealing with. He was petrified. All he wanted was Shane but he wasn’t sure how he’d be able to go on being friends with Mark, seeing him break down all the time over what he’d done. Maybe this was his punishment; being forced to face the repercussions of his mistakes while being madly in love with his dream man. The biggest test of them all was how he dealt with it to gain minimum damage to his relationship. He’d already toyed with the idea of confessing the truth to Mark and begging for silent forgiveness but even that wasn’t an option yet. He had to find a way of getting the innocent victim to overcome the memories and lay it to rest so it eased the fear of being murdered in his sleep by his 2 very strong, Irish, River Boy friends. 

Realising he was daydreaming and hadn’t spoken for a while, Nicky broke from his daze and smiled. “Just want to be a good guy. Make up for all the mistakes I’ve made and all the people I’ve hurt in the past.”

“Nick how do you think I feel when I find out someone else has died from taking the drugs Mark or I sold them?”

This was a good point. He could use this against Mark.   
“Cant imagine... Can we just stop talking now? Just want to lay with you in my arms and fall asleep. It’s been a long day. An amazing day having fun with you but my head is frazzled now. I need to sleep in case the station call me in first thing.”

“Sorry... Hopefully they don’t. Another full day with you would be awesome. Sweet dreams beautiful.” Shane held Nicky’s cheek to kiss him before settling down under the covers to get warm. “Come on then, get in bed.”

“Just gonna wash myself down. Don’t fancy waking up with a crusty, stinky belly.” Nicky leaned down to kiss his head and climbed off the bed, heading to the en-suite to clean up. He wasn’t lying, his pretty little head was completely mashed now and he needed to have a word with himself before he admitted to something he’d regret.   
**

The loved up couple were granted Monday in peace. The station left Nicky alone on the understanding he’d got his long shifts to come but until he hit home ground after dropping Shane home in the evening he was blissfully unaware his life would change forever in 2 days time.   
The phone call came. Jack had news which sent the blonde into blind panic. Sitting on his couch staring hard into space, his eyes wide and glazed over with fear, his stomach churning the mega stack burger he’d scoffed for tea, his heart pounding louder than a tribal drum... 2 days and it’d be over. Wednesday at 2pm, Strandhill. The Sting. 

Get to Martha’s NOW! It’s happening, need to talk. Be there in 5.xxx

Shane saw the text come through while chilling in front of the TV with the boys and his reaction caught their attention. 

“What’s up?” Kian asked with concern as Shane bolted to the kitchen to pick up his keys. 

“Need to go out. Emergency.” Shane’s voice was panicked and his hands were shaking. “Don’t wait up.”

Mark tutted, rolling his eyes. “You’ve only just got back. Where are you going now?”

“Just out! Trust me. Everything is about to get a whole lot easier. Just don’t ask questions.” He shot out of the house and ran two doors down to Martha’s house, flinging himself into her arms as she opened the door. “Nick said to come round. The plans ready babe. We’re gonna be free.” Shane smiled. 

“I know he just messaged me. Are you OK?”

“Yes, no, I dunno. I’m scared Martha. I’m really fucking scared!” he cried, holding her tight as a security blanket. 

“It’s gonna be all over soon. Nicky will keep you safe. He adores you.”

“He loves me. I love him... I can’t lose him Martha, I just can’t. This has to work. What if they kill him too?”

“Oh Shane... It’s gonna be OK. I promise.” She had no idea it would be but comforted the man weeping on her shoulder until Nicky’s car came speeding round the corner in all urgency. “Nicky’s here, go on inside.” 

“Hey, sorry about this. Need to see Shane again. Was the easiest way.” Nicky gave his fake girlfriend a kiss on the cheek in the doorway and stepped inside to see his real boyfriend holding his head in his hands while sobbing on the sofa. “Hey you, come here you silly bugger. It’s gonna be alright.” He chuckled, wrapping his body around his man to calm him. “I’ve got you babe.”

“When?... When is it happening?” Shane pulled back to wipe his tears. 

“Wednesday afternoon. But I need you to stay away. One of my colleagues is going to protect you in a safe place. Brax and Heath aren’t gonna know what’s hit them. We’ve got the suppliers Shane. The Braxtons have already fallen into the trap. Two of the guard’s have been undercover, they were with them the other day, wanting in on the game. Darryl’s arranged a delivery in Strandhill. We’ve got them cornered. They’re all going down babe. This isn’t going to come back on you.”

“Are you serious? Mark’s been roped in to cover the bar on Wednesday. Brax told him they had another important meeting and he needs to do a shift. He’s training tomorrow.”

“Good, he’ll be busy and out the way then. Kian’s at work yeah?”

“Yes. What’s gonna happen? Where do I need to be?”

“In the pub with Mark then. You’ll be asked to accompany Paul to the station for questioning about Charlie but he’ll take you home instead. Mark will be fine. He’s not involved anyway.”

“Where will you be?”

“On the job with Jack and the armed officers. I don’t know how long it’ll be until I’m free but no matter how long it takes, I’m coming home to you then Mark and Kian can see I did this for you. I love you so much Shane.”

“I can’t believe this is actually happening. Do you have enough evidence?”

“Yeah thanks to you. You did this, you gave me the information I needed to create leads and although I haven’t been able to tell you everything, I’ve been as honest as I could be. All I want to think about now is you and me. It’s gonna be some fucking party on Thursday night when I finish my shift. We can tell the lads everything and we get to be together. No more hiding. I want everyone to know I have the bravest, most gorgeous boyfriend in the world and to hell with what Jack or anyone else thinks. They can’t demote me now. Not when we’ve done this. You’ll never have to see Darryl or Heath again.”

Shane was in awe. Still couldn’t digest he only had to pretend for one more day. “Thank you. You’re amazing Nicky. Love you.” 

Martha listened from the doorway and got emotional herself, seeing and hearing how much the boys cared about each other was heart warming. She loved them both so much.   
“I’ll put the kettle on. Staying for a drink Nico?”

“Sure, thanks sweets.” Nicky held Shane’s hands and smiled. “I’m so glad I moved here to work on this case. Finding you makes being homesick worth every second.”

“Let’s move to Dublin.” Shane suggested without thinking it over. “Fresh start.”

“But... My job.”

“You said you’d leave anyway.”

“If you had to go into the program yeah but you’ll be safe. I like it here. I don’t want to go back to Dublin.”

“Just think about it. I don’t care where we are. As long as I’m with you.”

Nicky nodded and after a second felt it might not be a bad idea after all. Getting away from Mark was definitely a positive but he needed time to think about it and get this investigation done and dusted.  
**

Shane rocked back in at 10:22pm, 3 hours after rushing out. Kian was already tucked up in bed, getting the covers warm for when Mark joined him but the brunette was still up, engrossed in C.I.S – Miami when Shane huffed his way to the couch. 

“Everything OK? What’s the craic?”

“Oh nothing. Martha fell down the stairs but she’s alright now.” He faked a smile forgetting his initial excuse to leave. “Keano in bed?” 

“Yeah.” Mark sat with his feet under him, spinning his pocket watch in his hand as a stress reliever. “Saw Nicky’s car outside. Assume he came running.”

“Course he did. He’s her boyfriend. He’s a decent lad. Got you that thing back pretty quick didn’t he?”

“Hmm. Thinking of talking to someone about what happened. He offered to hear me out so I might take him up on it.”

“Marky that’s fantastic news. You feel comfortable talking to him?”

“Yeah I think so. Sorry I haven’t found the courage to talk to you or Kian. Guess I’m just embarrassed. Thought maybe he would have the answers I need to get over this. Might make him understand why I’m in this mess.”

“I’m sure he’d be happy to help. He was great with Martha tonight. Saw a different side to him. When are you thinking of asking?”

“Prefer it not to be formal. Was thinking of asking him to pop round or meet me Thursday when he finishes work.”

Shane knew it wouldn’t be a good time but he couldn’t imply it. “Sure OK. Sounds good mate. As long as you’re sure.” He’d try and get Nicky to come round tomorrow and suggest they talked then.

“Yeah I’m ready. I don’t expect anything to be done to catch the guy but getting it all out and finding the best way to move forward is a step I need to take.” Mark smiled at his friend and felt positive about his decision. “So how was your time away with Cecelia?”

Shane immediately grinned ear to ear. His time with Nicky had been perfect. He wished he could give as much details about how amazing their cop friend was but he only had to wait a couple more days to reveal it.   
“She’s amazing Mark. Totally in love with her already. I’ve never been this happy mate. She makes me feel safe and loved. She’s just so incredibly focused and happy like, her confidence and passion for life is inspiring. Plus she’s fit as fuck.”  
If Nicky was a girl it wouldn’t have sounded so weird in his head but he spoke how he felt for the boy not the woman he met 4 days ago.

“Aww I’m so happy for you. Can’t believe she’s connected to Martha. Guess you’ll be seeing a lot more of Nicky than we first thought.”

'Oh yes. Every second counts.’  
“Not a problem. Like I said he’s a nice guy. Anyway I’m hitting the hay. Knackered. But hey, I’m really proud of you. You can do this.” Shane patted the boys shoulder as he walked by and gushed at the thought of Mark bringing Nicky closer to the group on his own accord.   
**

Shane had warned the guard that Mark was ready to talk so the blonde deliberately sought after him on his Strandhill patrol the next day to arrange their chat. It took him all day to mentally prepare himself to hear Mark recall the events of that night and his anxiety was noticeable by Jack. He passed it off as nerves regarding the sting the next day which was believed but in truth he was more excited about that. About freeing his gorgeous boyfriend from the life he was trapped in to become his one and only priority for all to see. 

Kian and Shane made themselves scarce until they were given permission to return home. Mark wanted to feel as comfortable as possible to reduce the risk of harm to himself and being in the comfort of his own lounge was the best place for it. He made Nicky a coffee and got settled on the couch, the off duty Gardaí sat across from him on the arm chair. 

“Just take your time mate. There’s no rush.” Nicky softly told the victim but Mark seemed strangely confident. “You can stop any time. I’m not judging you or recording it.”

“Thanks. I’m ready.” Mark took a deep breath and thought about where to start. He’d replayed the night over and over in his head for years but now he wasn’t sure how to begin. “Don’t really know what to say. Things were alright ya know? The three of us were best mates, used to cause a bit of havoc now and then, nothing major. I’d had good poisoning the day before the stag do and I just didn’t feel up for the party so the lads went without me. Decided to sit in the pub on my own for a while when I felt better... It was a Saturday so it was full of locals. Got pretty drunk... I remember there being this guy there in the corner of the room wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. Didn’t look like he’d had a shave for a couple of weeks. He didn’t talk to anyone but I sensed he was lonely and desperate. He must have heard me talking about him.”

“Saying what?” Nicky asked unable to recall overhearing it. 

“Felt sorry for him. Assuming he was homeless or something and wishing I had the courage to offer him a bed for the night... Although he looked rough and I couldn’t see his face very well he had a cute smile. He was wearing jeans and a black leather jacket but when I heard him ask the barmaid for a drink he didn’t sound local. Irish but not a country boy.”

Nicky’s stomach was already in knots as he listened to Mark describe him as a bum. “Did you speak to him at all?”

“Not directly. We were loud enough for him to hear our conversation though. We were probably being a bit rude to be honest.”

“Who’s we?”

“Oh just Kevin and his mate Phil. They moved to Limerick years ago. Just locals we talked to sometimes... Kevin said his fantasy was to be raped. I remember thinking it’d be nice to cuddle up to someone and take advantage of the lads being away but my pulling skills were pretty lame and I wasn’t sure this guy was gay anyway so I announced I was going home to the luxury of my gorgeous home to have a wank on my own... Think he heard me.”

“Enough to misconstrue it as an invitation?”

“Maybe but it wasn’t a direct invitation or a hint. I was just showing off... I didn’t even realise at first that he was behind me. Kept his distance as he followed me out the pub and down the street but as I got to the front door I dropped my keys. Next thing I know he’s behind me and I could feel his groin pressing up against my arse. His hands were on my waist and he muttered something to me... I froze. I didn’t know if he had a gun or knife so I just played along when I saw his reflection in the door window pane.”

“Huh... Did he threaten you at this point?” Nicky clenched his jaw and tried to swallow the saliva building in his mouth making him feel sick. 

“No. Though I’m not entirely sure what he said. Something about dreams. My dreams going to come true or something. By this point I assumed he was gay and just fancied a one night stand so in my drunken stupidity I let him in the house.” Mark shook his head, kicking himself for the mistake. “He... He wouldn’t let me turn the light on. He just took his cap off... Had long blonde greasy hair swept over his face but I didn’t have the chance to focus before he spun me round and threw me against the wall.”

“Were you scared?”

“Of course. I thought it was part of the game ya know. That maybe he wanted to dominate me but then he whispered in my ear not to scream and I knew... He was supposed to follow Kevin not me. He must have heard what he said about wanting to be raped and thought it was me. Especially after being so obnoxious myself. We do sound similar so I just guess what happened to me should have happened to him.”

“Do you think it was one of those planned things? Like his friend hired the guy to rape Kevin to fulfil his fantasy and the guy just got the wrong man?” 

“Possibly. I never asked. Didn’t really think about it until a while after. It’s possible but doesn’t make it any less traumatising.”

“No of course not. So he um, he forced you against the wall. What next?” Nicky sipped his coffee and stared at the vulnerable brunette. Such a sweetheart with sad blue eyes holding back tears of regret and shame. It broke Nicky’s heart. He’d never seen such a soft side to Mark. He was gorgeous. Broken but truly beautiful. 

“He pushed my face against the wall. Nearly stabbed my eye out with the hook of a missing frame. It made me bleed but I didn’t notice until later... I tried not to cry as he forced his weight onto me, taking my wallet from my back pocket and nicking the notes. Must have had about 50 euros I’m not sure. I tried to beg him to let go but he punched me in the kidneys and winded me, kicking me to the floor.” 

“Fuck.” He knew what was coming. 

“Picked me up by my hair and dragged me to the bedroom. The darkest fucking room in the house because my black out blind was down. He couldn’t have picked Kian’s room could he? All pale blue with net curtains. Always lit up by the street lights. No he did it in my own fucking room... Pitch black.” Mark was getting angry now. The memory of being attacked in his own personal space was a violation that went on to cause the need to move, not the attack itself. It was his bedroom. His only place to hide and feel safe but not anymore. 

“Lucky for him right?”

“Yeah no shit. I wanted to spray deodorant in his eyes but I wasn’t even sure where I’d left it. I could barely make out his silhouette. Next thing I know he’s climbing over on the bed, forcing his tongue down my throat. I tried not to kiss him back at first but figured if I cooperated it might not hurt as much.”

“Makes sense I suppose. Do you remember any details like the shape of his lips or anything?”

“On my big lips, everyone feels feminine.” He sniggered. “He had fangs. Like, his teeth weren’t straight.”

Nicky ran his tongue over his own perfect smile. Results of the brace he’d had 3 and a half years ago. Suddenly it made sense that he was more unrecognisable now.   
“OK that’s something I guess.”

“Hmm... He eventually pulled away and ripped my shirt open. Heard the buttons ping across the room... His hands mauled my chest and... He scratched his way down to my belt.”  
Nicky shuddered as he made a fist with his hands.   
“He placed his hand over my mouth and undid my jeans with one hand. Said I was going to enjoy it... Then he used the belt to strap my hands above my head to the rails. It was tight enough that the worn leather chaffed my wrists when I moved.” 

“Did you protest?”

“How could I? He’d already punched me and scratched me. I was scared if I resisted he’d hurt me again... I closed my eyes and tried to imagine it was consensual. I’d always had a fantasy of being tied up but I couldn’t envisage it being something sexy and pleasurable. It was violent. I was petrified... He pulled my jeans and boxers down and helped himself to my cock. Making me hard with his mouth... It’s a cock, it’s got a mind of its own, I was erect in a heartbeat.”

“Mate I understand it’s OK.”

“It was as if he expected me to enjoy it. Worst thing about it was it did feel good... For a moment... I fought back the feeling of pleasure but when he forced his fingers inside me it just hurt. No prep, just ripped me open... Fucking killed me. Never felt a shock like it... Until he...” Mark paused, biting his bottom lip as he tried to explain what happened next. 

“Take your time Mark. It must be difficult.”

“He raped me Nicky!” he cried, raising his voice to a broken whimper. “He fucking raped me. He just... Just fucking rammed his penis inside my arse hole without any form of lubricant or protection and fucking pounded me... Never felt such pain.” He sobbed, trying to hide his face as tears fell from his dark lashes. “He covered my mouth again and just kept going and going until he’d finished. All I could do was lay there and let him come inside me.”

Nicky took a deep breath as his heart raced. He remembered the feeling of Mark’s tight hole squeezing his bare erection as he thrust into him. At the time it felt incredible but once he’d dealt with his drunken, drug fuelled mistake all he ever felt was disgust and regret. Took him a while to dare penetration with anyone else after that. In fact the best experience he’d had since was with Shane in the back of his car. 

“I’m so sorry Mark.” He tried to sound empathetic but his apology was from the heart. 

“I was bleeding... There was blood and semen on the bed, I could smell them both. Saw the stains later on obviously. Huh... After he finished he jumped off the bed to pull his jeans back on. Muttered something about me being as tight as a virgin choir boy and started feeling around the set of drawers. Not that he saw it but there was jewellery and cash on the top... Could have taken any of it but instead he found the pocket watch hanging from the vanity mirror. He wasn’t stupid, he took his chances that it was worth something and shoved it in his pocket. I begged and cried that he didn’t take it but he ignored me. He was bouncing around the room like he was on meth or something... Told him if he left the watch and took anything else I wouldn’t report him but he knew then it was worth something. He untied me and threatened me saying if I followed him or rang the police then he’d be back and next time he’d use the belt for other things.”

“So he got away just like that? You said you noticed a tattoo on his back. When did you see that?”

“Yeah Erm... when he got to the bottom of the stairs he bent over to pick up his cap and his shirt lifted up a bit. The street light from outside caught it but like I said I don’t really remember what it looked like cause it was dark. He let himself out and I collapsed at the top of the stairs just staring at the door, waiting for him to come bursting back to do it all again.”

“Jesus... You never saw him again?”

“Never. Not that I know of anyway. Was locked inside the house for days. The boys came home and asked what had happened but I couldn’t speak. We had to move house and even then I couldn’t go outside for months. I was scared he’d find me.”

“Mark I’m so sorry you felt you couldn’t call the guards or tell anyone.”

“Who would have believed me? Everyone in the pub heard me banging on and I was one of the lads ya know? This was the kind of thing we were accused of doing which of course was bullshit. People’s perception of us was completely unjustified and exaggerated... Even if they did believe me I’d have been laughed at. Pointed at and told I deserved it.”

“No one deserves to be raped Mark. I’m sorry you’ve been ruled by this fear all these years. I wish I could do something to help catch this bastard but without the evidence and description we need it’s impossible. A tattoo and crooked teeth just isn’t enough mate.”

“I know that. Why do you think I’ve never reported it? I had no idea how to search for the watch. I was trying to block out the pain of everything else to worry about it at first then I just felt it was too late... I can’t believe it only took you 2 days to get it back to me Nicky. You’re incredible. You have no idea what it means to me.”

“Glad I could do something to help. It was just a lucky find mate. You can’t take back what happened but you have that precious thing back and you’ve told someone what happened. That’s massive. You can begin to move forward now.”

“What do you suggest I do?” Mark wiped his eyes on his sleeve and clutched at the watch tucked away in his pocket. “I’m not ready to tell Kian I just want the triggers to stop. If I can control the panic attacks then I can start to forget about it.”

“Doesn’t he deserve to know what happened?”

“We weren’t together when it happened. I know it infuriates him when I fit about it but if I can stop the triggers taking over, I can just put it to bed and be grateful that you got the watch back for me... If I could pay you back with information about the Braxtons I would but I can’t risk my life again. You’re a great cop Nicky and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I just don’t know how to thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me Mark. I’m just doing my job and trying to make friends. Shane and I are getting on well now and Kian’s always been sound so I don’t have any beef with you. It’s Darryl and Heath I want out of here and I guarantee... Look don’t repeat this and I mean it, don’t breathe a word to Kian about this but... Shit is going to hit the fan tomorrow but I promise everything is going to be over really soon. I’ve got your back mate I swear.”

“What do you mean it’s gonna be over?”

“Just trust me alright? Don’t say I said anything, please. Just do me that favour as a thanks. Your lives are going to change mate and all of this crap is going to be so much easier for you to overcome. Tomorrow.”

“Something’s going down tomorrow?” Mark was nervous now. “Do you know who killed Charlie?”

“Do you?”

Mark shook his head. “Honestly I don’t. Shane thinks he knows but he won’t repeat what he heard.”

“It’s fine. We have everything we need. Trust me OK? Everything is going to be fine.” Nicky smiled, feeling slight relief that Mark had no idea who he really was and no suspicion about his relationship with Shane. He felt sick to the pit of his stomach after Mark’s explanation of his memory but tried to remain positive that with some counselling he’d keep the attack to himself and accept Nicky for who he was now. 

“OK. You got time for another drink? I’ll let the boys know we’re finished.”

“Sure, fuck it I need a beer after that. I’ll sleep at Martha’s... Hey Mark, I am really sorry for what you went through. I really hope one day you can move on and know it wasn’t your fault. Just believe that the cunt that raped you will one day realise what he did was beyond wrong and if he’s never caught for doing it to someone else, he’ll be carrying it around on his conscience forever and sometimes that’s worse than going to prison to pay your time.”

“Thanks Nicky. I feel so much better already just for talking to you. You’re a great guy. Martha’s really lucky to have you. You’re welcome here anytime.” He smiled at patted the cop’s shoulder as a passed to reach the kitchen. 

Nicky felt like an absolute fraud. Lying about Shane was bad enough but if this ever got out, he’d be crucified and lose everything.  
It only took 5 minutes for his and Mark’s boyfriends to walk through the door as they’d only got as far as Martha’s house for coffee. Nicky took himself to the bathroom to splash cold water on his neck, tears in his eyes as he held back the need to scream. The guilt was too much to handle. Mark was so sweet he hated himself for breaking him. He wished he’d just spoken to him and enjoyed a one night stand instead of acting on a desperate impulse to gain cash to return home. No matter how he tried to justify his actions, nothing made up for the fact he deserved to be punished. 

“Nicky, you in there?” Shane tapped on the door as Kian consoled an emotional Mark in the kitchen. “You OK?”

“Yeah one minute.” He sniffed, drying his face and hands before opening the door with remorse written all over his face. “Hey.”

“Hey... You alright?”

“Yeah course. It went well. Mark was really honest it just got to me a bit that’s all. He’s so brave.”

“He is OK though right? I know you can’t tell me what he said but he’s crying on Kian’s shoulder.”

Nicky nodded and frowned. “He’ll be fine babe. Just wish I could do more to help. The bastard that did this to him... If I got my hands on him Shane... I’m just so angry. He didn’t deserve it.”

“Was he sexually assaulted? It’s the only thing that makes sense.”

“Sorry... I can’t say. Just be patient with him. He’s on the mend now. I’m going to stay for a beer if that’s OK with you?”

“Course it is. Thanks for talking to him Nico. You’re an absolute angel. Love you.”

Nicky sighed and wrapped his arms around Shane, holding him tight behind the door so they couldn’t be seen. “Love you too. So much.” He kissed his man and smiled. “One more sleep. I can’t lie anymore. The sooner everyone knows the truth about us the better.”

“I know babe. One more sleep.” He grinned back and pressed his lips to Nicky’s sharing a loving embrace before showing their faces downstairs. “Love you.” He repeated himself and led the way.

Nicky stayed until late. Hadn’t noticed the time when his phone flashed up with a notification at midnight.   
“Shit I need to get off. Martha will be in bed by now.”

“Take our couch if you want mate.” Kian offered. “No need to wake her when you can just crash here. Let yourself out in the morning. It’s no bother.”

“Are you sure? Don’t wanna put you out lads.” Nicky’s eyes twinkle at Shane. “I’ll be gone by 6.”

“It’s fine by me.” Shane agreed. 

“Right then Marky let’s go to bed and give the Gardaí some peace. Grab the spare duvet from your room Shane?” Kian slapped Mark’s leg to shift to bed. 

“Yep. I’m on it. Night boys.”

“Cheers Nicky.” Mark gave him a thankful smile as he carried himself upstairs, closely followed by Kian. 

“Your first sleepover.” Shane chuckled when he believed the boys were in their room. “If only you could share my bed.”

“You could stay on the sofa with me.” He wiggled his brow with a cheeky grin. 

“No chance. Mark always gets up in the middle of the night. He’d see us. Tomorrow though? Well, Thursday probably. Tomorrow is going to be intense.”

“I think you should stay at mine tomorrow. It’s safer. Have a bag packed and I’ll pick you up when I can... I’m shitting it as much as you.”

“Doubt it. I’m so scared Nicky. Please be careful. If I lost you now I’d be devastated.” Shane took Nicky’s hand and squeezed it, leaning his head to meet the blonde. “Promise you’ll come for me babe. Don’t break my heart.”

“I’m doing this for you. Being with you is what this whole thing is about. I love you so much Shane, I promise I’m coming for you. I’d die for you if it meant you were free.”

“No! No, you have to see this through. No dying on me, no getting shot or stabbed... Just bring down the Braxtons and the suppliers and come back for me. Alive. I need you, I love you and if anything happens to you I’ll never forgive myself.”

“I’ll be safe, I promise. No one is going to come between us. You’re everything to me.” Nicky kissed Shane’s nose and smiled. “Love you.” He hugged his man and sat holding him for several moments in silent, Shane’s worry written all over his face. 

Gasping at the top of the stairs with a spare duvet under his arm, Mark stepped back from listening in to their conversation and caught flies. He’d heard every word but not a single one made sense. Shane wasn’t gay! Neither was Nicky. They were barely friends. How the hell had it got this far and how did Shane know about the next day’s plan? A million questions flooded his head but he couldn’t comprehend what he’d overheard. Shane and Nicky?! Something wasn’t right. 

Warning them to break apart so he didn’t have to confront them, willing to plead ignorance for now, Mark shouted to Shane that he’d throw the cover down. He couldn’t even bear to look at Shane right now. Scared stiff Nicky would feed back their chat earlier, breaking his trust. Why were they keeping something this big a secret and how long has it been going on? Mark was too drunk to think any logical sense so he kept his gob shut and waited to see what the next day brought to their door. If Nicky was bringing down the River Boys he was at least confident Shane was safe and assumed he and Kian were too, especially given Nicky’s speech earlier. He just hoped Shane hadn’t been used to crack the case. If Shane was really in love with Nicky like he claimed, the last thing Mark wanted was to be consoling his broken heart. 

“Cheers mate.” Shane hollered picking up the duvet and hanging it over the side of the couch. “Best go to bed. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah... It’s gonna be OK. Night gorgeous.”

Kissing Nicky on the cheek, Shane smiled. “Sweet dreams angel.”  
**

5:45am and Mark was still wide awake as Kian snored beside him. His mind just couldn’t switch off as he replayed the entire night over and over. He had to be at the pub for 10 to do his shift but figured if something was going down he could run on adrenaline. Giving up on trying, he slipped out of bed in his PJ bottoms and crept downstairs to find Nicky in the kitchen helping himself to a glass of water. 

“Morning.” Mark croaked, making the topless blonde jump. 

“Fucking hell you scared me. What are you doing up?” Nicky freaked, keeping his back turned. 

“Cant sleep. Sorry I’m not dressed.”

“Yeah same. Just putting my uniform on. Jack’s picking me up outside instead.”  
Mark couldn’t help but stare at Nicky’s fit chest. The half naked body he assumed belonged to Shane.   
“You getting a good look?” he joked with a chuckle. “Don’t let Martha catch you ogling at me like that. Or Kian for that matter.” He smirked.

“What about Shane?” 

“What?” Nicky panicked. “What’s it to him?”

Mark sniggered and held his hands up. “Nothing. Forget it... Just that he’s taken too ya know?”

“By a woman. Not sure he’d care.”

“If you say so. So, big day at work?”

“Could say that mate. Like I said, it’s gonna be over really soon and you’ll be free.”

“Nicky I don’t know why you’ve been lying to us.” Mark confronted him but Nicky wasn’t sure which part he suspected. “Just promise you’ll be honest later. Shane means a lot to me. I just want him to be happy.”

“What are you talking about?” he acted dumb. It was far too early for this. “What do you think you know Mark, just spit it out?”

“You and Shane! I have no idea what the fuck is going on but if you hurt him...”

“Whoa, seriously mate. I’d never do anything to hurt him. Or you... Today is about saving you not hurting you.”

“I’m not going to say anything but I know about you and Shane. I’m sorry to burst your bubble Nicky but Martha doesn’t deserve this going on behind her back. It’s not fair.”

“Shut up, she knows!” Nicky cracked. “Please Mark, whatever you know just keep it to yourself until later. There’s a sting to catch the lads and if it goes well, you’re being spared prison... Please don’t jeopardise it.”

“What?! She knows you’re in love with Shane? What the hell is going on man?”

Nicky grabbed Mark’s arms and shook him. “Just... Shut up and keep quiet. I don’t need this right now. Later on you’ll be thanking Shane for saving your life, you won’t be bothered about who he’s shagging.”

“You’ve slept together?! Jesus... He’s been helping you hasn’t he? Feeding you information and... Please tell me you aren’t using him.” 

“I’m not I promise. I love him Mark and he loves me too. You have no idea how hard it’s been keeping this from you but please don’t say anything yet. I’m on your side mate, honestly. I need to keep him safe. Kian can’t know anything. Not yet.” 

Mark saw the desperation in Nicky’s eyes as he loosened his grip on his arms. “Fine. If you swear you haven’t told him what I told you last night.”

“Of course I haven’t. That was confidential, I’d never do that to you. Just like this undercover shit, it’s classified until further notice. I promise Shane and I will explain everything tonight. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before but you’re lucky I do because you and Kian get away a heap of shit too. You have to trust me on this. Please.”

Mark nodded and sighed. “He loves you I can see that now. I don’t have a problem with it. Just so you know.”

“Thank you. That’s a load off my mind already. Look I need to get ready but I promise everything will be cleared up later.”

“Sure. Good luck then.” Mark grinned and opened the back door to go outside for a cigarette allowing Nicky to get to his uniform to conceal his tattoo. He was happy that his best friend had found love. He was just pissed off it was all tangled in a murder investigation with the nicest, cutest guard in Sligo. Slightly jealous if he was honest with himself. He puffed on his fag in the cold garden as the morning sun sparkled through the bushes to his hairy chest. Having Nicky around more wouldn’t be such a bad thing.   
**

All morning Mark had been itching to confront Shane about his relationship with the guard. He was deeply hurt by the lies and confusion and feared something bad was going to rip their friendship apart any minute of that day. It was always quiet on a Wednesday lunch time, not many people around so as soon as he found the opportunity to speak, punters chilling in the beer garden, the days barman spoke up while Shane sat nervously checking his watch at the end of the bar. 

“Waiting for someone?” he broke the silence. Just the news quietly playing on the TV in the background. 

“Hmm? No. Just bored. Not much happening today. Nicky get off to work OK I guess?”

“Wondered how long it’d take you to ask.” Mark smirked. “Had no lovey dovetail text off him yet?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shane gave him his best dirty look but it made his friend chuckle. “What?”

“You’re a dark horse Shane. Can’t believe you’re shagging a cop. A male cop!”

Shane’s eyes widened with fear. “What?! What are you talking about?”

Whispering in case anyone came in Mark leaned over the counter and grinned. “I’m so jealous. He’s gorgeous and fit as fuck. Why didn’t you tell me you’re gay?”

“Mark, I... What do you mean? How do you...”

“It’s fine. I heard you talking last night. He confirmed it this morning.”

Shane covered his face and sighed. “No way... Mark, look...”

“I’m not mad Shane I’m just confused. I won’t tell Kian but I wanna know what’s going on. Have you been telling Nicky about Brax?”

“I... No, I... Mate, please don’t do this right now. I’m shitting bricks as it is. I’m sorry I lied but I can’t say anything right now. It’s too dangerous.”

“He told me Shane. He told me you’re in love with him and that a heap of shit is going down today. A sting?”

“He said what?! Jesus...”

“Tell me I’m wrong... You can’t can you? Are you working with the Gardaí? Are you seriously playing with fire?”

“Mark I’m sorry but I love him. He’s amazing and I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. I was so scared... The new drug was too much. I couldn’t deal it man, I want out. The arrest last week was staged. Nicky didn’t question you because we were there so I could give Jack a statement. I blew the whistle... I’ve saved our lives Mark. Us and Kian, we’re safe. I bought us anonymity.”

“Fuck... By shagging an officer?! Are you even gay?”

“Yes of course I am. Always have been. Cecelia is a cover. So is Martha. They know everything. I’m sorry man, I’m really sorry.” 

Mark took a deep breath and wiped his face in disbelief. “I don’t get it. What did you blow first? The whistle or his cock?”

“Mark, don’t... Please just shut up. Today has to go well. If anyone gets wind of this we’re all dead. Including Nicky and Jack... I can’t lose him Freddie. I love him so much.” Shane was close to tears as his best friend stood in shock, unable to fathom the consequences of the day’s events. “For fuck sake just wait and see what happens. Yes I’ve been sleeping with him and yes he loves me too and I know it’s not just some game or plot alright? He’s the sweetest, most incredible guy in the world and nothing or no-one is going to stop us being together after today.”

“OK. I’m happy for you. I agree he’s a great guy, I just hate all the secrecy. Are you absolutely positive we’re not going to prison?”

“Yes! Fuck sake just shut up.” Shane screamed and disappeared into the toilet as Nicky knocked on the fire exit round the back. Opening the door as he passed, Shane let the uniformed guard inside. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be undercover by now.”

“Need to get changed. Can I use the office?” Nicky gave his flushed man a kiss on the cheek and made his way into the room. “Mark knows by the way.”

“Yeah. He just told me. He won’t fucking shut up about it. Is everything in place?”

“Yes babe, relax. Nothing is going to happen to you. Just make sure you’re ready to run.” Nicky wrapped his arms around Shane’s neck and held him tight. 

Unaware the boys were in hiding Mark walked down the corridor with a note in his hand to get some change from the safe, stopping in his tracks as he saw the couple hugging. 

“Be careful Nix. Love you.”

“Love you too gorgeous.” He smiled and kissed his boy, ignorant to the fact they were being watched. 

Mark’s heart danced as he saw the genuine love between the lads but didn’t want them to get carried away so he cleared his throat to alert his presence. 

“Shit, sorry.” Nicky stood back and smiled at Mark, embarrassed by being caught. “I just need to get changed.”

“Don’t mind me officer.” He grinned, stepping passed to reach the safe. 

“See you later.” Shane shuffled away back into the bar but he was waited by two guards eager to put the first step of the plan in place. 

“I know you’ve spoken to Shane but please don’t cause a scene.”

“I won’t... But thank you. If it wasn’t for you this could be my last day of freedom. I appreciate everything you’re doing. I trust you.” Mark smiled, locking the takings away and returning to the bar to let Nicky get changed in peace. 

“Shane Filan I’m arresting you on suspicion of drug trafficking with the intend to supply, aiding the murder of Charlie Buckton and conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. You have the right to remain silent but...”

Nicky overheard his colleagues down the hall and closed his eyes in regret. He’d been told the officers would simply ask him to accompany him to the station, not arrest him for everything he was being saved from. For a second he feared he’d been played himself and his guts churned in fear that Shane was genuinely being taken away. He wanted to burst into the room to see the look on their faces to judge either way but instead he fled the building through the back door and sprinted to the undercover car to race to Jack’s side. It wasn’t quite 1pm yet, seemed a bit early to get Shane out the way. 

“No what are you doing?” Mark screamed. Mortified and none the wiser of the plan but judging by Shane’s face there was no hint of reassurance that it was fake. “He hasn’t done anything wrong. You can’t do this.” 

“Unless you want to join him Mr Feehily we suggest you keep your head down.” One guard warned him. The one cuffing Shane. 

“Mark it’s gonna be OK. I’ll be alright I promise.” Although he was caught off guard himself, Shane knew he was safe. He’d signed the agreement. Obviously they just chose to dramatize it for Mark’s benefit. “Whatever you do, don’t call Brax.”

Mark panicked as he watched the officers forcefully haul Shane away. He had no idea what was going on and whether he should worry or not but when he saw police cars zoom passed the window towards the beach he knew he couldn’t sit in silence and without thinking he left the pub unattended to race to Kian’s side. 

Nicky’s radio was going crazy. Jack was cursing him for slacking on time and abused his partner for failing to respond to the urgent calls. Something wasn’t right. 

“Jack just tell me Shane’s arrest wasn’t real. He’s still safe right?” Nicky cried, speeding down the road to the drama. “Shane, he’s... The anonymity.”

“Of course he’s OK. Fucking hurry up it’s all kicking off. The switch was early. Darryl’s on the ground already. Just get here quick.”

Bursting into the back door of the surf club, Mark lunged at Kian in tears and shouted. “They’ve got Shane. Kian they’ve got Shane.”

“Whoa what’s happening? I just saw the cars go passed. Who’s got Shane?”

“The Garda. I don’t know what’s going on exactly but they’re on it. They’ve trapped Brax and they’re bringing the whole thing down.” Mark cried, shaking with fear. “He said we were safe but... I’m not sure.”

“Who said we were safe? Why would we be safe? How do you know this?”

“Shane... He’s sleeping with Nicky. He’s been feeding the cops information and...”

“What?!” Kian screamed in a fury. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m gonna kill him.” Kian tried to run away but Mark grabbed him. “Shane’s been arrested?! What about Brax?”

“He’s with Heath and the suppliers, they’re going to catch them. We have to get out of here.”

“You said we were safe. How can we be safe if Shane’s been arrested? Mark, what’s going on?” 

Kian was in utter shock. Nothing made sense so he pushed his boyfriend out the way and ran outside, spotting the scene not far away. Instead of running away from it all, he ran towards the boss being pinned to the ground by 2 officers, one of which was Nicky. Scared he’d get caught in the crossfire Mark chased after him but when Nicky saw them heading their way his face went pale. 

“No! Mark, no stop, go back.” The blonde begged as the van driver stood holding a gun, face off with Jack and armed guards. “Please, Mark, just go!”

The brunette was confused. Maybe Shane being arrested was just a privilege he had for being Nicky’s boyfriend after all. Get him out the way from harm as a thank you for his cooperation. Kian’s heart was in his mouth as he stared at Brax’s face being buried in the sand, his brother thrown against a cop car with a knee dug into his back and cuffs tight enough to cut off his circulation. 

Jack kept calm and asked the lads to get away. He didn’t want anyone to suspect they were free either so he demanded they got down on the floor. All the guards present knew not to use force on Mark or Kian but now the suppliers were threatening to shoot again, Jack was terrified they’d get hurt. 

“Down! Get down on the floor, both of you, now!” 

Seeing Jack point the gun at Mark in a false threat made Nicky’s stomach tighten. He was gutted the lads were so close and prayed they wouldn’t get hurt.   
The stand off between the suppliers and armed police continued as Nicky’s heart pounded from his chest. He slowly turned his hand to draw his weapon from his ankle holster and nodded at Mark to reassure him he was being protected. 

Creeping slowly towards the offenders as more armed police and dogs arrived at the scene Jack kept his cool. He saw the fear in Nicky’s eyes, staring across at Mark and crouched down to take the blonde’s weapon, ignoring Brax being crushed to silence.  
“Nicky I know the truth. Mark needs the gun right?” he whispered. 

“What truth?! Just protect him Jack. Please.” Nicky cried, struggling to hold back tears but Brax heard and got the wrong end of the stick. 

“Kill Mark and Kian first!” he screamed at the drug lord still standing. “They did this, kill...”

Before he could say it again, Nicky stamped on Brax’s head to shut him up with a mouth full of sand. Jack tossed Mark the gun close enough to reach it but the frightened man was too scared to touch it so Kian did the honours. He had no idea who the enemy was. He heard Darryl turn on him and after what Mark had said he didn’t think Nicky was the target but he wasn’t sure either way. 

“Kian, no!” Mark cried in desperation. “He’s saving us, don’t hurt Nicky or Jack.”

Standing to his feet, Kian took his chances and pointed the gun at Brax’s head. “You think I did this? Ha-ha, no mate. But if a cop is handing me a gun I know I’m not going where you are.”

“Kian, don’t!” Nicky screamed as a pack of more Alsatians came tearing across the sand to take down the almighty drug lord. 

In a split second 2 shots were fired and the ringing in Mark’s ears almost deafened him. Too scared to open his eyes as a sudden silence radiated across the coastline he felt a splash of blood slap him around the face.   
As if in slow motion Nicky screamed and leapt off Brax’s back not realising his colleague had already let go. Darryl saw the chance to get away as he too felt a splatter of blood project his way. He grabbed hold of Nicky’s t-shirt and ripped it from his back as he tried to haul himself up but when the blonde fell to the floor in front of Mark, the armed police aimed to fire another shot… too late!

Shielding his head from an explosion of blood firing his way, Nicky rolled over the sand, landing by Mark’s side. The dogs were chewing at Brax’s ankle as the officers surrounded the offenders but Kian was silent, collapsed on the ground in shock and pain as he stared at the brains splattered across golden sand by his feet. The sound of the barking and hysteria around them rung on Mark’s ears again as his vision clouded. He needed to scream but nothing came out. 

“Its over.” Kian muttered, bleeding profusely from his leg. He looked over his shoulder and saw the dead body of the drug lord surrounded by police. “I’m... I’m bleeding.”

Nicky looked at the lads and was immediately sick over Mark’s arm. “Lads I’m so sorry.” He cried. “I tried, I’m sorry.”

Mark’s jaw was on the ground as he saw Heath faint at the sight of his brother’s head shot to smithereens. He turned his focus to Kian and saw the bullet wound in his thigh, eyes popping from his head as his boyfriend sat struggling to breathe.   
“No. No, no, Kian!” 

“Fuck.” Nicky struggled to his feet and stared down at the movie scene around him, Brax and Kian’s blood smeared across his own chest. “Oh god.”

“Nicky... Where’s Shane?” Mark shuddered unsure what to do or say to help his injured lover. “Where’s Shane?!” he yelled. 

“He’s safe, he’s... Kian I’m so sorry. You’re gonna be alright I promise.” Nicky grabbed his torn shirt and wrapped it around the blonde’s leg trying to stop the bleeding. “Mark, put pressure on the wound for me. Now!” 

“You’re fucking Shane?” Kian managed to ask through his shallow breathing. 

“Sorry mate.” Nicky wept. “He tried to save your life and now... You’re gonna be alright mate. You’ve got away with it.”

“I shot him Nicky... I shot Brax.”

“No... No we didn’t see it happen. No one did OK? Trust me.” Nicky shook like a leaf as he wiped his face and gave Mark a sorry stare. “Mark I’m so sorry.”

“He knew didn’t he? We shouldn’t even be here. You took him away to keep him safe.” Mark cried as the paramedics raced to Kian’s side to attend to his wounds. 

Nicky stood to his feet and sobbed into his hands until Jack jumped to hug him. “I’m so sorry Kian. I tried... I tried to protect you.”

When the medics asked if Mark was OK, he nodded and sat away so they could tend to the blonde starting to lose consciousness. He looked up at Nicky talking to Jack and for the first time saw the Gardaí for exactly who he was. As if he wasn’t scared and shell shocked enough, Mark’s whole body sank into a sense of inner death. His world was crashing all around him and his throat run dry as Nicky turned to see the look on his face. 

“It was you!” Mark stared, dumbfounded by the sight of Nicky’s tribal tattoo across his back. 

The thought of exposure hadn’t even crossed Nicky’s mind at this point and it took him a moment to work out what the brunette meant. “What?”

“It was you... You raped me. It was you!” Mark’s eye’s streamed with emotion as he stood to his feet and confronted the guard. “You knew all along didn’t you?”

“Mark, no...”

“It was you wasn’t it? Tell me!” he yelled, pushing Nicky away. 

“Mark I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“No... No this can’t be happening. You’re with Shane...”

“Please, Mark, just stay calm alright, you’re in shock...” Nicky had never been more panicked in his life. Kian had just been shot and Mark had finally discovered the truth. He had no idea what to do. 

“If Kian dies I’ll kill you with my bare hands. If he wasn’t being strapped to a stretcher right now I’d break your fucking balls.”

“Mark, please let me explain.”

“You’ve ruined my life!” he screamed before falling back to the sand in hysterical cries. 

Nicky took a step back and hurled again, not far from the red soaked patch of 2 men’s insides. He watched as Mark turned to Kian then looked all around. The beach was teaming with guards and ambulance men, the tears and piercing screams of the van passenger hurling abuse at the sight of the dead bodies. Heath was laying on the ground behind a cop car, still passed out in shock as Brax’s body was covered and Jack talked to the other officers. He had to leave. Now!

Slowly inching his way away from the crowd, Nicky glared open mouthed at the drama and once going unnoticed he ran to jump in his car and spun his wheels off the road, speeding to Shane’s house where Paul sat patiently with him. Still topless and covered in blood, Nicky burst into the house leaving his car door open and panted as he entered the room. 

“Oh my god Nix!” Shane shot to his feet and hugged his man in front of the officer unaware of their relationship. “Oh god babe what happened?”

“We have to go. I’m so sorry Shane, we have to go.”

“What... Whose blood is that?” Paul feared the sting had gone terribly wrong. “Officer Byrne, what’s going on?”

Nicky kissed Shane and shoved him towards the door. “Get in the car, now!” The brunette trusted him and nodded, getting into the front passenger seat as fast as he could. “Darryl Braxton and Robert Franklin are dead. Kian Egan was harmed. I’m taking Shane into witness protection myself. I’m sorry Paul but I quit. I’m going with him.”

“Does anyone know you’re in a relationship with this witness Nicky?”

“Jack might and Mark Feehily... Now you.” Nicky frowned, grabbing the jumper Mark had left on the back of the sofa. “It’s carnage mate. I can’t do this I’m sorry. Tell Jack and Martha I’m sorry. I’m out.” 

“Nicky be careful. I’ll hook you up with an identity if this is what you want?”

“Shane and I are dead, got it? I don’t care what excuse you use but I’m doing this. Shane’s going into the program and I’m going with him. Sorry.” Nicky cried and left the officer to deal with the process of making everyone believe Shane and Nicky had been caught up in the repercussions of taking down a drug mafia. 

Nicky had never driven faster in his life. Shane was holding on for dear life as he took the sharp corners, heading south of the country to get away from the breaking news already blasting through the radio. 

“Nicky slow down or you’ll kill us for real... Nix, please. Just tell me. Who’s dead?”

“It’s fine. It’s gonna be fine. The lads will be fine... Shane I love you so much, you believe me don’t you?” Nicky sobbed, keeping his eyes on the windy country roads. “Tell me you trust me.”

“I trust you. What’s going on?”

“I fucked up OK. We can’t ever go back. We can’t ever see or speak to Mark and Kian again do you understand me? Give me your phone.”

“Fucked up how Nix? I left my phone at home... Nicky!” Shane yelled, gripping the blonde’s knee as he skidded to a halt down a grass verge. “Fucking hell... Jesus. Nicky what did you do?”

“Nothing. It wasn’t me alright I swear. The boys are OK but Brax and Rob are dead. We had to leave. Jack knows about us and... I love you. I love you so fucking much... We’re dead to them now. This is happening. It’s just you and me. Can you handle that?” Nicky turned to Shane with dry blood and tears decorating his face. “I’m doing this with you. Worse case scenario we only have each other left. I’m so sorry.”

“Right... But Kian and Mark are safe yeah?” Nicky nodded, unsure Kian would survive the blood loss. “Witness protection right? No going back. We don’t exist?”

“I’m sorry. I’m all you have left.” 

“Fucking hell.” Shane sighed. “Thank you.” He lunged across the car and held the weeping man tight in his arms, kissing his dirty cheek. “You saved my life Nicky. Of course you’re all I need. I love you so much baby. We’ll make this work I promise. Thank you.” 

For 5 minutes the boys held each other tight in the front of the undercover car pulled up on a lay-by on its way to wherever Nicky took them to hide. The surrounding fields were still and peaceful; birds swooping down to nip at crops and pick the seeds on the ground. The sun was shining and the air was breezy. No sounds of gun shots or screams, no red painted bodies and sand scattered around them, just the pure bliss of the Irish countryside bringing Nicky to a calmer state. There was no going back but he had the most gorgeous man alive beside him, reminding him that if he hadn’t risked his own life and career, they could be facing different futures and the thought of being ripped apart so soon was more painful than having to fake their own deaths and kissing goodbye to everyone else they knew and loved.  
**

Sat in the shrink room, Mark battled through his appointment...

“Kian’s..... We broke up. Said I’m too broken and he needs support himself so I’m no good to him.” Mark tried hard to hold back tears for longer than he usually did but the break up was fresh, only happening 5 days ago. His life was shattered. He had nothing and no one. 

“I’m very sorry to hear that. Would you rather we talk about project panda instead today? If project dolphin is too raw.” She suggested, using Mark’s chosen code names for each event ruling his suffocating mind. “We were up to the part where the offender...”

“I know!” he snapped, slapping both hands on his ears to drown out the sound of her voice. Even the mention of project panda hurled him into a mental fit more so than the recent dolphin fiasco. Digging his nails into his scalp, pinching his lobes with his thumbs, rocking back and forth in his chair as he rode out the demon dragging its sharp knuckles down his spine. 

“Remember to count Mark. It’s OK sweetheart.” Roo had to be patient every time, knowing this was his normal reaction. It only lasted half a minute then he’d settle, apologise and carry on. It was only his 3rd appointment.

Project Panda; the code name for the night Nicky raped him and ruined his life.   
Project Dolphin; the 11 days of lies and deceit resulting in the shooting of his dear boyfriend. The event that saw his attacker and best friend escape the law only to be pronounced dead days later when Nicky staged the cliff top demise of the vehicle the lovers had drove off in. 

Kian recovered from his injury but when his beautifully broken boyfriend refused to speak of Shane’s 'death' and the truth about Nicky’s offence, the blonde felt better off alone, calling an end to their relationship, their friendship and everything associated with the River Boys. The only thing left for the brunette boy was therapy to prevent his own suicide. Tablets and psychiatric help as every day he laid in bed in a cold, empty house, his friends gone, his future unknown.   
**


End file.
